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Posts That Were Thanked by stare rape
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2018-09-11 at 5:39 PM UTC in I feel like the only one with no intent of affiliating with a gangyeah
I think it's this site that causes schizophrenia.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-11 at 4:27 PM UTC in Summer is overThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-11 at 11:11 AM UTC in Apparently even the communists are fed up with Islam in Sweden.https://www.rt.com/news/438019-sweden-election-tipping-point/
slate is garbage and has knowingly participated in defamation campaigns in the pastThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-11 at 10:16 AM UTC in In just a few several hoursThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-11 at 12:23 AM UTC in Russian Bomb EngineeringThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-11 at 12:03 AM UTC in Schizphrenia official thread
Originally posted by stare rape It can't be the official thread if it's misspelled in the thread title
But really, I know exactly how you feel. Really. I spent almost four years of my life hiding from people I thought were after me for things I'd posted online and done IRL while amassing an arsenal of weapons, ammo, medications, and survival gear. I had over $10,000 worth of it at one point. I spent a shitload of money on firearm training, had a gun club membership, and went to the range for hours three times a week.
Sometime in 2015, I said "fuck it. If there really is someone after me, let them come after me. We all die eventually anyway."
And from then on I was seemingly able to look at my condition from an objective point of view and realize that I was being ridiculous. Almost all of the things I had taken as "signs" were nothing more than coincidence, or people going about their business who happened to see me and look my way. Sometimes it was a hallucination, but now, somehow, I could tell the difference. Once in a while, i still find myself caught up in some delusion that somebody is after me, but I "snap out of it" much faster than I used to. It was like a switch had been flipped.
I thought it was the drugs at first, so I stopped taking them. I stayed mostly clean for three years, only taking Crouton and the occasional benzedrex. It's only recently that I've started on that shit again. Didn't seem to make much difference. Though the intensity of the paranoia was diminished, it was still there.
In July 2015, after getting extremely fucked up and telling everyone that was staying with me at the time that I was going to kill myself, I had some sort of "moment of clarity" and had myself committed (although they wrote "involuntary" on the paperwork)
I was diagnosed with depressive psychosis, but the "medicine" they gave me for it made it twice as bad, and I could barely get out of bed most days because it sapped every bit of motivation out of me while making me shake like a Parkinson's patient if I tried to sit still, something that still hasn't completely gone away. I tried to stop taking it but it resulted in a terrifying psychosis that was far worse than the original symptoms and ended up committed again, but I convinced them that it was the medication that had done it, and they tapered me off of it.
Then I find out schizophrenia (and mental illness in general) has a much higher rate of incidence among Native Americans than the general American population.
I've mostly accepted the fact that I've got some mental illness somewhere between OCD and schizophrenia, and that I will most likely be unable to tell the difference between fantasy and reality 20-30 years from now. Just look at a certain other poster here.
All that said, I still believe that there was a point in time that I was being watched, but I was involved in medium-level criminal activities at that point, it was probably just people making sure I was doing what I said I was going to do.
As of now, most of the weapons and such have been sold or confiscated, but I still have a lot of the survival gear, and feel like I could hold my own for quite a while if some sort of disaster or apocalypse were to happen.
I'm still very paranoid, and won't let anyone get close to me, but it's still much better than it used to be. I think I've hit the "ceiling of improvement" for my current situation and will have to change it to improve further.
I know I'm going to regret posting this, but there it is
TL;DR: I'm slowly losing my mind but at least I'm aware of it
That sounds a lot like what I have gone through
A few years ago, through meditation using marijuana and VR, I began to hack reality and was able to pull unlimited knowledge from some unknown source, maybe the akashic records.
I started thinking to myself, hey what if I use this ability to take down the government, what if I go even further and find a way to destroy this reality ... then I thought surely there would be some organism that oversees all the ongoing processes within this reality, it would notice me and try to stop me ... then I got to thinking maybe the government would tyr to stop me ... then I started thinking maybe it was their doing all along.
I would hear voices occasionally, and grow really paranoid thinking certain happenings were proof that they were on to me, sending agents out to monitor and fuck with me to try and demoralize me so I couldn't take them down.
I really honestly don't think I'm schizophrenic, I think I was just having a psychotic period from nonstop marijuana use for years, losing my grandparents and going from being a hikikomori since the age of 11 or 12 to starting to go outside and be around the fleshnet and humans so I'm not used to the variables that come with the chaotic outdoors, I'm used to everything being aspeptic and calculated, coming from living my entire life on the computer.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-10 at 2:27 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-10 at 1:51 PM UTC in Schizphrenia official threadDon't worry, bro. We love your crazy ass.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-10 at 1:23 PM UTC in Schizphrenia official threadTry living with it. That's no fun, either.
I don't have it (not sure if Lan still has the stupid wordenhancement up). I've done several tests. Though, I had some mad psychosis and from time to time I get really paranoid. I still believe that my neighbors think I spy on them. I'm pretty sure about it. I can't look out of my windows (irony, huh..) because of that. I really want to move away and start over somewhere else so I can be anti-social from the get go but I don't think I can be like that even at a new place. I just want people to leave me alone.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-10 at 12:02 PM UTC in Schizphrenia official threadNothing to be ashamed of really. It's good that you've been able to recover as much as you have, but the difficult question behind it is if you really do have a serious disorder, how much can you fight yourself and still expect to win?
I'm not going to try and offer any advice or anything, but good job on becoming somewhat functional again. Most people don't seem to be able to.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-10 at 10:59 AM UTC in Conflict Shitpile III - Diplomacy Defunct Edition
Originally posted by stare rape I can't fucking stand her. Every time she opens her mouth I just want to smack her and tell her to go back to the kosher deli and make sandwiches
She didn't seem too bad as SC governor. But she gets a job as an international diplomat and now she thinks she knows everything
I have a hard time telling whether she's actually convinced herself she's some kind of white knight or if she knows she's spouting absolute rubbish and is just in it for the money/power/etc.
She's being groomed as a presidential candidate, keep an eye out for that.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-10 at 9:01 AM UTC in Conflict Shitpile III - Diplomacy Defunct Edition
Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING 2.0 - The GMO Reckoning I feel like Turkey will make a grab for Syrian territory sooner or later.
I don't think they can or will, not blatantly anyway. Their future depends too much on co-operation with Russia, Iran and co - even Erdogan's smart enough to realise the New Ottoman Empire's no good if it collapses before it can gain any traction. Keeping terrorist elements on standby and protecting them from the Idlib op is extremely likely though.
And just now -
Nikki Haley rabbits on about how the Idlib op will be indiscriminate, schools, hospitals etc. will be targeted...
> US begins carpet bombing Deir Eizzor towns with white phosphorousThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-10 at 7:34 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attentioni threw an old man's computer in a bonfire and huffed the fumes through PVC tubing fell down busted my eye had to get stitches after shaving my eyebrows off on rubbing alcoholThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-09 at 6:13 PM UTC in jedis
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-09 at 5:11 PM UTC in I just wanna hang out with RisiR and mQ
Originally posted by -SpectraL The OP, "Grimace", is actually a notorious temple member by the name of panthrax.
This is true. The one, the only. The notorious. Thank you for the delightful introduction, Specs.
Originally posted by RisiR † Can we run over -SpectraL?
We will. As our car veers off the road, a lone elderly man steps in front of the car and says something faggy like, "Windows XP is the BEST opera----" before our car SLAMS into him and he rolls over the windshield at the same time all 3 of us are ejected from it, while stare rape slams hard in the trunk. As we all lie in the field, broken-bodied and bloodied, Spectral levitates off the ground and glides over each of us, one at a time, and within an inch of our twisted and mangled faces, he goes, "You don't scare me, kid" and when he delivered his punch line to the last of us, he goes to fly away before he strikes the electrical lines above and is burnt to a crisp and his charred and blackened body falls to the pavement where it explodes into a million little pieces.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-09 at 4:53 PM UTC in I just wanna hang out with RisiR and mQIf it was a turnip truck you'd only have to back over him since he just fell off itThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-09 at 4:20 PM UTC in I just wanna hang out with RisiR and mQHe's the lone survivor of the crash and the fire ant poison gave him super powers that he will use to fight the evil, big money jedis.
I like the story.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-09 at 4:15 PM UTC in I think my dog is dying ☹️The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-09 at 3:09 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionI don't hate you. We are just busting eachother's balls like friends do as far as I'm concerned. Sorry if I gave that impression.
If you shared something personal instead of the same old forum shit we have all heard a blingzillion times people would have an easier time connecting to you. I don't think anyone here hates you.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-09 at 2:30 PM UTC in Chimpout on the tennis courtI don't really mind Williams, but the way shitlibs are calling her brave etc. is cringe.
And they even booed the Japanese girl when the awards were being given, how fucked is that?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
