Posts by The Self Taught Man

1. 2015-09-19 at 3:51 AM UTC in The Dumpster Slut Thread
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   I'm better than this shit. I want mods to give me back my name within the next 12 hours or I will kill myself.

   There are no mods kill yourself.
2. 2015-09-19 at 3:49 AM UTC in A question for malice concerning rats
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Recently you mentioned superjeenius rats in Japan. And I mentioned the I raised rats. My question for you is as follows. I know you have severe psychological impairments. I know that your ability to socialize is subpar. I do not mention this to belittle you. I mention this as a matter of fact that you have stated. With the aforementioned in mind I would ask you this in regard to the possibility heavy breathing rats of of normal intelligence. Because it just occurred to me after interacting with one of the exceptional young silver males I have just bred and at a mere 3 weeks he exhibits exceptional intelligence. The reason I mention this is because I know you have limited emotional responses. And I am just asking do you possess any level of empathy. Because if you do not regardless of the intelligence level of any rat that you think you may want to raise you will never experience that intelligence. I await your sincere response.
3. 2015-09-19 at 2:57 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Wait.... Mark died? As in, Mark311xtc or whatever his handle was?
4. 2015-09-18 at 9:55 PM UTC in The Dumpster Slut Thread
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I'm better than this shit. I want mods to give me back my name within the next 12 hours or I will kill myself.
5. 2015-09-18 at 7:57 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I want to be the abusive father that was never there for you.
6. 2015-09-18 at 7:26 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Where's the heartfelt reunion?
   
   I actually did get around to ordering opium, although I don't think it will show up by now and Agora is still closed. Do you ever think the things you order are going to make a significant difference in your life? Drugs are more likely to do so due to their nature, but I don't delude myself and always know how things will end. I could drag on about why I'm as dysfunctional as I am, but I think you may be able to understand what drives putting off even relatively minor things for months, quickly losing interest in things, being discouraged, if the emotion could even be there, and losing any small momentum. There are very few things I know could realistically make a difference, and even then the feeling of hope, of excitement, looking forward to them, just isn't there due to the state I'm in. The same is true for you.
   
   Relevant to the above, read my comments here: http://niggasin.space/forum/half-baked/25491-i-m-half-way-into-the-6th-hour-of-a-conference-call-and-drunk-as-shit#post25913
   
   You could help us out and mail us some of that sweet black tar. I know you've done it before, and I remember that you either never or rarely succeeded. Did you use moisture barrier bags and make sure there was not a trace of residue on the outside? Vacuum sealing and other techniques, like placing it inside candles, peanut butter, coffee etc. are for noobs and don't work properly. This has been the standard top quality technique for darknet vendors for a while. It's okay, we're cool here, this place is so low key no one's watching it.
   
   You could help us treat our depression, general and social anxiety, and anhedonia, and Lanny's, ah, pain that comes from accepting he's just going to be another generic yuppie, lost in life and unfulfilled, the last two of which also apply to myself.
   
   Seriously Casper, you know if anyone can handle it it's me. It could at least put me in a position where I could work towards a more sustainable alternative. And there actually are methods to make long-term opioid use far more sustainable, which you should have been using.
   
   http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/62247-reversing-opioid-tolerance/
   http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/79731-is-opiate-tolerance-permanent/
   
   Proglumide and ULDN, ultra low dose naltrexone. Do you remember that thread on Zoklet where I posted what was essentially a gut only version of naloxone/naltrexone? Did you ever buy it? Of course not, you pathetic pansy. You waste money like a retired playboy on things you barely, if ever use, and fleeting pleasures you can barely feel, then you complain about your fucked up hick truck and not being able to afford medical insurance, living in a hoarders room with your mother, all while having one of the most absurd expenditures on an addiction you can find. You were already doing insane amounts of heroin, had multiple health problems due largely to your own actions, and then you go on a generic option to wean off, methadone, that isn't even particularly effective or safe, and you whine about not wanting to try my recommendations because you don't want to be a "guinea pig".
   
   *slaps you upside the head* The hell's wrong with you? Forget PoC, I want to be the abusive father that was never there for you. Even I, in my pitiful state, can manage to avoid unnecessary spending and save money for things of importance, try some cutting edge treatments before completely falling apart.
   
   Ah, feeling so tired, tired to your soul, weary of life and apathetic, that you can't even communicate like you used to, one of the most basic human actions. Read things of considerable length, write a few pages. And what does that do? Your basic ability to help yourself and ask others for help, reach out to people for information and favors when it would so much to just have someone striving along with you on the same path to recovery, finally digging yourself out of this hell, this slow unrelenting death, and making something of yourself.
   
   Remember how during our last months on Zoklet you noticed that we would arrive at the exact same conclusions, write the exact same things we would have told other people, had the same ideas, thought processes? Why is that? It's because there are paths few can see, ideas most haven't considered and can't grasp. The things you've experienced, read and thought, how your mind has been molded, how you've developed it yourself. The fundamental mental architecture of logic and reasoning. A simple definition for general intelligence can be the ability to deal with complexity. You've mentioned you have, or had, an unusually good memory, although not to the extent of my autistic rain man/perfect recall level, this also helps, because you need knowledge, specific data, as well as processing power. You see the best, optimal, path to victory. The solutions.
   
   You know how rare it is to find someone like you, that can really understand you, is IRL. How wonderful would it be to have someone you could talk to about anything, who would understand and be able to follow anything you brought up without a problem? You could share your ideas, plans, hopes and dreams, have feedback from each other, help each other develop.
   
   Think about this. If you were to be completely honest about two things, what percentage of people do you think would automatically be driven away?
   1.) I use _ grams of heroin a day, spend $ X a month on my habit.
   2.) I sell _ ("antiques") for a living.
   
   Even if they weren't flat out driven away, how would it change how they felt about you? Imagine a room full of hundreds of people, representative of the general population, all their eyes are on you. Would they want their sons and daughters to be friends with you? Daughters to love you? How much of a monster would they have to see you as to not even feel safe having their young children around you?
   
   You can tell yourself it shouldn't matter, but that doesn't change that to them it does. Rationalize hiding it, but if it were ever revealed, even after years of developing a relationship, everything you'd built together, how many would leave you over it? It may not seem significant to you, you may think it shouldn't matter, that it doesn't define you, but clearly to them it does. Now tell me: What does that say about them?
   
   But here, this isn't simply a family style intervention where we tell you we'll always love you, can accept any part of you, no matter what. Generic lines that are to expected. Look into my eyes Casper. We're the same. You know that I look down on you for it, that I don't view it as others do, and that's because I don't have to try, I don't have to force myself away from a natural reaction, this is simply the way I genuinely see things, I see things the way they are. I have no respect for laws and governments, no concern for the simplistic morality of the masses, the logical fallacies and cognitive biases, the emotionalism, that pervade the very structure of who they are. And you know it's true because of everything I said (named "realest nigga here" by Bipolar High Roller/LLL/1337), what I've done and am willing to do. I would smoke heroin right alongside with you, smuggle kilos, rob an armored van, even kill.
   
   How wonderful would it be to have a friend and stop feeling so alone and lost in the world?

   For a guy who claims to avoid social interaction you sure type a lot.
   
   tl/dr: tl/dr
7. 2015-09-18 at 7:24 PM UTC in A young nigga got it bad cause I'm brown
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   [SIZE=72px]FUCK ARNOX[/SIZE]

   This, mostly because he's is still lurking here and too butthurt over his catastrophic failure as an admin to eat crow and just shitpost with the rest of us.
8. 2015-09-18 at 7:15 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   shut the fuck up
9. 2015-09-18 at 6:57 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Lol no, it ended in the 8th hour. Got to enjoy waking up at 6 again this morning as well for another, although this one only went for 5 hours. Fun stuff. Wonder what tripping on a business call would be like.

   Shrooms, and do it on shrooms and video record it.
10. 2015-09-18 at 6:42 PM UTC in The End is Here
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    The 70th Jubilee… 70CE… seven weeks of years… sevens… the number of completeness and perfection. 9/23.

    9/23=0.39130434782=number if teeth in your mouth=number of times you almost been right about any of your metal head doomsday predictions.
11. 2015-09-18 at 6:38 PM UTC in A young nigga got it bad cause I'm brown
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    C'mon, Darkie. I know you chuckled.

    No, really, I just kind of mentally groaned.
12. 2015-09-18 at 6:37 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Hey, wait, is Lanny still stuck in this call? If so he's gotta be absolutely shit faced by now.
13. 2015-09-18 at 6:34 PM UTC in Name Any Topic
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    List off the handles of all your alt accounts, and then discuss each one, and how they came to be.

    Please make your own thread on that topic and I will happily work your inability to eat corn of the cob into the conversation.
14. 2015-09-18 at 6:32 PM UTC in Serious Question for SpectraL & Alts
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Leave RiseR out of this.

    The topic is a cue ball and your toothless yap. So I have to agree, leave RisiR out of it.
15. 2015-09-18 at 6:05 PM UTC in Hypothetical surefire ways to suicide
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    the charcoal grill thing is a sure-fire ticket to hell
    
    didn't the guy from the band boston do himself in that way?

    
    
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Court Documents Recount ‘Embarrassing Incident’ That Preceded Boston Singer’s Suicide[/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=13px] [/SIZE] [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Last week, we told you about a nasty lawsuit filed by Boston guitarist and leader Tom Scholz against the Boston Herald, in which Scholz says the paper implied he drove the band’s lead singer, Brad Delp, to commit suicide in 2007.
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Now the Boston Globe reports documents filed in the case reveal a messier, sadder, and far more tabloid-esque story than the one that’s already been told.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px] [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Previously, friends of Delp’s told the court about a tense relationship between the singer and Scholz, with former Boston member David Sikes saying Delp “didn’t like Tom and didn’t trust Tom. He felt that Tom had taken advantage of him financially, especially.” Delp’s friend Joy Baker also testified, “Brad just could not stand one more minute of feeling like he could not stand up for himself or do the right thing, if you will, in any aspect of his life, because he was so afraid… he would run from confrontation and I think he was just beaten down by the years of dealing with Tom Scholz.”
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]For his part, Scholz denied the claims and said “an extremely upsetting and embarrassing incident” between Delp and a close friend is actually what drove the vocalist to take his own life. And now we know what the incident involved. (We apologize in advance if you feel the need to bathe after reading this.)
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Seems Delp was engaged to a woman named Pamela Sullivan, and her sister Meg was Delp’s roommate for more than two years. Meg described him as her “best friend,” so she was horrified when she discovered a battery-operated hidden camera in her bedroom — a camera Delp later admitted to planting.
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Meg and her boyfriend, Todd Winmill, confronted Delp, and emails show he was incredibly contrite and apologetic, saying, “I feel sick about this, and deservedly so … I want to try and make you understand that I consider myself a decent person who made a dreadful error in judgment … I acted out of some impulse that is still not completely fathomable to me.”
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Delp also said an affair that Pamela (his fiancee and Meg’s sister) had the summer before had left him traumatized, adding, “Maybe the emotional roller coaster that I was on … has in some way something to do with what possessed me to do such an irrational and out of character thing.”
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Meanwhile, Pamela didn’t know about the camera incident, and Winmill told Delp that he himself should be the one to tell her, writing in an email, “It is because of [Meg’s] regard for you that she has given you this opportunity to tell Pam yourself.”
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Delp promised he would, but he asked for a few days to do so. It was during that time period that he bought the charcoal grills he’d eventually light in a sealed bathroom, letting the carbon monoxide overtake him and end his life. Pamela found his body on March 9, 2007.
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]It’s this incredibly tragic story that Scholz says pushed Delp to commit suicide — not his own relationship with the singer.
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Still, in the notes Delp left behind, he apologized to Meg and her boyfriend and said they were not to blame for his death, writing, “I have had bouts of depression and thoughts of suicide since I was a teenager … [Pamela] was my ‘ray of sunshine,’ but sometimes even a ray of sunshine is no substitute for a good psychiatrist.
    [/SIZE][/FONT]
    
    
    [FONT=Roboto][SIZE=12px]Read More: Court Documents Recount ‘Embarrassing Incident’ That Preceded Boston Singer’s Suicide | http://ultimateclassicrock.com/brad-delp-suicide-lawsuit/?trackback=tsmclip[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=13px]
    
    Yup [/SIZE]
16. 2015-09-18 at 6:03 PM UTC in Slim jesus - drill time
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRo48zg2iyU
17. 2015-09-18 at 5:55 PM UTC in TDR's opinion objectively doesnt hold value
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    You can delete your own posts.

    I think you should test that 990 times in row to make sure it wasn't a fluke.
18. 2015-09-18 at 5:51 PM UTC in Serious Question for SpectraL & Alts
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Now it's about time we got back on topic. So about that cue ball...?
19. 2015-09-18 at 5:50 PM UTC in New fonts
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    here we fucking go again with the 'quality posting' and 'temple of knowledge' bullshit
    
    
    you can't force things to happen, people, they just happen, and totse is never going to happen again so stop crying and get over it already

    You what's fucked you are almost as big of an asshole as me. But I just can't fuck with you when your right.
20. 2015-09-18 at 5:47 PM UTC in A young nigga got it bad cause I'm brown
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Police aren't so bad if you cook 'em right.

    
    It's almost kind of sad when you post something you think will be funny, almost.