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Posts by Archer513

  1. Archer513 African Astronaut
    He’s probably in the upper percentage of functioning humans in this atmosphere
  2. Archer513 African Astronaut
    All Asian females either look 12 or 60

    No in between
  3. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung Archer, but you're talkin about the States… he lives in Canada.

    In that socialist paradise you don’t have to work because everything is free..money for nothing and the chics are free.
  4. Archer513 African Astronaut
    We’re at 100% employment right now,anyone can get a job

    I saw a retard bus pull up to a McDonald’s and a gaggle of retards walk off in McDonald’s hats. Times is tough for an employer.
  5. Archer513 African Astronaut
    They don’t have bananas in Korea?
  6. Archer513 African Astronaut
    I wonder how many internet fucks have actually met and fought over hurt internet feelings?

    Maybe 1 or 2 out of 27 trillion e fights.
  7. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Joe rogan and bill burr put together good sets
  8. Archer513 African Astronaut
    She got her fix I suppose?

    How?

    Give details
  9. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Uncle Hershel’s breakfast from Cracker Barrel
  10. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Walk it off

    Rub a little dirt on that depression
  11. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Is rabbit code for pussy?
  12. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Originally posted by GGG That is not what I'm saying.

    I'm saying you don't know how ridiculous OP actually is. I'll just make a quick list of things I have personally seen while with her.

    -Getting out of a moving car while pregnant

    -Throwing what would have been her to be born baby's crib out into the yard during an argument with her husband. He did not have a crib even by his first birthday when I came back to visit.

    -Pulling a gun on me so she could kill herself in peace… twice. The second time I had already thrown out the bullets with her grandmother because we didn't want her having access to them, but she didn't know that and she didn't even check the gun. The first time I distinctly remember the phrase, "I don't give a fuck I'll shoot him through the fucking wall" (in reference to me, sipping on rum in my room and chilling on the computer to get away from their arguing)

    -Didn't want to go into Walmart to ask them if I could BORROW a gas can (not buy) at hydro's request, so she started ripping chunks out of her hair in the parking lot and screaming at the top of her lungs I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO FUCKING DIE OH GOD WHY CAN'T I JUST BE FUCKING DEAD. There were some cart boys collecting carts and I remember them stopping dead in their tracks to look. This is when I got out, got refused for a can (like I knew would obviously happen) so I bought one so we could get some fucking gas and leave already, and she got mad at me for buying the can.

    -Believes in a completely fictional deity she made up called Plantessi.

    -Tried to prostitute herself while in a relationship with me. Later did it while in a relationship with another member. Finally, she got in a relationship with a third NIS member who did not care about her prostitution, but evidently thought her crazy enough to ghost her while she was in surgery.

    -Named her kid some really crazy shit that I will not repeat, but it will probably fuck him up later in life unless he's really really hardworking like that Marijuana Pepsi girl who was in the news recently.

    -Gave birth at home in a metal trough filled with water and fed the placenta to her 12 dogs she had at the time.

    -Was in a relationship with a guy she knew molested a 6 year old girl. For ten fucking years. Even after he hit her across the head with a metal pipe and made her have a seizure. Even after he violently raped her, and continued to rape her. But all that said, they were equally as abusive towards each other. Literally everyone in her family was so obscenely toxic. I thought it was bad when I hitchhiked down the first time as I'd never seen anyone so casually yell like that at their spouse/father. Second time all hell broke loose and she showed me how crazy she really was.

    -Called the police and made them do a welfare check because she told them I had killed my mom. This was after I had told her I didn't want to talk to her anymore and stopped responding to her texts

    -One time she took a bunch of benzos and texted me a bunch of shit about how she wanted to die and "Goodbye because I'm going to do suicide by cop" and then just left me hanging the rest of the night.

    -Another time I dumped her and she tried to pull out her IUD with pliers and told me she was thinking about burning her cunt with lye so it doesn't have feeling because 'If I'm not having sex with you then I never want sex again." Obviously this was a massive fucking lie.


    But for what its worth, I do think she really needs opiates. Not heroin though. Nobody needs street heroin. She's got legitimate medical conditions though from being stupid and getting kicked around by horses and shit. I could seriously go on with the stories because there are tons of them. She went into big yelling matches at LEAST every other day, no exaggeration.

    She just needs a good man to fix her.


    Lolz
  13. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Some have the Kung fu grip

    And some are floppy caves

    Some are pretty

    Some look like they were in a knife fight

    “Pussy is pussy” is incorrect
  14. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny but tiny dicks is more conducive to survival in a harsh environmemt.

    tiny dicks are less likely to get mauled by beasts and get maimed in war and combat. and if you watch national geographic enough you'll see that the first place a majority of predators attack is the genitals because when animals lose their genitals, they give up their fight for survival and surrender because they know their lives are now futile.

    Benny and cockroaches is all that will be left..
  15. Archer513 African Astronaut
    I’m thinking he’s a drakkar kinda guy..
  16. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson oh wait..all these fucking years and it's not called camomile lotion, it's fucking calamine lotion.

    My entire life has been a lie.


    That’s the shit you put on chicken pox and poison ivy. Lol
  17. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Camomile lotion is really good for jock itch..very cooling and soothing. I probably wouldn't put hot camomile tea on my tackle though.

    Can you wack off with it too?

    Does it stay slippery or does it get all sticky?
  18. Archer513 African Astronaut
    I like it with a bit of milk before I go nite nite..
  19. Archer513 African Astronaut
    Maybe someday we can train this bacteria to only eat body fat 👍🏻
  20. Archer513 African Astronaut
    In the darkness of the community cave

    Grog knew to crawl for the fishy smell and away from the blue cheese smell..
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