Originally posted by CandyRein
So random but… apparently this is what conversations look like 2 yrs into a relationship … idk why this was so hilarious to me …
When you find someone just as crazy as you 🥰😭
Women that have a silly spirit are hard to find.
If you talk about the New World Butt Order to 10 different chicks... 9 of them will give just you the stink-eye.
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I dreamed last night that I was at some kind of plant zoo with my dad. Each plant had its own little tomato cage thing around it and a little sign describing what plants it was. While looking at the plants, eventually we came across a dead bird on the ground. It was pretty decomposed and disgusting. My dad for some reason didn't realize what it was at first, and reach down and picked up a handful of rotten bird giblets and feathers and examined them closely. He said something like "Oh, it's a dead bird." I was all like "Ewww gross! Why did you touch it?" After he had concluded that is was in fact a dead bird, he sort of came towards me with his defiled hands outreached. I was like "Eeeeeeek!" and started running. The rest of the dream just consisted of me running away from my dad who was chasing after me and trying to grab me with his dirty bird guts hand.
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I haven't tried delta 8 yet. Was buying some high CBD hemp nuggies for awhile, then out of the blue I got a batch that got me high. That's how I got back into weed.
Those clowns at the CBD place need to be careful, they're shipping out the odd batch that has way more than 0.3% THC.
One time I bought a CBD pill (no branding, just a plain white pill in a button bag) in Colorado. After I ate it I was literally tripping my balls off. They must have put some kind of synthetic cannabinoids in it. I don't trust CBD products anymore, lol.
At any rate I need to try this delta 8 stuff some day, all the young whippersnappers are raving about it.
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The reason I like them so much is because they make you blast huge farts that smell like canned corn. They also firm up your dookie so you lay perfect loafs that require minimal wiping afterwards.
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People who cut lines are the same kind of people that leave shopping carts strewn all over the parking lot instead of just taking it to the cart return.
Line cutters also includes those assholes on the freeway that fuck everything up when traffic has to merge into one lane. They go on the shoulder, race past everybody, then badger their way into the front of the line at the very end of the lane.
If any child shows line-cutting tendencies they should be promptly kneed in the ballsack and locked in a closet under the stairs for a week like Harry Potter.
The only way to purify society: Organize some kind of event like "All citizens receive a dozen cupcakes for free if you just come to X location and wait in line for your turn." There needs to be some kind of cupcake gestapo that watches the line. When someone cuts in line, they are handcuffed, escorted off from the line and thrown into a large 20 foot deep ditch in the ground. At the end of the free cupcake event, a bulldozer come by and fills in the hole full of line-cutters, burying them alive.
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A lot of times my dreams disintegrate into near nothingness when I wake up, only remembering like a visual snapshot of the last moment in the dream. About once or twice a week I'll have a dream where I can remember most of what happens. Those are my favorite, I wish it happened more often.
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Weird dream last night. I was down in a ravine near a little trickling creek and I found lots of cool dream mushrooms. They were huge, between knee to waist height and very much unlike any real life mushrooms. I picked a couple big ones and was pleased with myself, but then I couldn't get back up the side of the ravine. The sides were too steep and whenever managed to get close to the top gravity would kind of wig out and start changing directions like a salvia trip.
Eventually after calling out a few times some random bystanders reached down from the top and sort of pulled me up and out. I needed both hands and had to leave the strange mushrooms behind. I went back to my "home," which was this sort of prefabricated shed thing with a ladder that went up to a small loft. I went inside the shed and went up to the loft where a bed was. On the bed was one of my elementary school friend's mom. I approached the bed and she stirred and instantly started talking dirty to me. As she talked dirty, I felt pleasure coming from my crotch region. A boner rapidly grew and erupted from my pants. She kept speaking to me in a dumpster-slut pornstar manner and magically, telekinetically enchanting my woody with her words. After a minute or so I pulled up the covers to reveal the lower half of her lingerie-clad body and leaned over, deposited some spooge on her leg. Then I woke up.
Luckily I did not jizz the bed, close call.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
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The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!