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Thanked Posts by smokemon

  1. smokemon Houston
    I got cock-blocked, what's the artist and song?

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. smokemon Houston
    I'm a hard boiled guy these days.
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  3. smokemon Houston
    Plants do have a range of poisons in them though, gotta be careful not to overdose on certain things.
    Saponins, oxalates, goiterogens, cyanic glycosoides, phytic acid, tannins, etc.

    Spinach is the worst, that shit is poison.
    When I was a young whippersnapper, I got into "healthy eating," ate several huge handfuls of spinach daily.
    Then for years I suffered from broken up sandy kidney stones almost every other time I peed.
    I learned about oxalates and stopped eating spinach and haven't had any kidney stones in almost 15 years.

    The worst foods to eat are leafy greens, especially the high oxalate ones like spinach and kale.
    That shit will fuck you up.

    Every time someone says "superfood," I want to cockslap them right in the kisser.
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  4. smokemon Houston
    Originally posted by Grylls What the fuck is a butt butt?

    Butt² is her squeeze, capiche?
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  5. smokemon Houston
    ASS

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  6. smokemon Houston
    BAI 2U.
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  7. smokemon Houston
    I want to ride a bomb down to the ground in an airstrike.
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  8. smokemon Houston
    I feel like a gay when I wear a maysk.

    On the other hand, the lower half of my face looks a lot like toothlessjoe's.
    Covering it up turns me into a HAWT commodity, leaving only my smoldering gaze exposed.

    It's tough to shop when every woman you pass assumes doggystle position, presents her booty to you, and shrieks "TAKE ME, take me now, HARD."
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  9. smokemon Houston
    I'm still listening to a bunch of gay 80s/90s shit.

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  10. smokemon Houston
    Originally posted by aldra The Offspring

    I saw my very first set of tiddies at an offspring concert.


    After the tiddy flash incident, the crowd all smushed forward when they started playing.
    My package got mushed into a girl's butt.
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  11. smokemon Houston
    Nick at Night coming on really killed the mood.
    I hated all those boomer shows.

    Remember channel 99? OOH LALA!
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  12. smokemon Houston
    Originally posted by Bradley I feel like you're going to botch the kidnapping attempt, end up killing her on accident, raping her in a field, and burying her in a shallow grave a dog walker finds in spring.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. smokemon Houston
    U got da urge 2 merge.
    Dat means u relly leik each udder.
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  14. smokemon Houston
    One time I was working at a metal parts factory where there was some kind of retarded work program.
    They would bring in retards, sit them down at a long table, and they would assemble various apparatuses and get paid for their work.
    One day, I was over at the huge bins in the warehouse, gathering up some parts and pieces to dump in from of the tards.
    When I turned around and walked back towards the table, a helmet-wearing special was leaned over to some girl in a wheelchair and he was FURIOUSLY honking the girls tits repeatedly. He was just latched on to her tits.
    She had her arms past his, still trying to assemble the part during the honking.
    Later on that same molesty retard ran off from the table, hopped up onto a forklift and just started laying on the horn.
    He was so happy to honk the horn, he wouldn't listen to us telling him to stop.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. smokemon Houston
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  16. smokemon Houston
    Dog in front:

    Pros: Looking at a dog's butthole.

    Cons: Looking at a dog's butthole.

    Dog in back:

    Pros: No dog butthole to look at.

    Cons: No dog butthole to look at.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. smokemon Houston
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  18. smokemon Houston
    Originally posted by Lucrimosa You are the light of the world.

    “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. smokemon Houston
    RIP thread.

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  20. smokemon Houston
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny shame is pride

    Piss is shampoo.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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