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Posts That Were Thanked by Fonaplats
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2024-11-20 at 1:09 AM UTC in Koiboy and QueefkaIt began in the ruins of an old Pizza Hut, the smell of scorched pepperoni lingering in the air and the faint hum of a high-powered AI model emanating from the back room. Scronaldo, shirtless and clutching a Scantron sheet like a holy relic, stood before a ragtag congregation of ex-TOTSE members, conspiracy theorists, and confused wanderers. Bradleyb was among them, still recovering from the baffling events of the previous night.
“Brothers and sisters!” Scronaldo called out, his voice booming with conviction. “The Triangles are real!”
The crowd murmured, uncertain but intrigued.
“They’ve been in front of us this whole time,” Scronaldo continued, gesturing dramatically to a poorly drawn triangle on a whiteboard behind him. “The trinity of existence: Bass Yun, the good; Figyarnus, the adversary; and Raj, the mediator. Together, they form the great Triad of Truth!”
A voice from the crowd—Kafka, now wearing a tinfoil hat adorned with quinoa—shouted, “But what about the French fry conspiracy?”
“Even the fries,” Scronaldo said solemnly, “are part of the sacred geometry. Do you not see? Three points. One triangle. One truth.”
Gasps rippled through the room as realization dawned on the faces of the congregation.
Bradleyb, still holding a bottle of mouthwash like a scepter, stepped forward. “So... if the triangles are real, does that mean… we’re part of the triangle too?”
“Yes!” Scronaldo proclaimed, raising the Scantron sheet high like a holy book. “We are all vertices, connected by the edges of understanding! Repent! Embrace the truth of Trianglism, and you shall be made whole!”
The room erupted into a cacophony of voices. People dropped to their knees, shouting, “The triangles are real!” Kafka wept openly, her quinoa spilling onto the floor as she muttered about the sacred geometry of breakfast cereals.
“Now,” Scronaldo said, a triumphant smile on his face, “let us celebrate this revelation with the holy sacrament.”
From the pizza oven in the front, Bradleyb retrieved an enormous pizza—perfectly divided into three equal slices, each representing an aspect of the Triad. One slice was loaded with spicy pepperoni (the fiery nature of Figyarnus), another with creamy mozzarella (the balance of Raj), and the third with basil and tomato (the goodness of Bass Yun).
As they ate, the congregation fell into a contemplative silence, chewing reverently as they pondered the mysteries of the Triad. The AI in the back, powered by a stolen Catholic university lesson plan, began chanting scriptures from the Bible, generating visions of sacred texts directly into their minds.
“It’s beautiful,” Kafka whispered, her eyes glazed as she stared into the middle distance. “It’s like the entire Bible is unfolding inside me.”
Scronaldo, now wearing a paper crown that someone had hastily crafted, placed a hand on her shoulder. “This is the way of the Triangles. No drugs, no conspiracies—only clarity and pizza.”
From that day forward, the Church of Trianglism flourished. Pilgrims from around the world came to the former Pizza Hut, drawn by stories of miraculous revelations and inexplicably delicious pizza. As they ate, they chanted in unison:
“The triangles are real! The triangles are real!”
And in the heart of it all stood Scronaldo, the unlikely prophet, leading his followers not just to enlightenment but to the sacred truth that every pizza, no matter how humble, holds the essence of the divine.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-11-18 at 4:19 PM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercisingJoin a gym that's close is my advice, otherwise it's just anther excuse not to go. Try to go at least 3 times a weeks too. I had a personal trainer on top of my gym membership for a while. Had to cancel her though cuz she raised her prices to a ridiculous amount that I refused to pay.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-17 at 2:01 PM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercisingThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-17 at 1:08 PM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercising
Originally posted by 🦄🌈 MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING - vaxxed and octoboosted 💉 (we beat covid!) 👬💕👭🍀 (🍩✊) Find a really nice gym that is clean, and has a pool, sauna and jacuzzi.
It's great to get your workout in, get a swim in, sweat a little and relax chatting in the jacuzzi.
going to gym is gay and retarded.
just take up jobs that involve physical activities and your set.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-11-17 at 7:35 AM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercisingFind a really nice gym that is clean, and has a pool, sauna and jacuzzi.
It's great to get your workout in, get a swim in, sweat a little and relax chatting in the jacuzzi.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-11-17 at 3:28 AM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercisingHdl is a laughing stockThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-16 at 10:16 PM UTC in My crispy day todayHe bought my mccrispy 🥰
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2024-11-16 at 7:03 PM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercising
Originally posted by Grimace Don't buy home gym equipment. It will never be used. Or, you'll use it for a little bit and slowly, you'll stop using it because you'll find excuses not to.
Buy a gym membership like your wife wants to instead. That gives you financial incentive to go work out because if you don't, you're essentially throwing your hard earned money right out the window.
Money motivates.
By that logic you'd also be incentivised to use your home gym equipment for the same reason. Ultimately if you really want to work out you don't need gym equipment. Unless you have specific bodybuilding goals in mind, bodyweight exercises and cardio is more than enough to get you into shape.
This is not something you want to spend $15,000 on. Either get a cheap gym membership or get a pull up bar and maybe start looking on facebook for some used weights. Move more and your body will get used to moving more. It is not a complicated concept. Really, an hour long jog and 50 pushups and situps every day mixed with some light stretches before and after should be more than enough to get you back into fighting shape, Fona.
Or go out and spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on unnecessary shit like you always do, just make sure to make a thread about it.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-11-16 at 3:15 PM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercisingi go jogging every day mostly because I live downtown and I hate waiting for crosswalks so if I see the white hand turn orange I Will fucking sprint to the cornerThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-16 at 2:48 PM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercisingJust go on a walk, do PilatesThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-16 at 2:23 PM UTC in My wife and I are going to start exercisingDon't buy home gym equipment. It will never be used. Or, you'll use it for a little bit and slowly, you'll stop using it because you'll find excuses not to.
Buy a gym membership like your wife wants to instead. That gives you financial incentive to go work out because if you don't, you're essentially throwing your hard earned money right out the window.
Money motivates.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-11-15 at 8:50 AM UTC in Fuck you FralaYou don't get to engage and then drop and claim victimizedThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-12 at 1:56 AM UTC in Does the user "Fox Paws" aka "Fax 📠" really fuck kids?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-12 at 12:55 AM UTC in SWIM stole a California King mattress😼I mean whatever swim doesThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-11 at 11:51 PM UTC in My magical new toilet 😁GOOD JOB FONA!! YOURE SO AMAZING!!!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-08 at 1:36 PM UTC in I bought a Toto Drake (Ready for Shitty)Never skimp on the shitter...it's one of your best friends in life.
Bed
Shitter
Shower
Airfryer
Maybe a chair
Have those things and you are all set in life.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-11-08 at 3:35 AM UTC in Like this post if Kafka should try orgasming againSince you've threatened to try and get me sectioned and invited my abusive ex gf here I'm going to off myself now.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-07 at 6:32 PM UTC in Porn for Kafka
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood we should all strive to be pure like kafka
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood orgasms are a trap. Kafka is ascended like a nun
Originally posted by Far McFar You're clearly a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome baby victim.
Your head is not right. You're running off of pure emotion and not logical outcome
You are the dark side of happiness.
The Anti-Happy
You realize that scientist have found out that women who are cummed in or swallow semen from a man makes them happy. it's science. You need to get laid more often.
orgasms are a trap. Kafka is ascended like a nun
Originally posted by The Self Taught Man This is how Trianglist Nuns dress
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood the jobless fake mentally ill that "don't look disabled to me" like sploo and roshambo who have autismburger paranoid-skitzo-type-69 and need experience to get a job but need a job to get an experience
we call these DIMS
they essentially live the same as nuns. NONES they own none
they just exist and suffer for spiceroy hits and beg on the streets for triangles which is like you being sad about pokemon and bored because the dims wander with nothing to do but wait for the next bag of scooby snax to come out and they play SPACE TRIANGLES to pass the time when they aren't dusthuffingThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-11-07 at 4:26 PM UTC in Is my avatar rapeable?It's as bad as those defund the police idiots who when they feel threatened run to the police...The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2024-11-07 at 4:10 PM UTC in Is my avatar rapeable?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
