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Posts That Were Thanked by mso8
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2018-03-17 at 4:46 AM UTC in Fuck shit up on reddit?shut the hell up dumbassThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-03-02 at 1:35 AM UTC in Why do women talk to me if they're not going to flirt with me? Fuck off bitches.Man, you make Elliot Rodgers look like fucking Leonardo DicaprioThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-28 at 8:53 PM UTC in Libertarian Police DepartmentI was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him. -
2018-02-28 at 3:29 PM UTC in In 472 days...
Originally posted by Speedy Parker … SpectraL has made 27,558 posts for an average of 58.38559322 posts per day. That is 2.4327330508 posts per hour or 1 post every 24.66361855 minutes.
These numbers represent a scenario where he hasn't slept in 472 days. So let's assume he sleeps an average of just 6 hours per day. This would mean his average posts per hour would be 3.2436440678 or 1 post every 18.497713912 minutes for 472 days.
While this is sinking in I have serious question. How do you think he does it? I mean is he rich like captain failfag with no irl friends or something else?
Discuss…
you need to get out moreThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-23 at 9:14 AM UTC in I really want to start dating a girl. :(You'd be begging her for sex after one dayThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-20 at 11:15 AM UTC in What the fuck happened?Pretty in Pink Molly Ringwald
Motha Fuck'n Erkle
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2018-02-19 at 11:48 AM UTC in does anyone else feel like there's a black storm cloud over them 24/7
And to directly answer your question yes usually and it sucks majorly. Forever a sad boi clique.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-18 at 11:56 AM UTC in The worst thought everokay, that wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be.
.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-17 at 11:20 PM UTC in When I was a kid, I had a crush on a stick figure.
I need a Misato gf :(The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-06 at 6:35 PM UTC in To rid people of debtJessie....
JamesThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-04 at 8:16 AM UTC in I'm sick of everyone telling me that girls are actually into me.If you become the next perfect gentleman, do post some vlogs before hand.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-28 at 12:51 PM UTC in When I was in 6th grade, we did swimming, and one of the adult instructors...The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-28 at 11:14 AM UTC in Post in this thread and I'll assign you the Simpsons character you most resemble.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-28 at 5:12 AM UTC in I have perfected lucid dreaming.
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2018-01-27 at 8:35 AM UTC in anyone here ever have to try to not look so gangster?I gotta get off this websiteThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-25 at 11:16 PM UTC in I sneezed in a public placeyou responded correctly, fuck that personThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-21 at 9:24 PM UTC in What's more gayThis thread.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-16 at 7:22 PM UTC in Are there any bands better than pink floyd?King CrimsonThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-15 at 3:52 PM UTC in What is one unusual thing that only you do?Around my hometown...probably pay my bills on time.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-01-15 at 8:18 AM UTC in Post your earliest memoryIt involved my uncle and herpes. I don’t speak of that day.
