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Posts That Were Thanked by hydromorphone
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2019-03-16 at 10:08 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionActually I'm going to go check the mail bc that's kind of ridiculous to take 10 days to get a couple of pieces of paper from Los Angeles to Los Angeles.
Are they writing out the report in calligraphy, in his own coagulated blood? Should just be able to print it out and chuck it in an envelope. For that amount of money, it feels like there should be a bit of urgency.
To increase traffic, should I do a live reading on Tinychat when it comes thru? I can do it naked, in the voice of Morgan Freeman. -
2019-03-13 at 6:35 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
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2019-03-13 at 5:56 PM UTC in How many people actually hooked up on DH?
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2019-03-13 at 5:41 AM UTC in what kind of underwear do u where
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2019-03-13 at 5:31 AM UTC in what kind of underwear do u whereI don't.
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2019-03-12 at 7:24 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionI'm so goddamned embarrassed about how I acted around everyone on xanax, and it kills me that I pushed everyone away and everyone thinks I'm literally retarded or a piece of shit because I literally couldn't see or hear well or remember ANYTHING, and would talk in circles and space out mid-conversation and forget things immediately and couldn't walk straight and had no coordination or fine motor skills, and forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence.
I kinda objectively ruined my life.
kek -
2019-03-12 at 4:13 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah. That's the part that I think gets me the most. I can't find an obituary…,a funeral service….a grave site. It's like he was never here to begin with. He had all these people reaching out to him. I figured he'd at least want to see what normal interactions/life could be like.
I always imagined doing a documentary about totse and all the offshoots. It's our shitty little niche site, but when you think about it like I said- he's really just a proxy for those millions of people with severe social and mental health issues. From the sounds of it, he was on a ton of different antidepressants, but they never seemed to do much. Imagine if he'd channeled all that brain power to doing anything constructive? He could've been a fantastic columnist or political commentator.
Idk. I guess it feels like he died years ago. But he promised he'd meet up for a couple of days. Idk how I could've been more accommodating. I wonder if he thought I'd talk him out of it? Part of me admires his resolve, but the rest is just…ugh. My life sucked for such a long time. And most days I didn't even feel like trying to change anything. I just wanted to get high and go to sleep, and wake up and maybe something would be different. But finally I realized "if you're serious about killing yourself, wouldn't it make sense to try other things first?"
I GET suicide. No one should feel trapped. But he actually had a ton of positive qualities that he just hadn't cultivated. His suicide just feels lazy. Out of all my friends who died, even though I never met him face to face, I almost feel more for him because we were so much alike in so many ways. I think there's a ton of projection too. It makes me sad to think that if something happened to me, or I died in my sleep- it wouldn't be much different. My mom wouldn't be able to afford to bury me ( even if interrment is kinda stupid and selfish). It's almost impossible to find picture s of me online. I barely just started talking to old friends. All my closest friends are dead or in jail. Didn't go to school. Didn't get married. No significant other.
It just feels so strange for someone to be here for so long, and spend all those days on this planet, and all those conversations and all the reading and debating. And pictures of your dick next to your cat. And then there's just 40 or 50 assorted weirdos on the internet who even had an inkling you existed, and only one of them even known your real name…and he had to pay money to dig it up after the fact from your coroners report.
Idk.
It does seem like a shame. And there's probably at least a few million like him out there too. People who have squandered their potential and felt so hopeless from it that they instead opt to exit the game. People who are isolated from real social interaction and left to survive on the fringes of society.
He was good looking. Had a good body. Smart as fuck. Could've been so much more.
It's gonna be a year since his death in just a few more months.
If anybody wants to do a memorial I was thinking we could, idk, gather up some of his best posts and publish it? I'm willing to put it together. Free e-book and paper copies sold at printing cost. This way he isn't just nothing, there will be something physical that could possibly outlive any of us. Our grandchildren will dust off the book in 100 years and say, "Who the fuck was Malice?" He won't just exist on websites and archives anymore. IDK.
Maybe it's a stupid idea but if anyone wants to work on such a thing I know how to put it all together. Can provide evidence of paper copies being sold at cost. It really depends on the size/quality but it will probably only be 1-3 bucks per copy. The money just goes to Amazon but this is the cheapest/easiest/most accessible way I can think of memorializing him. Plus think of all the randoms who will buy this book and wonder what the fuck they've stumbled on to.
Also, hydro is a piece of shit mother. -
2019-03-07 at 9:23 PM UTC in Best heroin you've ever gotten...Ok story time for §m£ÂgØL and friends:
Here's the deal. When hydro says she wouldn't be able to function or take care of her son without opis, I believe her.
I truly don't think think she would be able to go out of the house much or really have much quality of life at all, and this is coming from a guy who beat heroin and never wants to go back. I have chronic pain every goddamn day, and it is miserable. I take gabapentin and Crouton just to take the edge off, and I truly do mean just the edge.
Thankfully, my botox treatment does seem to helping quite a bit, so I am clearly on the right track to getting my issues managed to some degree, but my head still fucking hurts a good portion of every day. Without botox, and at least gaba, this would not be reasonably doable, and I would probably consider going to a pain doc and getting at least some vicodin. hydro, (and §m£ÂgØL I guess), I wish you well. Really. -
2019-03-07 at 12:59 AM UTC in OFFICIAL Cool Kids Club registrylol your list of 'kool kids' is the the faggot retards on the short bus.
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2019-03-04 at 9:38 AM UTC in Have you ever been homeless- story time/advice thread
Originally posted by hydromorphone How long did you rough it on the street. Preferably, I'd like to hear your stories involving homelessness that didn't involve sleeping out of your car and shit. I'm talking like REAL homelessness where you actually had to sleep on corners, parking garages, ally ways, and abandoned buildings.
By gatekeeping homelessness like that, you're going to seriously restrict the number of (serious) replies you get.
Most people who end up homeless and entirely asset-less don't just bounce back to normalcy. You might get a story here and there from someone who was stuck sleeping on a park bench or couch surfing for a few days/weeks (which, incidentally, I have experienced). But if you want legit feedback from people who have been homeless for any lengthy amount of time, you might need to broaden your expectations a bit.
Originally posted by hydromorphone Was it by choice? What happened to land you in that boat?
In January of 2015 I was working part time as a security guard, and I figured "why pay half my income towards rent?" So I bought a cheap minivan (Dodge Caravan) and decided to just eliminate the rent expense entirely from my budget.
At first it was kind of manageable, but then I lost my job, and shit got real real fast.
Originally posted by hydromorphone How did you manage, particularly in winter and in snow and shitty cold weather?
The elements are always the worst part. Obviously moreso for the pedestrian homeless, but it can be kind of a nuisance for the vehicularly oriented during the Winter, and especially brutal during the Summer. Think about how hot it gets, and factor in things like food storage and so on, and, yeah, it's brutal - unless you can find shade. I became adept at shade-chasing, as it becomes absolutely essential during peak temperatures.
Again, though, I will totally concede that being homeless without a vehicle in the Winter would be absolutely hellish, while having a vehicle (as long as your heating system works and you can afford gas and so on - which isn't always guaranteed) makes it a lot more bearable.
Originally posted by hydromorphone Did you enjoy it or at least parts of it? If you're not currently homeless, what happened that got you off the streets?
There were definitely some fun parts, especially towards the beginning while I still had at least some income to work with. I ended up exploring new places I hadn't been to before. I also learned a lot about survival under unique conditions. Having virtually no money towards the end, and no typical amenities like running water or refrigeration or most cooking conveniences (such as a stove, oven, or microwave), my diet changed quite significantly. I mean, food storage alone, without a refrigerator... It's a huge pain in the ass.
Originally posted by hydromorphone Also, what city was it in? What were the resources like there? Did you puss out and go to shelters?
All over the lower mainland of BC (in and around Vancouver).
I experimented with different regions (urban, suburban, rural, and straight-up wilderness). Each type of region has it's own advantages and disadvantages.
There were some rough parts, like the time I woke up in the middle of the night to a hooker rummaging through my stuff (my locks didn't work consistently), or the time I got chased out of a neighborhood because they thought I was up to no good (unfamiliar van parked at the end of a street, etc), etc.
But most of it wasn't too, too bad.
Eventually, though, I couldn't take the elements (Summer did it, not Winter).
I gave up and went on social assistance and got an apartment and started looking for another job. -
2019-03-04 at 4:25 AM UTC in Have you ever been homeless- story time/advice threadWhy is online porn being labeled as an addiction while murder and violence scenes on TV and the big screen are common and acceptable?
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2019-03-01 at 6:27 PM UTC in Shittiest city you've been to4 of us drove to Vegas from Los Angeles, one of the other dudes DAN was a bit weird and had not had sex in years...I told him we'd get him laid in Vegas what with it being legal there.
I was playing the slots and he kept following me around annoyingly..I told him to go play a machine and he said he didn't gamble..I gave him a roll of quarters and said "there now you're not gambling your money"...anyway he won a couple of hundred with that roll and then he was hooked.
Few hours later I said "Come on Dan lets go", he said "where" I said "We're going to go get you laid remember". "oh no I'm playing this machine now"...wtf faggot.
Driving back to L.A. we got stopped at the stateline, they apparently have a problem with bringing fruit and veg from state to state because of fruit flies...the cop or whatever he was flags us down, I rolled down the window and he said
"Hi, any fruits in the car"
I pointed at in the back and said "only Dan". -
2019-03-01 at 6:11 PM UTC in Shittiest city you've been toWhen I was in Vegas I was wondering around at 3am looking for my friend and this couple came up to me crying (really crying) asking for $5...I ask what for...they said "We've spent all out money and now we can't get home" I said "well how is $5 going to help"...they said "We'll use it to win back enough to go home"
...my fucking god... -
2019-02-28 at 12:10 PM UTC in Political Meme Thread, Feelings Will Be Hurt
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2019-02-28 at 1:24 AM UTC in Political Meme Thread, Feelings Will Be Hurt
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2019-02-21 at 9:16 AM UTC in Political Meme Thread, Feelings Will Be Hurt
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2019-02-19 at 6:19 AM UTC in Political Meme Thread, Feelings Will Be Hurt
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2019-02-18 at 9:05 PM UTC in Political Meme Thread, Feelings Will Be Hurt
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2019-02-13 at 6:46 PM UTC in Lanny: Salt the Earth.Ban every account with infinityshock in the name, prevent accounts with infinityshock in the name from ever being created again, and close regs.
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2019-02-03 at 9:43 PM UTC in Is Apple Dying?