A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do to unclog the ol' sniffer
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Last night dream:
It all started with my best friend's mom and my mom arguing. I was observing them argue. They got mad and started catfighting, throwing girly punches and pulling each other's hair. After a minute or two of them fighting, my friend's mom got my mom in a headlock and was choking her out. I was like "Oh HELL NAW," and ran up and punched his mom really hard in the face. After I hit her, she let go of my mom and stated angrily "I'm calling the police!" As she took out her phone and dialed 911, I ran. The whole rest of the dream I was running through random neighborhoods I didn't recognize trying to evade the police. Kind of like in GTA, as I ran I could hear police radio chatter in my head. At one point I went up to a bystander and tried to ask him where the fuck I was, but after I asked him he was like "Wait, aren't you that guy the police are after" I randomly produced a revolver pistol from my waistband and shoved it in his face. He ran off scared and I continued my way cutting through people's backyards and stuff. After awhile, I found a deck in someone's backyard and hid under the deck. While I was hiding there, I pulled out a phone and was trying to figure out where the hell I was looking at a map on the phone screen. Then the dream suddenly ended while I was looking at the map.
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2022-04-22 at 3:04 AM UTC
in
Do you like skirts?
I like skirts, but dresses are better.
They make women look a bit more feminine to me.
Not a huge fan of the miniskirt.
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Originally posted by mmQ
Bunch of little wurmeez hanging out
I wonder if any of them knew Pervix.
Anyhow, I found some stuff.
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2022-05-02 at 8:59 AM UTC
in
Get happy or gtfo
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Originally posted by Pillpopper
ghost train Haze
When I was in Colorado once, I gave my space nigga action figure a hobo sack.
In his hobo sack was shake from a bag of ghost train haze.
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Originally posted by Meikai
"the ultimate spergs"
I need to get one of those WWF-style wrestling championship belts made for myself, with "the ultimate sperg" engraved on the central plate.
I could pretend to be sort of like "The Ultimate Warrior," except a sperg.
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2022-04-30 at 5:07 PM UTC
in
Random image thread
Childhood toys, RIP.
I ripped the head off, cut the foot off, melted them together, then melted the eye sockets and stuck little metal stars in.
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Tiny hat gang literally sucks bloody baby peckers.
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When I was younger, Candy's bubbly nature probably would have irritated me.
These days, I'm just happy for her that she seems happy.
*shrug*
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Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood
Better at what, what are you gay who the fuck cares
I think we should cut off infants' ears so they don't have to wash behind them when they grow up.
At the same time they should also cut off both baby's big toes so they never painfully stub them on stuff walking around.
Fingernails get a lot of dirt underneath them, cleaning them is a chore, better pull them all off with pliers while they're at it.
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2022-04-23 at 4:41 PM UTC
in
Random image thread
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2022-04-29 at 6:05 AM UTC
in
Should I kms
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I'd enlist the alchemists to help make a bunch of crazy pyrotechnics.
I'm sure they could use their fancy flasks and beakers to somehow make nitroglycerine or TNT, maybe make land mine type stuff.
If you shot a bunch of arrows with lit fuse dynamites affixed into the shield wall on the front of a phalanx, I bet when they started going off the troops would break rank and scatter in bewilderment and fear as the front liners got turned to giblets. The rest of them would probably be next to deaf after the blasts, unable to hear commands shouted. Of course you would teach your archers to wear some beefy as ear plugs.
I would also use chili peppers of all things. I'd have the townsfolk secure the hottest damn peppers they could source from the Silk Road trade routes, and grow a plantation of chilis. For weeks, people would be brewing up cauldrons of red atomic ichor for me. We would collect all the spicy gravy and make little handheld devices that had a tense spring or two, maybe some steampunk cogs and gears, that when triggered, would blast a very strong spray of blinding, searing pain right into an enemy's face.
All the arrows in my army would be dipped in shit sauce at a nearby latrine before use to cause grisly infected wounds. "Hey guys, there's little tiny entities you can't see that are bad for you in turds. If we can get turds indside their skin they will have a very bad day."
I'd import a bunch of elephants and have a war elephant legion. On each one, one driver in a full suit of heavy armor, then a little turret on the elephant's back with one turd archer and one dynamite archer.
You can bet your ass I'd be trying to figure out how to make a crossbow minigun. There has to be a way. Maybe the bolts feeding into the device on a leather belt, like some modern machine guns. You could build some kind of pillbox nest with one guy operating it, cogs and gears everywhere, some source of tension, maybe horse-drawn line or something. Or Use gravity somehow? Maybe a big boulder tied up in a rope nest suspended like 30 feet off the ground by the tension rope, each bolt on the feed belt that is fired slowly lowers the boulder to earth a few inches at a time. I can't even imagine the terror of a squad of enemy pikemen coming up to your castle to find themselves facing three or four crossbow bunkers each pumping out like 6 or 7 bolts a second and can keep firing for 500+ shots each.
You also want to send an expedition to South America to get some coca. Grow a coca plantation for your troops so they have a bit of a superhuman edge in the fight. You know, that X-factor so they really pop on the battlefield.
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2022-04-29 at 12:35 AM UTC
in
🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬
At work, do you wear low cut tops and tantalize everyone who comes in with your titillating ta-tas?
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2022-04-24 at 4:34 PM UTC
in
🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬
I just spent like three minutes hypnotized by your jiggling jubblies.
I'll never get that time back.
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2022-04-23 at 10:32 PM UTC
in
The Asimov Battalion
More like Assy-move Butt-talian.
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