2023-03-07 at 12:39 AM UTC
in
I wish I wasn't me.
Rather than celebrate with a tall boy, I realized i should take this as an opportunity to change. I haven't had a cigarette or drink since. Sometimes I get cravings really bad but I just let em go through me like a bad meal.
This time I'm not in rehab, not on probation, not really shit externally motivating me, not in sober living housing or trying to meet anyone's standard.
For the first time I set it all down because I wanted to rather than because I had someone making me and I think I'll find a lot more success doing it out of self interest than I did out of FEAR.
2023-03-07 at 12:33 AM UTC
in
I wish I wasn't me.
I pretty much had resigned myself to the fact I was 29 and caused major damage to my heart through alcohol and drugs, which would mean I'm not long for life and that's that.
When they gave me maylox or however it's spelled and the "aching, constant chest pain" went away within minutes they said bro u got minor acid reflux, it's not the bottom of your heart that's fucked it's the absolute top of your stomach, you're fine.
I was very happy to not be dying but they ran tests anyway and said my one liver enzyme was slightly high most likely because I was a .27 (and not that drunk) and had been drinking.
2023-03-07 at 12:29 AM UTC
in
I wish I wasn't me.
Also I had many tests run on me and nothing is wrong with my heart or body sides acid reflux caused by my love of hot sauce and warm malt liquor
I believe he died before she did
2023-03-07 at 12:27 AM UTC
in
I wish I wasn't me.
Hell yeah I haven't had a drink since the first. Sometimes I shake a lot and my nerves might be a little fried but I really do believe it's better to solve this issue then wallow in a dysfunctional life as an alcoholic.
Southside like Mexico
Northside like Africa (which I know is not a country)
The East side kinda like a swanky uptown New York City (which I know is not a country)
And the west side where I most belong is like a run down Eastern bloc nation.
Self segregation is rampant but we all get along really well and frequent each other's company happily.
Yeah and tons of minorities bruh it's awesome.
Everyday is like visiting 4 countries
What would you guys think is good to read??? If this has more than 2 people (other than me) well do it.
2023-03-07 at 12:12 AM UTC
in
All whites should be killed
Hell yeah they call me the vanilla gorilla on my block
All animals desire diversity, it produces mutts that are distinctly better than both mother and father typically shirking undesirable or non advantageous genes.
I went to Milwaukee public school.
Laying in a real bed thinking about my life and all it's ups and downs so far
2023-03-07 at 12:06 AM UTC
in
All whites should be killed
I am? Or is this a generation based on a handful of people you've encountered?
Have you considered your role in these interactions?
I don't post much when I'm drinking and having an adventure in far off lands mostly because I'm pretty close to a lunatic on the loose.
Then when I dry out I find the vitriolic banter on this site to be some what mentally taxing.
Plus when I'm sober it's clear like half of you hate me and I feel kinda unwelcomed here so I don't often visit. But my curiosity to see what's new with those I like and those I don't like keeps me returning periodically.
