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Thanked Posts by Vitamin G

  1. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Nil if they drew in the troll face I would prob laugh.

    Holy shit mom no what the fuck how am I gonna- AAAAAAHahahahahaha is that a trollface?
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  2. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN 1- hydro failing to shoot herself in the head

    post the story.

    Living with hydro was chaos. Fighting was a regular occurrence, and the whole experience felt like one big powder keg. I could go on about how she once pulled out her hair in a Walmart parking lot whilst screaming at the top of her lungs "I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE OH WHY CAN'T SOMEBODY JUST FUCKING KILL ME". Or I could get into the time she groped me inside of a (different) Walmart while I was telling her to stop. I distinctly remember the look on this old woman's face at checkout. Just pure, abject horror. Had the genders been reversed it would have been a different story, but I digress.

    This story started with ice cream. I don't remember what kind it was, but I do remember that I was high on clonazepam when I sent hydro a picture of my glorious sundae while she was at work. It had strawberry jelly, streaks of chocolate, and sprinkles, I'm pretty sure. Don't really remember if it was delicious or not, but I've no doubt it was. This sundae was my grand mistake. Had things turned out differently, it could've very well been the mistake that led to hydro's death because evidently, I used the last of the ice cream.

    This was absolutely the last straw for hydro. I distinctly remember her banshee scream, "DID YOU EAT THE LAST OF MY FUCKING ICE CREAM?" It was midnight. I did not even remember making the ice cream. This did not deter hydro.

    I tried to reason with her, telling her that it was only ice cream after all. She started stomping through the house asking, "Where's the gun? Where's the fucking gun?" I knew where the gun was. It was on top of the fridge. But I wasn't about to tell her, she'd already pointed a gun at me twice before. It was only a .22 5-shot revolver 'bout the size of my palm. But I wasn't taking that risk, so I-

    actually... this is a different night lol. I don't think she found the gun this night. OOPS. I will update with the real story after dinner.
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  3. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    "The first cigarette of the morning is the best," Wren said. "That's the one that wakes you up. It's the only cigarette that matters."

    "Well..." Sudo paused to take a puff. "What about the second and third cigarette? Those are pretty good too. And the last one's not bad either."

    "Oh the last one's the worst."

    "The worst?" Sudo questioned.

    "The worst," he reiterated. "The last cigarette of the day is truly a dreaded thing. It's the tired cap to yet another night on this awful fucking planet. But the first? The first cigarette has hope. You can step outside and think of things like: 'Maybe it'll get better today. Maybe today I'll quit smoking. Maybe today I'll meet the girl of my dreams'. The last cigarette has no maybes. It's cold and dark and depressing, and there's no hope of quitting with it. There's no hope of anything."

    "Yeah, okay," Sudo said. His face flickered with orange as Wren struggled to light another cigarette. They had been smoking all night.

    "The second is alright though. Third one too. It's just that last one I don't like." Wren stared down at the floor. A cat meowed in the distance. "Hey, can you pass me another beer?"

    "Sure."

    The two sat for some time, contemplating which cigarette of the night would be their last. Wren hoped to at least get another five in.

    "Hey I think it's happening," Sudo said. "Look."

    Wren half-sat out of his chair, glancing briefly at the sky beyond the window. "Oh yeah, it's happening alright. Pass me the lighter would you?"

    "How long do you think it's going to take?"

    "I don't know."

    "Really though, how long?" Sudo asked. "An hour, two?" The sky was quickly turning to a vibrant yellow. Wren stood up to close the curtain.

    "I think less than that. Maybe just a few more lines of dialogue. I was watching the news this morning and they said it could be a matter of seconds."

    "Oh. Okay." The thought of having a beer passed briefly through Sudo's head, but he had already decided that he wouldn't. It was best to stay in Allah's good graces during these final moments.

    "So is there anything you want to talk about? Anything at all?" Sudo wiped the sweat from his brow. The room was getting hotter.

    "No," Wren said, taking a long pull from his diminishing cigarette. "I think this is it though."

    "Is it?"

    "Yeah," he said, scratching at his beard. "Well, no. One more. I'll have one more. You have that lighter again?"

    "Sure man. Anything." Sudo handed over the lighter, wishing it was a BIC. Why hadn't they gotten a BIC?

    Wren cupped his hands over the faithful stick and took a drag, making the room glow orange for the last time, as they drifted slowly, but surely, into the sun.
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  4. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by -SpectraL Obviously, he was never properly registered as an American citizen either, because the FBI forged a phony birth certificate in Hawaii for him, according to direct evidence of the forgery discovered by a forensics team hired by the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. He never was an American citizen, even through birth.

    >Maricopa County

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  5. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by A College Professor youre stupid and dont know what soup is . CLUTCH IT, NIGGA

    I made your mom so wet last night that Trump had to deploy a 24 hour infantry unit to stack sandbags around my bed.
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  6. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Japan-Is-Eternal Poverty is just a mindset

    Said the boy to himself as he pushed back hunger pains for the third time that night.

    But all was well, for he had a CRT and an old Playstation, and nothing, not even the liberals, could take that from him.
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  7. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    I will count soup votes in the OP. My vote is for broccoli cheddar as it is amazing with a good firm sourdough, and sourdough is the best bread.

    Broccoli cheddar- 1

    Chicken wild rice - 1

    Vagina chowder- 2

    Minestrone - 0

    SpectraL is a little punk ass bitch - 1

    Curry squash - 1

    Chicken dumpling - 1
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  8. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN I don't know how to image message. I'm a mere LOLcat maker. My dad was a LOcat amker and passed the family business to me. It's all I know.

    right click, copy image address, put in the brackets. Proper link should direct to the image and have .png or .jpeg or something at the end. Sometimes it's in the middle tho.

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  9. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    What a great day to not live in Ohio
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  10. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny > just had cancer.
    > buys another cancer lottery ticket.

    Vaping doesnt cause cancer and none of the health scares right now are related to cancer. It's all about THC oils causing buildup in the lungs and leading to infection. That and metal poisoning from shitty chinese coils. No problems reported with the Mexican ones so far.
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  11. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Hi
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  12. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Mass Effect in space
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  13. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by -SpectraL Those officials should all go to prison for a very long time. Nothing to do with the President.

    Oh it has everything to do with the president. Trump appointed Carson and signed budget cuts to the HUD. This is just another part of that.

    He also lied about having given them the money and completely made up an amount.

    Such a shame that Trump could treat his own citizens like this just because he's stupid enough to believe its not part of the US.
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  14. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    I started writing a story but I got tired. Maybe I need another thanks.

    And have I mentioned how great this thread is? I mean WOW
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  15. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    salud
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  16. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    I think I still need more thanks before I'm able to write a story.
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  17. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Originally posted by TOTALLYNOTOMGPLZDNTBAN This thread blows. No one wants a LOLcat from me do they? Why should you get all the credit as greatest LOLcat maker in recent history?

    Wtf why would I want a LOLcat from you? You're just trying to coattail off OP's massive success. Make your own thread if you want to make LOLcats. I doubt it'll be any good but there's no harm in trying i suppose.
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  18. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Church
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  19. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    Hikki has the right idea waiting for the right girl. People who put sex above relationships are not good humans. They're whores.
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  20. Vitamin G African Astronaut
    I'm giving the kids who dont knock/ring the doorbell/say trick or treat all the shit candy. Like Milk Duds and Heath and Whoppers.

    Unless they're small and cute and young. I give them the good shit
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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