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Posts by GHOSTFACE
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2019-03-11 at 2:03 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionOh fuck.
Fuckkkk
I feel sick. -
2019-03-11 at 2 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionI mean whether he's dead or not is kind of irrelevant. I offered to meet in person, and he didn't want to. For me, he's really just a proxy for the hundreds of thousands of miserable people that just don't see a way out, and end up signing off permanently. And god knows I've felt like that. Shaking, sick, in my bed with a pillowcase that smelled like stale sweat and bile....not a single dollar to my name. The house dead silent after being screamed at for a solid hour. Staring at the same wall that I scratched little pictures into as a 10 year old.... I just felt like time had stood still and left me behind, and that the fucked up truth no one had ever bothered to clue me in on- is that it's very possible to make a series of decisions so devastating that there's no coming back from that. I bought a gun for the express purpose of killing myself. I knew when I finally worked up the courage, I needed to have it there, like a security blanket. I've posted the plan I worked out before.
I get it.
And it sucks that people can get that unhappy.
It's not about HIM really. It wouldn't be the first time someone faked some fucked up shit online. But it's kind of irrelevant.
Idk. I'm searching LA coroners records right now. Like I said I'm sure it'd be possible to figure out if anyone gave a fuck enough to take the time. Lanny,would you be able to pull IP addresses or some kinda hax? I thought it was Pomona, but even just knowing the exact city would help. -
2019-03-11 at 1:37 PM UTC in I just want all of my e- friends here to be amused and entertained...Gets my seal of approval.
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2019-03-11 at 1:36 PM UTC in A message to all the pigs hiding amongst us...Lol. We don't get discounts. Usually they're so extra nice though, that if I don't drop a dollar or two tip, I feel like an absolute asshole.
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2019-01-10 at 5:57 AM UTC in A Love Letter for Deaf Ears; Drenched in Salty Lonely Tears
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2019-01-09 at 6:44 PM UTC in If you can figure out which Motel 6 I'm at... then please call me in room 335...I wonder if we posess enough autism/broken dream to make this a reality?
I believe it you, fam. -
2019-01-09 at 5:26 AM UTC in If we were friends in real life and I had a chance to fuck your wife or girlfriend...How much for Karen?
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2019-01-09 at 5:24 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
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2019-01-08 at 10:58 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
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2019-01-08 at 9:59 PM UTC in It’s baby time
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2019-01-08 at 9:34 PM UTC in If we were friends in real life and I had a chance to fuck your wife or girlfriend...
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2019-01-08 at 9:33 PM UTC in If we were friends in real life and I had a chance to fuck your wife or girlfriend...When it comes down to situations like this, it's hard not to envision a chimp blowing loads at passerby from atop a tall rock.
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2019-01-08 at 9:27 PM UTC in It’s baby time
Originally posted by gadzooks Hey, as an experiment, you can try slipping an emoji into your kid's name… Even if it's just their middle name.
See if they let you.
https://niggasin.space/thread/32488
I mean I've heard of legal names such as "LA-A" (luh-dash-uh), so I don't seen a ton of reasons why you wouldn't be able to. -
2019-01-08 at 8:54 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionPhilander castille
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2019-01-08 at 8:53 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionPhilanderer
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2019-01-08 at 8:52 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionIt's not fair to pick on someone who's this high, it's like telling a retarded child to look at the sky and stealing their ice cream.
:harrumph: -
2018-03-15 at 11:01 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by NARCassist you should definitely start finding out as much as you can about this no good cunt now casper, in case you need it in future, its quite possible. especially find out if he's got family he cares anything about. threatening people like that is next to useless but threatening people he loves can often make them think.
also consider getting some strong fent off the darknet and go round there and offer him a bag of 'medium strength normal street heroin' to fuck off out of there, give him the gear then leave. shoulda done it while she was at the hotel last night, but while she's at work will do. cops ain't gonna give two fucks for an OD that has clearly injected himself, know what i mean?
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already have it. -
2018-03-15 at 6:54 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Oh. And since im sure inquiring minds want to know.... She says she hasnt slept with him in at least 6 months. He says shes fucking disgusting and doesnt even want to fuck her, but he still hangs around and causes trouble to try to extort drug money. Her doctor mother who is in town till today, made her go get tested and shes fine. Apparently a couple weeks ago, the junkie ex called her into the bathroom bc he couldnt hit his vein....and when she walked in he stabbed her in the wrist with a syringe full of dirty water. Seriously. Thats what kind of dude he is. According to her of course. I stopped dealing with him as soon as she texted me. But he definitely seems like a piece of shit all around.
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2018-03-15 at 6:39 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Ok so....
I mashed from work, got there like 10 min before they left. Was almost perfect timing. Shook her dads hand, gave her mom a hug. She looked fantastic in her dress. They left, I grabbed a towel from the car and we sat down on the beach for a few min by the Santa Monica pier until I said "I sure hope it doesnt start raining", and at that exact moment it started raining. The tide came in super quick and soaked her leggings and new shoes, so I carried her halfway to the car so she wouldnt have to walk barefoot through santa monica. Went back to the hotel since skeevy ex bf is still squatting in her apt again off and on. Made hot chocolate. Watched californication and cuddled in bed. She fell asleep on my chest a few times. We both agreed it feels like we've known each other a lot longer than we have. She took her dress off and stood there in her bra and panties and showed me all the scars from her surgeries, and the bruises from the ex. And i told her shes still gorgeous and all it means is that she's been through some serious bullshit and lived. But you could tell this was like major surgery. Anyway when she laid back down I just traced little circles on her back and stroked her hair, and finally i said "You know I cant exactly kiss you with your head all the way down there" and she said something to the effect of "If im weird sometimes about some stuff please dont hate me. Its not because i dont like you I really do. Just with all the stuff going on i dont want to rush into anything. Is it okay if we just do this? Because i kind of really like this?" And i said yeah absolutely. And like an hour later after a few beers and a couple key bumps, I ended up going home.
So all in all, things went pretty well. Im kinda glad I asked you fags. -
2018-03-15 at 6:20 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
Originally posted by Malice You remind me of myself, CASPER. I also feel like I've lost almost a decade of my life. I learned a lot and developed myself in many ways, but I also took incredible damage, broke down so badly, and things could have been so much better. I feel like a mostly empty shell of a human being at this point who's simply tired of being alive and has been for a long time, like the most important parts of my humanity, what would allow me to connect with others and thrive, have just been ravaged. What I ended up realizing the most is just how sad life really is.
I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for the kind of people I'd like to have in my life. That I'm so far behind, isolated, alienated, and different that I'm just destined to be alone and one of the loneliest people to walk the face of this earth. A lot of people end up changing dramatically and finally making it later in life, though. If you manage to become happy in the present, why does your past filled with suffering and sorrow matter? It helps you realize how good you have it when you compare it to your darkest moments.
The girl you were with a long time ago, the one you called your partner in crime, who ended up having a seizure and it just being unbearably sad to see what she had become. How badly did it hurt you?
I'm extremely oversensitive beneath my facade and I'm just incredibly easily and deeply hurt. I think I felt betrayed and rejected by a lot of people in my life and ended up becoming so alienated, was able to realize certain things about the nature of reality, that it made it feel impossible to ever relate and connect to anyone.
Was the pain of life, simple ordinary reality, so unbearable that you went down that path just to ease it? I nearly killed myself with alcohol about a year back for similar reasons and have had serious problems with drug addiction for the same reason, I just couldn't stand the way I, life, left.
Open up your heart and accept the pain that may come from other people, learn to be able to overcome it. We both know that if we just kept living our lives the way we had we would have ended up dead and that things were never going to get better, we always would have been profoundly miserable, unhappy, unsatisfied with our lives, and unfulfilled. It's the only way. Even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried, and you can always try again.
Yeah well maybe this will be some comfort to you that there are people out there willing to accept someone even as fucked up as i am.
Yeah the last girl i was with, it gutted me. seeing her unable to feed herself when i thought i was just taking us out on a fun date..... I managed to hold it together just long enough to walk her to the door and say goodnight, but as soon as I got to the end of her parents street I threw the car in park and started crying harder than I ever have in my life. Because i remember the way she was when i was 16. And i know that life isnt as simple as that, but I cant help but think if i hadnt been so eager to impress her and seem cool, just MAYBE if i hadnt given her some of my cocaine, maybe she wouldnt have become that self destructive. But it happened. I just.....I cant have shit like that ion my conscience anymore. Whether or not its my fault, I will MAKE it my f ault in my head.
Or my first gf, who barely smoked weed before we met. 3 1/2 years in, we're laying in bed late at night, and we've both nodded off at some point. And i wake up out of a deep sleep and shes laying next to me with her hand on my arm. It takes me a afew seconds bc im so high still, but theres something weird about being all under the toasty under the covers, and her hand being that cold. i think i poked her in the stomach and asked if she wanted me to grab another blanket. then finally I rolled over and even in the dark, in the Tv light something was just off. I try shaking her and thats when i really start freaking out. And i turn on the light and shes just really pale. Shes just barely breathing and im slapping her shaking her, trying to pull her out of bed and get her to the neighbor's- who was a nurse at the time. She ended up being fine after that night, but I just never want to feel like that anymore.