Originally posted by Dregs
Your cat. Not just yours but ALL of our purposes. So I wanna propose to your cat…do I have your permission? father knows best in every way without you I will die…
No, you may not propose to my cat. My cat is already engaged.
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Over 6 days now. Officially the longest I've gone without the alcohol in Idk exactly but definitely over a year. No raging. Not feeling much as I am whenever sober but I sometimes would fake a smile or some shit like that to feign interest in whatever was going on. Not much going on with the feels. Not really more active either…I get out a few hrs a day but thats about it. I don't FEEL like getting out more than that. I sleep a couple hours more a day or night…sometimes nap during the day. Not really enthuased about much. My online time is a lil up too. Ugh I guess its been worth it so far. Maybe I need to just keep on trucking and hopefully I feel an abundance of emotion soon. Unless I'm a robot and don't even know it.
fuck yeah dude! This is the point when you should reallyget involved in doing ANYTHING theraputic if you want it to stick
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Currently waiting fo egg my chicken shawarma and falafel kebab plate.
I just shared at my meeting. I told everyone I was on methadone. I told them I cooked up a shot a couple weeks ago just to smell it, try to remember what it felt like to be happy and numb and at peace.
I just kinda dont give a fuck what anyone thinks about me anymore. I'm doing this for ME. And I know what I feel. For the first time in my life I'm not trying to bullshit anyone. So they can either roll with it or suvk my dick.
But I feel good.
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In pain but mentally okay. Kind of amazed ibuprofen does anything bc i was always on so many opioids it never did shit for me before. Lost 7 lb this week just from shitting so much that icant hold down much food. I was a brave boy and got my blood work done today without procrastinating. So i should be on testosterone in a couple of weeks. There was a jumping spider in the shower and i let him walk arround onmy hand for a min. Which is weird bc i hate spiders and needles, so the way it didnt give me anxiety made me think about the effects of drug use on anxiety and fear response.
I just need to remember that even when i dont have the energy to do big stuff, its not too late for me to have the things i want in life. Im relatively healthy. Im not hideous or deformed. Im not completely retarded. Its going to be a couple more years and a lot of work before that can happen, but when i really sit downand think about it, the greatest shame for me wouldnt be not being able to do something, but having the ability and not trying bc it was too hard, bc itd take too long, bc i couldnt envision it formyself.
thats it
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Originally posted by Dregs
and its only get worse..
i've been on a few reservations surprised i made it off of each one. usually have their rifles or whatever right next to them. always drunken than even more. its shocking how much they fucking drink and their food its out of the stone age…much of it raw like what the fuck? they just WANT THEIR LAND back. Fuck them…even though I got a lil ojibwe in me but I fuck myself just fine.
they have mastered the art of being nice to your face and stab ya right back in private.
as the PIGS up in here. Fucking laziest son of bitches ever. You can call them on some emergency THEY STATION JUST DOWN THE BLOCK AND WAIT A COUPLE HOURS TIL THEY GET HERE THERE WHEREVER. 2 OR MORE HRS FOR AN EMERGENCY! SCUM OF THE EARTH.
It's a welfare state. They don't even know what an honest day's work is. Their whole lives, for generations, they have been relying solely on the taxpayer for survival. They've conditioned themselves to think the government owes them and must provide for them for their entire lifetimes. And when you go over there and stand at a gas station and watch, it's all natives lining up at the pumps for gas. But you don't see a single one of them protesting at the gas pumps where they drive up to get their gas, tax-free, I might add.
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The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
