at my work when we close and it's time for everyone to get out so we can clean up, i stop whatever jazz or 80s music is playing in the lobby and put this on
We must call upon our bright darkness, Beliefs, they're the bullets of the wicked, One was written on the sword, For you must enter a room to destroy it, International security, Call of the righteous man, Needs a reason to kill man, History teaches us so, The reason he must attain, Must be approved by his god, His child, partisan brother of war
Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
Humans are "allegedly" a social species…socializing isn't "codependency".
i'm trying to figure out what part of what i wrote you interpret as simply "socializing" but i can't because you're an idiot and a boomer and should kys
my normie friend actually hit me up last night and asked me to go to thai food with him and his girlfriend. i've been bitching to him a lot in recent weeks about my life so he knows what's going on in my life kind of even though we never hung out outside work. like 5 minutes after we order their neighbor by "coincidence" shows up and orders her food and sits next to me and they kept going "oh what a COINCIDENCE" to see you here as she mentions like 3 times over an hour that she's single and is putting her hand on my shoulder and shit. shes kind of cute and i felt like my friend actually gives a shit about me enough to go out of his way for me but i don't even feel like i can do it. it feels weird, almost disrespectful to both me and her (and her) to even fuck around with someone else when i still have 5 years worth of lodged memories of my ex in memory
people say you just need to see someone else or start dating again but i think that's pretty much just using codependency as a replacement. like you are literally just depending on someone else to replace those feelings and memories, without establishing a new self to share with them first. its stupid and selfish and gross and bound for failure because the basis of the entire relationship would be just to kill off those feelings with your ex. i wouldn't want to be either person in that relationship. i guess if all you want is a warm body to eat and sleep with you then it gets the job done. but maybe the problem is with me and it's unrealistic to expect much more than that.
Originally posted by Rear Naked Joke
Keep up your meds and keep off the other drugs man. Really try. You're in shape and you're getting somewhere dude, you got this.
My biggest advice is to find new hobbies. Go and find ways to fill up time while you're sober. That's what kills me about trying to not smoke weed so much the days just drag on when in sober. So my strategy has been to drop money on whatever hobby strikes my whim and just wear it out. Yeah long term I'll drop it but it's whatever. I just get out the impulse. It actually makes me happy. Yeah I'm spending a shit load but what else do you make money for except to be happy and express yourself? I just ordered some VR gear and a new graphics card and I'll get lost in that for a couple of weeks. Music, art, whatever. Just be wild and let it all out, fill up that time.
PM me if you'd like me to talk.
Thanks, I've been doing pretty well with those things I guess. My attention span is still fucked up though, it feels hard to get into anything like that. I've been trying to read though and do things that don't straight up rot my brain like just watching shitty music videos and getting high for hours in my time off work. I'm actually about to have everything line up for me in a way that should make life "good" if my brain allows myself to be happy in those circumstances. I think I need to quit smoking weed, but you're right, it's so fucking boring without it. I start to lose my mind when I don't have anything to do.
all my friends are in NA or recently quit using hard drugs or they fall in the class that i don't pick up their phone calls or answer them. i refuse to go to meetings even though at this point it feels like the only thing that might prevent me from dying alone. i wouldn't want to become a cliche or anything
