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Posts by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III
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2019-06-30 at 12:58 PM UTC in stand up comedy is absolute trash
Originally posted by mmQ Technically you should shut up and learn to laugh.
If you heckled me and I was famous I would use that line on you and everyone would laugh at it. But now it's just a weak line that is maybe one person chuckles at and most people even cringe.
yea but they would just be laughing because they felt like they had to because they're boring enough of people that they cucked themselves into going to see a stand up comedy show. probably a bunch of gabriel iglesias looking motherfuckers who have shitty sex because theyre fat morons taking their dates out to literally go watch somebody else say funny shit crossing their fingers hoping that the poor chubby woman they convinced to go with them confuses the comics forced humor with them being an interesting person so they can stick their pathetic lil dick inside her for all of 30 seconds before they roll off her and go to sleep being content with their piece of shit life -
2019-06-30 at 12:49 PM UTC in stand up comedy is absolute trash
Originally posted by mmQ Holy shit . Depends on the comic. Amateur stand up comedy sucks kinda. The only way to do it is to do the amateur phase and then be funny enough to where you can are famous enough to make stupid jokes and still get laughed at. What the fuck do I know but I'm just saying everyone started somewhere. There are a lot of "good" comedians now that you pay to see and you kinda just have to laugh because you feel bad if you dont.
And then you have your niggas like Norm Macdonald that are just plain funny to the right people but not at all to the WRONG people. I seriously dislike anyone that doesn't appreciate norm. God damn I love him.
Norm and hedberg are absolutely my two favorite comedians of all time. It angers me watching their shows and hearing weak laughter on what are truly their best jokes. YouTube can actually be kind of good for that type of thing at the end of the day, scrolling down to see people actually liking and loving the best jokes that during the show they didn't get much laughter.
Pensi
technically yes it depends on the comic TECHNICALLY but the vast majority of it and the people who enjoy it are fucking retards who are constantly amused by the same penis/vagina/fart jokes -
2019-06-30 at 12:43 PM UTC in Just to elt you guys know you would not want to be around me drunk
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2019-06-30 at 12:22 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Editionwhen u get two days sober
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2019-06-30 at 12:20 PM UTC in Can Louis CK come back now?LOL HE SAID MASTURBATE
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2019-06-30 at 12:19 PM UTC in So I was at this event yesterday this beach music thingand provided you're down to ruin your life
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2019-06-30 at 12:19 PM UTC in So I was at this event yesterday this beach music thing
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2019-06-30 at 12:18 PM UTC in So I was at this event yesterday this beach music thing
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2019-06-30 at 12:17 PM UTC in Just to elt you guys know you would not want to be around me drunk
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2019-06-30 at 12:17 PM UTC in So I was at this event yesterday this beach music thingTELL US WHAT IT IS SUSIE
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2019-06-30 at 12:16 PM UTC in So I was at this event yesterday this beach music thingwas what necessary
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2019-06-30 at 12:13 PM UTC in “Humans are being farmed”
Originally posted by Technologist I can’t see how anyone can date someone that young. Most people realize there is nothing in common, and move on. I only dated one guy 2 years younger than me, in my 20s. Other that that I dated guys within 5-7 years older than me.
The guy younger than me was my only exception to dating younger, and he was from Australia.
And yesssssss, it was Aldra. Sorry Aldra, I had to tell eventually.😁
i said fucked, not dated -
2019-06-30 at 12:10 PM UTC in stand up comedy is absolute trash
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2019-06-30 at 12:07 PM UTC in So I was at this event yesterday this beach music thingi used to be friends with this chinese girl that used to invite me to things like that, nerdy white dudes would show up sometimes and i was always the coolest one there, too high on drugs to care about anyone else. but i did a bunch of meth and weirded her and all her friends out
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2019-06-30 at 12:03 PM UTC in stand up comedy is absolute trashthis faggot at work always listens to stand up comedy and it's the trashiest, most mindless entertainment ever. they literally just make jokes about farts, penis, vagina, racism, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. i don't get what is supposed to be funny about it? do people just laugh because everyone else is laughing? is that whats going on? they just get together to go see stand up they know is not going to be funny so they can enjoy the experience of laughing with other people?
the comics are always fucking assholes too and the jokes they make about women make me feel bad for them. like the typical relationship joke is like I CAME HOME TO MY WIFE BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME, THAT BITCH LOLOL. right before they make a joke about how their VAGINA is gross sometimes sometimes it BLEEDS AND IM LIKE EW WTF IS THAT LMAO. or they make jokes about how they don't get sex enough. like ur relationship must fucking blow. i'd hate to live your existence. i'd rather be miserably depressed with a burned out brain even than be a faggot normie who fails at everything and just becomes bitter so you drink hella beer and make shitty jokes. it's fucking disgusting.
there's this faggot i work with who tried to steal 30 bucks from me my first day but i called him out on it and dont take any of his bullshit and i basically just act like im superior to him (because i am) at all times and he listens to stand up comedy constantly and he lives that lifestyle 100%. he always is coming down off coke and drunk and is talking shit about how people have "hope", or for going to the dentist or having a relationship. there was a really hot 23 year old girl who worked with us who actually had hobbies and shit and was pretty chill that for some reason wanted to date him and he literally turned her down because he's too busy being drunk watching adult cartoons and stand up comedy in bed 24/7. it sounds like exactly some shit you'd hear a comic say. like i can imagine the bit being like -
"OK SO I RECENTLY TURNED 40, THE BIG OLE 4-0 *a couple seconds of silence while the audience laughs out loud for no discernible reason* AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS *the silence/laughter thing again*. I CAN'T GET IT UP ANYMORE. *laughter* MY WIFE AND I GOT INTO A FIGHT OVER WHO WAS GOING TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT SO I WAS LIKE, FUCK YOU BITCH (with a way overdone mitch hedberg-esque delivery) AND THEN I SLEPT ON THE COUCH. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT I FELT MY STOMACH BREWING UP A STORM AND I FARTED I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE SILENT BUT IT WAS THE WORST MOST DISGUSTING FART EVER. YOU KNOW LIKE WHEN YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH SOME RANDOM GIRL (LOL VAGINA) AND THEN YOU FART AND YOU THINK SHE WONT HEAR IT BUT THEN SHES LIKE "EWW WHAT IS THAT" AND LEAVES? YA IT WAS ONE OF THOSE FARTS AND THEN MY DOG GOT UP AND LEFT TO GO WITH MY WIFE SO I DID WHAT ANYBODY ELSE IN THAT SITUATION WOULD DO, I STARTED DRINKING *silence/laughter*. THATS RIGHT FOLKS I WAS DRINKING A BEER AT 4 AM ON A TUESDAY. *silence/laughter* THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS I KEPT DRINKING *silence laughter* THEN MY WIFE FINALLY CAME OUT OF THE ROOM AND THE STORM IN MY STOMACH COMBINED WITH THE BEER MADE ME SHART MY PANTS. THATS RIGHT FOLKS, I SHARTED MY PANTS IN FRONT OF MY WIFE. SHE WAS DISGUSTED AND THREATENED TO LEAVE ME BUT I WAS LIKE, "BUT HONEY DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT CAME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA LAST WEEK?" *intense laughter* -
2019-06-30 at 11:43 AM UTC in “Humans are being farmed”i fucked a 19 year old and she was so fucking immature and childish and irritating, i probably would not do it again (i definitely would but i would be pissed at myself after i came)
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2019-06-30 at 11:17 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by GGG You get arrested for the possession, not the overdose. It's not illegal to overdose whatsoever lmao.
If consumption was illegal you could be arrested for a dirty drop, like they do in China and other countries. They'll just go to bars and drug test foreigners/minorities and if you pop you get deported or gulag'd even without having any drugs on you.
i crossed into vietnam with some benzos on me. i was on a bus where i was the only white dude, some cambodian guy booked it for me. i'm pretty sure you can get life in prison/a death sentence if you get caught bringing drugs in and they really wanted to search the shit out of my bag because i was the only white guy and the bus driver kept yelling at me to get all my bags. anyways i wasn't nervous at all because of the benzos i took but while they were searching my bag i was just thinking like fuck, idk what's about to happen if they find it -
2019-06-30 at 11:10 AM UTC in Lol, Trump just walked into Best Korea.it would have been way better if either one of them or both of them had been shot/kidnapped as they crossed the border
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2019-06-30 at 11:09 AM UTC in So I was at this event yesterday this beach music thing
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2019-06-30 at 11:01 AM UTC in Lol, Trump just walked into Best Korea.kim sounds like a dumbass ajusshi when he speaks korean but a lil boy when he speaks english lol
