2019-06-30 at 12:03 PM UTC
this faggot at work always listens to stand up comedy and it's the trashiest, most mindless entertainment ever. they literally just make jokes about farts, penis, vagina, racism, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. i don't get what is supposed to be funny about it? do people just laugh because everyone else is laughing? is that whats going on? they just get together to go see stand up they know is not going to be funny so they can enjoy the experience of laughing with other people?
the comics are always fucking assholes too and the jokes they make about women make me feel bad for them. like the typical relationship joke is like I CAME HOME TO MY WIFE BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME, THAT BITCH LOLOL. right before they make a joke about how their VAGINA is gross sometimes sometimes it BLEEDS AND IM LIKE EW WTF IS THAT LMAO. or they make jokes about how they don't get sex enough. like ur relationship must fucking blow. i'd hate to live your existence. i'd rather be miserably depressed with a burned out brain even than be a faggot normie who fails at everything and just becomes bitter so you drink hella beer and make shitty jokes. it's fucking disgusting.
there's this faggot i work with who tried to steal 30 bucks from me my first day but i called him out on it and dont take any of his bullshit and i basically just act like im superior to him (because i am) at all times and he listens to stand up comedy constantly and he lives that lifestyle 100%. he always is coming down off coke and drunk and is talking shit about how people have "hope", or for going to the dentist or having a relationship. there was a really hot 23 year old girl who worked with us who actually had hobbies and shit and was pretty chill that for some reason wanted to date him and he literally turned her down because he's too busy being drunk watching adult cartoons and stand up comedy in bed 24/7. it sounds like exactly some shit you'd hear a comic say. like i can imagine the bit being like -
"OK SO I RECENTLY TURNED 40, THE BIG OLE 4-0 *a couple seconds of silence while the audience laughs out loud for no discernible reason* AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS *the silence/laughter thing again*. I CAN'T GET IT UP ANYMORE. *laughter* MY WIFE AND I GOT INTO A FIGHT OVER WHO WAS GOING TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT SO I WAS LIKE, FUCK YOU BITCH (with a way overdone mitch hedberg-esque delivery) AND THEN I SLEPT ON THE COUCH. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT I FELT MY STOMACH BREWING UP A STORM AND I FARTED I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE SILENT BUT IT WAS THE WORST MOST DISGUSTING FART EVER. YOU KNOW LIKE WHEN YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH SOME RANDOM GIRL (LOL VAGINA) AND THEN YOU FART AND YOU THINK SHE WONT HEAR IT BUT THEN SHES LIKE "EWW WHAT IS THAT" AND LEAVES? YA IT WAS ONE OF THOSE FARTS AND THEN MY DOG GOT UP AND LEFT TO GO WITH MY WIFE SO I DID WHAT ANYBODY ELSE IN THAT SITUATION WOULD DO, I STARTED DRINKING *silence/laughter*. THATS RIGHT FOLKS I WAS DRINKING A BEER AT 4 AM ON A TUESDAY. *silence/laughter* THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS I KEPT DRINKING *silence laughter* THEN MY WIFE FINALLY CAME OUT OF THE ROOM AND THE STORM IN MY STOMACH COMBINED WITH THE BEER MADE ME SHART MY PANTS. THATS RIGHT FOLKS, I SHARTED MY PANTS IN FRONT OF MY WIFE. SHE WAS DISGUSTED AND THREATENED TO LEAVE ME BUT I WAS LIKE, "BUT HONEY DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT CAME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA LAST WEEK?" *intense laughter*
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2019-06-30 at 12:08 PM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
Didn't read
stand up comedy is a beautiful medium that's underutilized, misused and has been honed to appeal to the lowest common demominator
I was literally just about to make a thread about louis CK
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2019-06-30 at 12:10 PM UTC
Louis CK, Dave Chappelle, John Mullaney
2019-06-30 at 12:22 PM UTC
Holy shit . Depends on the comic. Amateur stand up comedy sucks kinda. The only way to do it is to do the amateur phase and then be funny enough to where you can are famous enough to make stupid jokes and still get laughed at. What the fuck do I know but I'm just saying everyone started somewhere. There are a lot of "good" comedians now that you pay to see and you kinda just have to laugh because you feel bad if you dont.
And then you have your niggas like Norm Macdonald that are just plain funny to the right people but not at all to the WRONG people. I seriously dislike anyone that doesn't appreciate norm. God damn I love him.
Norm and hedberg are absolutely my two favorite comedians of all time. It angers me watching their shows and hearing weak laughter on what are truly their best jokes. YouTube can actually be kind of good for that type of thing at the end of the day, scrolling down to see people actually liking and loving the best jokes that during the show they didn't get much laughter.
Pensi
2019-06-30 at 12:53 PM UTC
Technically you should shut up and learn to laugh.
If you heckled me and I was famous I would use that line on you and everyone would laugh at it. But now it's just a weak line that is maybe one person chuckles at and most people even cringe.
2019-06-30 at 12:55 PM UTC
I prefer sitting comedies like the family guy
2019-06-30 at 1:02 PM UTC
I saw Jeff Dunham live when I was on shrooms and bundy it wasn't a good experience. Psychedelics and stand up comedy is the worst
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2019-06-30 at 1:07 PM UTC
I dont disagree. I've been to two stand up comedy shows in my life. One was Jim Gaffigan with my mom, and I force laughed a number of times to appease her. He maybe had two jokes worthy of a legit real laugh.
The other was one a few months ago. Brian Posein (spelling) was an opener and hes always been awkward so I laughed at his shit because I like awkward comedy. Still forced a bit. And the headliner was uh.. Tig Notaro (also spelling?) And she was horribly unfunny. I actually got to be the highlight of her show because we were in the front row and when she started to go into a new bit I had to piss so I stood up and walked away and she said something along the lines of "well gee I guess we know how this guy feels." Probablt one of the easiest jokes to make as a stand up is to make fun of a guy going to pee.
2019-06-30 at 1:07 PM UTC
GGG
victim of incest
[my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
Amy Schumer is one of my favorit comediens
2019-06-30 at 1:09 PM UTC
My favorite stand up comedian is Donald trump.
2019-06-30 at 1:09 PM UTC
Pee Wee Herman is my favorite
2019-06-30 at 2:42 PM UTC
Clearly your work 'friend' has shit taste in comics.
2019-06-30 at 2:48 PM UTC
Oh shit, OG is off the etiz again.
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2019-06-30 at 3:13 PM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist
My favorite stand up comedian is Donald trump.
Hooray! The first person to mention Trump in a non political thread, what a cunt.
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2019-06-30 at 3:18 PM UTC
Originally posted by Erekshun
Hooray! The first person to mention Trump in a non political thread, what a cunt.
You're the first person to make it weird though.
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