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Posts by Bradley
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2015-11-09 at 3:02 AM UTC in Strange things are happeningI think it's a clover brought in from all the leprechaun-dressed midgets you fuck in your living room nightly.
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2015-11-09 at 3 AM UTC in why is the pot illegal? yet drugs like ciggies and alcohol are???~While you make a great point and fully articulate your assertion in a manner that is not only convincing but also deeply compelling, I don't think anyone will give a shit.
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2015-11-09 at 2:56 AM UTC in BradleyB's Old School Runescape ThreadAnd you can be my friend and we can go into the Blue Moon Inn in Varrock and work on our roleplay levels if that's cool.
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2015-11-09 at 2:53 AM UTC in BradleyB's Old School Runescape ThreadPlay OSRS it's content added but still the same gameplay you loved before Jagex ruined it.
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2015-11-08 at 9:05 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadWe'll it's been about a week. Things are going really good, I've gone to meetings every single day and continue to read the texts. I'm really starting to like my life and things are really turning up.
I got on BadgerCare (Free state insurance) and Food Stamps. So I'll be going to the doctor tomorrow to begin treating my arthritis. My situation with my ex still isn't good, I try to talk to her about my stuff but she just dropped shit off and wanted to leave right away, I accepted that.
Something ironic, I feel like my homosexuality left me somehow. I'm sexually attracted to women physically a lot more than I used to be and only watching heterosexual porn here and there. I still don't feel comfortable opening myself up to another person for the terms of physical intimacy, but I'm beginning to become more interested. I don't know why I'm so weird in that regard, just lonely and know I'd catch some feelings. I'm going to work on that, thinking if I were to find a new girlfriend I'd want her to look like this:
Someone in AA would be cool, they'd understand me a little better I think.
Something that really touched me is my sponsor's son is a junkie and finally went into inpatient treatment. After only knowing me a week and seeing how well I've done he asked me if I'd be willing to buddy up with his son when he go tout. That meant a lot to me. I think this program will take me far.
Last night I went to a Young People's meeting called Pizza not Perfection. There was a beautiful woman there who led the reading and opened for the meeting. They asked who'd be willing to start with a reading next week and give their thoughts on it to open the discussion next Saturday night. After no one volunteered for about a minute I raised my hand so I get that to look forward to for next week.
Things are really going better in my life.
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2015-11-08 at 8:53 PM UTC in BradleyB's Old School Runescape ThreadSo my accounts going good. I've leveled combat enough to where I can wear Rune Armor and wield a Rune Schimitar. I'm going for 60 attack so i can begin using dragon weapons.
My quest points stand at 87 and I'mma do two here in a little bit. Really knocking out my Runescape goals.
Taking my levels up a bit as well:
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2015-11-05 at 8:56 PM UTC in LittlestNiggerRigged Pumpkin Bong (OR Happy Halloween Faggots 420blazeitErrday)This was awesome, i like how you didn't gut the pumpkin like I expected. How did it taste?
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2015-11-05 at 8:15 PM UTC in Anyone know any good spice vendors?This is relevant to my interests.
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2015-11-05 at 6:36 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
I went to my first AA meeting about two weeks ago on a Thursday at noon. When I pulled into the church no one was there but as I approach the church there is an elderly man in his late sixties sitting by the entrance smoking a cigarette. He asks me if I'm here for court to which I confirm his suspicions. After the casual cit chat and exchanging names we go down a spiraling staircase into the basement. Soon after this tall black guy of a comparable age and about 80 pounds overweight joins us. The elderly man reads some shit about "being powerless" and I'm asked to read something about improving our lives and being powerless again and God being the only answer blah blah blah. He passes this wooden basket around for collection and about this time yet another old man comes in. He's horrifically ugly with disfigured eye sockets and nose wearing a Sturgis tee. Automatically I just don't like this guy. He starts talking about how many people go through these meetings court ordered and only want their papers signed and they don't care about the program. He isn't aware that's why and the only reason I'm there. He goes on to tell us about his parents being alcoholics and how as a baby he would sip his parents left over beer. He flaps on for what seems like an eternity and eventually I just have to tune him out also figuring I wouldn't get much of a response even if I did have something to say. The black guy then talks about having a dream about being at his favorite bar with all his friends and ordering a tall beer mug of straight Jack Daniel's black and not being able to lift it so in a last resort he just sticks his face into it and sucks it up like that.
The "chair person" who I had met first tells us how his life has been such a struggle and how much this program has helped him stay sober. The remainder of the meeting is spent by the three senior citizens demonizing alcohol and how none of us can get through addiction without the Holy Jesus and AA meetings. After the meeting is over I'm ecstatic that it's ended and GTFO as fast as humanly possible. I have 8 of these instances so far, and 16 more to go starting around Christmas. If you want to know more I'll try to write it all out but until then I suppose do it if it works for you but personally I can't fucking stand any of it.
My AA meetings are alot different. I typically go to morning ones and it's alot of AA people, I don't know if the city it's in has anything to do with it, Mequon is pretty rich.
The majority of them are old because who has off at 11am on Thursday morning? They seem well put together. A fraction of them have physical impairment which may or may not be from drinking/drugging.
Most people don't tell retarded ass stories, some do. Most of it is help to get you to understand where they've been and how they recovered. I try to take something from every speaker.
I can relate to the nigger you brought up trying to drink the mug and not being able to pick it up. I have occasionally had dreams where I have a big cup of ice cold vodka (i store mine in my freezer and sometimes drink it straight, favorite way to drink it if it's quality vodka). I can smell it, I can feel the rumbling in my belly, my mouth is watering but as soon as it touches my tongue, I'm craving the burning sensation, it turns to warm water :/ Fucks me off and makes me want to drink. So I see where he's coming from.
Alot of people push Jesus, I don't say the Lord's Prayer at the end because I worship the Alfather Odin. No one cares or has even mentioned it. Sometimes I use the term God when discussing my story because I can't be fucked to explain to a bunch of middle age recovering alcoholics the glory and the power of Odin. Example I said today 'Before the program I wasn't much use to anyone, I wasn't able to help myself, how could I help anyone else? Now that I found the program I like to help people and be a better person, I sense how God is using a conduit of me to help my fellow man in forms of divine intervention. I haven't done much noteworthy but even something as simple as calling someone to talk about sobriety, or sharing in AA, or doing the housework I would have never done makes me feel better. I think God will let this grow till I become a greater asset to my fellow man." Now yall and I know this is Odin, but I feel it's more helpful to them if I say God/Higher Power.
P.S. Not shitting on you, but I also hate people that are only there because they're court ordered because they tend (not saying you) to be distracting pieces of shit who can't wait to get out of there and have no sense of fellowship and want nothing better than to just leave and sit there making everyone feel self conscious. That's why I don't go to classes for drug rehabilitation that are court ordered. No one at the meetings I'm going to is getting anything signed.I would recommend Crouton, but you are immune to opiates.
Fuck Crouton. 1) It's illegal in Wisconsin now. 2) I for some reason felt a stimulant effect from it. 3) Fuck Crouton. -
2015-11-04 at 5:54 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
AA is fucking top-tier cringe. Oh sure you might get the little feel-goods from having other faggots to talk to IRL, but the longer you stick around, the more you'll (hopefully) see how got dang co-dependent they are on one another, assuming you don't get sucked into the cult mentality and become a die-hard AA faggot yourself, memorizing all the stupid cliches and celebrating people's "birthdays" with hugs and medallions. If I'm going to talk to the same faggots about teh same shit day in and day out, I'd rather it be interesting people that have sick senses of humor and can make me laugh or provoke my thoughts, and I'd rather have a buzz. Talking about "the way things were" over and over is mind-numbingly redundant and UNHEALTHY. Thank you Jesus.
Like I told you in Tinychat. It seems like it's working for me. I'm okay with being codependent on a group of human beings, what's the difference between that and a substance that makes me a bad person.
They already won me over to the tryhard faggots who read the book every day. Only difference is I don't try to prostylize and get other people involved in AA and I never will. People tried to do that to me and it never worked till I wanted it to. I like the idea of hugs and medallions and birthdays.Who knows maybe bradley could turn this into something positive and become a substance abuse councilor and work with at at risk youth.
I can't work with kids because I'm a repeated felon. That being said I think this is real positive. I'm not really one of those people submissive for submissive gay sex (which is what I assume this old man was trying to do if he was taking you on walks and talking about your hair) for some reason I give off some anti bottom vibe.I went to one AA meeting and the whole thing smacks of ulterior motives. If I wasn't on my phone I'd love to write out a few stories of my experience (I never went back). But yeah, basically a hugbox. I'm not saying it isn't effective for some however. Everyone has to find their own way.
I'd be interested in hearing what these stories are if you don't mind.
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2015-11-04 at 5:19 PM UTC in BradleyB's Old School Runescape ThreadUpdate: So I've been questing probably for about 12 hours. Things are going great, I'm just straight killing these quests. They used to be really hard for me, for some reason 07 is just so much straight forward. I'm actually ENJOYING the same things in Runescape3 I hated.
Trying to make friends, but I've only managed to get liek 1 or 2.
All the quests I have done (plus a couple that I did before starting this guide) are on the left.
This is why I'm so happy, my buddy upgraded all my drivers and started getting my peak performance with some dual screens, and gave me the screen!
Gonna keep working on quests for awhile. Report back later. -
2015-11-02 at 8:33 PM UTC in Make money by being a druggie and fappingOr you could just do gay porn, they'll give you free drugs to keep you going through the sixteen dongs you will be dealing with.
Everyone loves a scene where the femme Roshambo-lookin ass dude busts a nut after having had everyone bust on him already.
That could be you + drugs. -
2015-11-02 at 8:30 PM UTC in Homosexuals are gayAs a heteroromantic homosexual I mildly agree with this proposition. Though wish you to know it could be greatly expanded upon.
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2015-11-02 at 8:27 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadDay 2 of my Recovery:
I went to my first AA meeting, met my sponsor, got a hardcover Big Book and the hard cover 12 Steps & 12 Traditions book.
The meeting went great, they had an extra little meeting to discuss the first step with me after which about half of the 20 original people stayed to do.
I felt a lot of similarities with the other people there, and no one really shit on me even when I discussed, in truth, how bad things were.
My sponsor wants me to read as a little homework assignment The Doctor's Opinion in the big book and highlight what I feel is important and what I have any questions on. I'm excited to do that. Will do that tomorrow, because I have two hours of Runescape till I'm going to my volunteer outpatient group for three hours at 5 o clock.
Not having a car and with only one meeting once a week within 8 miles of my home, I said I needed a ride. Turns out there's a guy who lives farther into the suburbs than I do and has to go through my town every day to go to meetings. What luck! We're going to a meeting tomorrow morning as well.
My sponsor and I seem to connect pretty well, while talking privately before he said one of the biggest things I need to work on is a compulsion of drug dealing. Something I need to admit I'm powerless over and work on. I never considered behavior such as selling narcotics to be an addiction. Not sure how I feel about this, but while I'm at my mom's house I don't really have any bills so the compulsion to drug deal is simply greed.
Having been out for about 26 hours and already have busted a move, I think I'mma chill the fuck out and tell my people I need a break. They'll find someone else, but I can always find new customers. It's worth a try. Honestly, I think he might have a point. Some of the best times of my life have been highlighted primarily by moving bulk and having more money in my pocket at once than I had in my entire childhood combined.
He wants me to call him every day at 9pm and meet with him twice a week, at least initially while I get started.
Only once in my life have I found a group of people that I had no interest in getting over on or making something from until today. The first time was you pieces of shit, now it's Alcoholics Anonymous. I believe I can do this. Even if it's only one dong at a time. -
2015-11-02 at 8:25 AM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadBro I do way crazier shit than that on a regular basis.
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2015-11-02 at 7:11 AM UTC in BradleyB's Old School Runescape ThreadDay 1:
11/2/15 Starting my Questing -
2015-11-02 at 7:10 AM UTC in BradleyB's Old School Runescape ThreadStarted playing Runescape again.
I'm using my Old School Runescape Account which was originally a shits and giggles pure I threw a little bit of money into it.
A pure has a low combat level because it has no defense, this allows me to attack well rounded characters in the wild and win.
For instance- 40 attack, 45 strength, 40 defense, 40hp, 43 prayer, would be like level 70 combat whereas 40 attack, 99 strength, 1 def, 40 hp, and 43 prayer owuld have the same combat level. This would make the 1 def player hit alot harder which has the advantage GREATLY over the defense player.
So I worked on it for fun.
I never even bothered using it in the wild or fighting other players with it.
Since I gave away most of my shit in Runescape3 and wanna try something new I'm playing the 2007 version of Runescape popularized as Old School Runescape.
I'm making it into a main (leveling all the levels), 07 is a lot harder than rs3 so my gains won't be as rapid and if you die you lose all but 3 items.
I only have about 3m worth of shit on 07 so I'm starting pretty fresh.
These are my stats and my bank:
2.2m cash, cannons like 800k, and the gilded blue mage robes are also like 500k I think. Give or take about 3m
71 Magic is huge for combat, the 62 Smithing isn't bad either for money making. The defense is gonna go through the roof though.
You get like 1-4 points per quest, usually 2 depending on how long it was.
Here's the Quest List I'mma make a goal to get done (I waited way too long to start doing quests on RS3 so I wanna do these while the rewards are still worth it).
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2015-11-02 at 5:07 AM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadSo I spent the last couple hours with my drinking buddy who plays RS with me online. We met in jail like five years ago and are pretty great buddies.
He asked me if he could drink in front of me, I told him sure. I made coffee, he worked on a four pack of steel reserves. After he ran out, we went to the gas station and got him another four pack. I bought a black and mild casino wood tipped cigar. It was 3/10, but i just wanted to buy something tho.
AFter watching him drink 3 more, i noticed that he kinda looked more sweaty, his pallor wasn't so good, he kinda looked... almost like sick a little bit. It didn't bother me watching him drink after he had the first two down, but I did feel a little jealousy.
He showed me all the new shit on Runescape and told me he'd pay for my first month of membership, so I'm going back to playing Runescape professionally now. This time I'll be playing on the 07 server. I know I'm trading one addiction to another but I don't want to write tbh, I don't think I'm good enough.
Going to start a Runescape Blog/Thread of course. -
2015-11-02 at 4:43 AM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
I'm going to cut back because I want to workout, read more, find work again, be more social, not fuck slutty bitches as much. Before I used to get horrible withdrawals, and now I rarely get hungover. I enjoy drinking, the act of it and the feels, but doing it all the time makes me feel boring and redundant.
I do abstain at completely some days, some days i only have a 1 or 2. Some days I get shitfaced through out the entire day. So yeah I find it hard to go without sometimes. like I feel empty. Ive been taking about 1200 mg's of gabapentin on certain days to avoid the urge to get messed up. I may still have one or two but I'm more productive and lively.
Hmm, well that's good you're doing it for you and have goals to replace the time with. The withdrawls are really bad but i'm glad you're over that. Did you taper?
How do you only have 1 or 2 is my question? Don't you feel a drive to just have one more and one more? I know you would buy those tall boys instead of 4 packs, but don't you just wanna load up at hte store so you don't have to sit there drunk not drinking more?
I feel empty right now just sitting here, bored. I'm gonna start playing Runescape again though tonight.
I don't take any medications. What is gabapentin given to you for?Quitter.
Thank you for you're input.you……actually look healthy. before, you looked like something that crawled up onto the riverbank.
My mom said the same thing but I don't really see it in myself because I see myself on a daily basis and don't notice the changes so much. I feel healthier (aside from the achey arthritis) internally though and i suppose this shows in my face/demeanor.Damn son, I feel a lot less bad about my drinking now. So, uhh, thanks for that.
I'm glad I could encourage your habit further. Keep a check on it though, feeling bad about something usually means you're internal soul knows somethings wrong with what you're doing.
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2015-11-01 at 10:02 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadNot gonna lie, since you posted "Nice Thread" within about a minute of me posting the link in Tinychat I have a feeling you read till you saw "Not drinking" and then posted a comment.
Though I appreciate your well wishes.
To create discussion, I think it's intriguing to ask. What are you doing to cut back? What was your drinking like before and now? What is your end goal?
Do you find it hard to go sober days (if you're abstaining entire days?) and if so what are you doing to go without?
