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Posts by aldra
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2020-10-29 at 5:04 PM UTC in Name things you can't give a niggerWhat's black and white and red all over?
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2020-10-29 at 3:30 PM UTC in Videogame musicman I loved that game
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2020-10-29 at 3:14 PM UTC in what is wrong with me
Originally posted by Sudo Don't worry I already reported that fakepoast. Don't let him guilt you. Just compare yourself to yourself and no one else.
I think he was just looking for something that might help and I appreciate the attempt, at least.Also, reading about your father was interesting but really only a tertiary topic. I remember you said he was pretty affected by the "unfortunateness" in Vietnam and a funeral would clearly manifest that explosively.
Short version is he had a very short fuse and took it out on my mother and I (my brother to a lesser extent - when he 'came out' my dad was unsurprised, said he'd always been less hard on him because he was 'soft'), so there was always a lot of screaming and up. I later understood that he'd seen and done things that'd very likely damaged him.
That funeral (mother's father) was a few years after they separated, and he lashed out because he felt like he didn't belong and nobody was helping him. It felt exactly like what it used to when I was a kid and he'd go ballistic, except this time I was more angry than scared. -
2020-10-29 at 2:46 PM UTC in what is wrong with me
Originally posted by Technologist What made you so detached? It sounds like a coping mechanism.
Was there one big thing that made you detach yourself from things/people around you, and then you just use it as a protective measure?
Do you have to leave some “mark” on society to feel fulfilled?
No matter what our difference of opinions are, you are a worthwhile person.
1 & 2. I am not ignoring this post, I was just thinking of a way to answer it. If I knew that there was a single concrete thing that drives a wedge between me and 'happiness', more accurately 'fulfillment' then this would be easier.
3. The question isn't so much as whether I need to 'make a mark' - realistically most people won't, outside of their offspring and resulting family tree. The thing that concerns me is whether it's even possible for me to do something that makes my life worth having taken place. I despise hedonism as an ideal and I feel like it'd be very selfish for me to start getting women pregnant - it seems very much like an attempt to alleviate my own ennui and negativity, only to thrust it on someone else. -
2020-10-29 at 2:36 PM UTC in what is wrong with me
Originally posted by Obbe -snip-
Mr. Rogers?
I don't mean to be totally dismissive, but I do not believe people to be fundamentally good and I do know that the news plays up the negative. It doesn't change the fact that even the 'best' people are fully capable of horrific acts and gives me no inspiration. -
2020-10-29 at 2:29 PM UTC in Videogame musichow could I forget Risk of Rain, one of my favourites ever:
also this track from Nuclear Throne even though I'm not a rap fan:
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2020-10-29 at 11:20 AM UTC in Bukkake should be spelt bukaki100% LOGICAL
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2020-10-29 at 7:03 AM UTC in Random Thoughtsthere's an epic craze
it's the end of days
and only blood has the taste we crave -
2020-10-29 at 6:27 AM UTC in what is wrong with me
Originally posted by Zanick so you don’t just shut out strangers, but you also deprive the people who love you of knowing what you carry; that it’s so bad, it makes you want to die, & you don’t want their help.
this is... I think I know what I was trying to say but did it poorly. It's something that I've never tried to put into words because I don't want to risk other, better-adjusted, people starting to think the same way.
To me there are barely visible strands between the most abhorrent crimes and everyday people. It's easy to wave away criminals as 'bad people' who are different, especially when it comes to the most depraved crimes, but actually considering their motivations and how they justify their acts to themselves allows you to see similarities in the thought processes of others. Or yourself.
The best example I can give are related to sex drive - everyone has their desires that they're biologically compelled to pursue to varying degrees - most people are unable to live an ascetic lifestyle; their impulses are too strong and they aren't able to find a reason to summon the strength to fight them (not that they should be expected to).
If you understand the strength of your own sexual desires, do you think they'd be any easier to control if you were a child molestor, a rapist, or some sort of extreme sadist? Would you be capable of the same things, if only your desires were different?
There are two specific instances that I've made the mistake of researching in the past that I don't think I'll ever be able to get out of my head - not so much because they're in any way interesting, but because I don't believe in good and evil. I don't see the perpetrators as fundamentally any different from most people, and yet they've committed some of the most vile and disgusting acts I've heard of.
It makes me feel as though we're irredeemable on the whole. -
2020-10-29 at 5:58 AM UTC in what is wrong with me
Originally posted by Ghost farming yams sounds pretty chill
Being able to enjoy simple basic things like taking care of animals or plants is a nice feeling and even if you're severely depressed and suicidal, it's a nice distraction.
Because when you're doing something like gardening or playing with cats you usually aren't thinking about negative shit the entire time when you can just focus your brain on something even if it's just some bullshit that doesn't matter. It's hard to fill up an entire day or weekend like that though
stupid normies seem to have no problem and their entire life is distracted by social things. If you aren't a very social person or have a lot of hobbies or interests it can be hard
I have a thousand projects and books I've started but not finished -
2020-10-29 at 5:57 AM UTC in what is wrong with me
Originally posted by mmQ 1. Why haven't you seen your dad in a long time? Do you remember the last time you did? Do you talk to him or text him or anything at all? When did your parents separate? Do you feel responsible?
2. I never called you a psychopath. Did I?
3. What is THE EUROMAIDEN? I am dumb. Just tl;dr it for me in a sentence or two. Did you graduate high school? Is their kindervarden through 12th grade there or is it different?
4. Do you think it's our purpose to have purpose? Do you feel like theres something you could do that would achieve said purpose that you feel is lacking in your life?
5. Hate crimes.. that's fine. Im probably on board. I still want to know WHERE and more specifically WHY. as I am federal agent. Are you a Stephen paddock or a school shooter or just want to really fuck one single persons world up? Who are we hating and why?
1. I didn't have a particularly good relationship with him growing up. I resented him a lot at the time, but later understood better that he had his own problems and was at least able to keep us fed. The last time I saw him was at my grandfather's funeral - afterwards he got real mad over nothing and started screaming at my girlfriend so I punched the side panel of his van in and told him it'd be best if he didn't come back.
2. the implication being that you'd have to have a similar trait to not care what those people think
3. The riots in the Ukraine, the US coup, and how it's now a failed state.
4. I don't think I have any real, inherent value, so it doesn't matter what purpose I try to make for myself. Believe it or not I try to help others who need it, but it feels like a contradiction because I don't think it matters whether they succeed or not.
5. Wasn't really a serious answer, and I'm not going to talk about this because I don't need orderlies AND the federal police turning up at my apartment. I will say though that I find it interesting how many people feel 'crushed' by the world around them choose to go out quietly, rather than taking up their grievances with those responsible. Even 'terrorists' typically just make a lot of noise, rather than seeking an audience with the people responsible for their misery. -
2020-10-29 at 5:03 AM UTC in Was it a mistake to let women vote?yup
cuck island 2: the recuckening -
2020-10-29 at 4:31 AM UTC in Was it a mistake to let women vote?I usually don't vote at all and just eat the fine, but if I do I vote for the most far-from centre parties I can find
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2020-10-29 at 1:12 AM UTC in Videogame music
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2020-10-28 at 10:47 PM UTC in Jesus may have been a Socialist
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2020-10-28 at 10:46 PM UTC in what is wrong with me
Originally posted by infinityshock lovingly allowed lard-ass lanny the luxury of lapping the loins-leviathan while the little lad larps as a laotian ladyboy lapdancer---.-.-.---------------.----.----------.-.-.-.----.----------------------.-.---.----.--------------=--(banned) sounds like bidens daughter
you should unrepress is. share it with the world.
off topic, but http://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1603673438846.jpg -
2020-10-28 at 10:45 PM UTC in what is wrong with mewill respond properly soon
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2020-10-28 at 10:43 PM UTC in I hope you all are prepared for my massive red waveif Trump actually convincingly loses he should do a concession speech in blackface
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2020-10-28 at 10:38 PM UTC in what is wrong with meif I did get molested at some point I've repressed it pretty well
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2020-10-28 at 10:35 PM UTC in Google, Facebook, and Twitter testify before the senate today.oh good, more non-answers from a reptile being asked by old men who have no idea what they mean
