Originally posted by Haxxor
Let’s be real here; All these online “tests” are a joke….anyone with half a brain can choose to answer the questions with purpose and as such make the results confirm whatever you want to appear to be 😑
Let's be real here: Ok nigga.
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Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4
Literary I'm being a cheapskate like jigaboo and buying some used pieces of shit because my van is in pretty bad shape and honestly I'm in the market for a smart car.
Hard to find a used piece of shit that is simultaneously a smart car.
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Originally posted by jerryb
Pretty sure I saw that aliens cousin at Walmart the other day. Walmart a very good place to observe the genetic weirdness of the human race.
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Originally posted by jerryb
In the tax refund biz kids=money. I think the child credit about $2k per kid and realize these type of folks always have a bunch of kids anyway.
2k for a kid?!? I'll take it! Gimme those tax dollurs, Uncle Sam!
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Originally posted by Chios Honey
my life is pure shit.
*I can barely catch my breath walking up hills.
*I drink to many energy drinks to keep from falling asleep all day long. I can't work more than 2 hours without wanting to nap.
*My penis is angry at me and wont come out to play. I'd prolly have a heart attack if I took a viagra
*I'd rub one out to Christina Ricci but her big forehead is weirding me out
*some stupid fucking college kid nearly punched my sideview mirror off because I tried to go around a car in the bike lane, fucker was on a scooter and didn't try and pass to the left.
Sounds like problems caused by your own actions. I have similar issues.
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I want to try betel nuts, man, I get it. Hopefully with the way things have been going with cannabis legalization and the outrage against the almost-Crouton ban in the late 2010s, some of these substances will be reviewed again by the DEA.
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Ok, so I get you're old and all in hospice, but it's gotta be jumpin. Imagine this:
You wake up at 6 AM and get visited by a PAWG nurse that washes your ass for you. Then, you take 100 MG of morphine. an hour later, you're ballin down to the lunch room to eat some bomb-ass food like bacon and eggs with fruit, sitting back with some people you haven't seen since highschool, feeling pretty good and on your 2nd cup of coffee. You hang out with them, then go back to your room and watch tv for a bit. Lunch comes around, you eat lunch and go watch a movie n the theater room with your friends, chilling out.
And then comes dinner.
Next thing you know you're eating cheeseburger with baked beans and potato chips and a slice of apple pie, fuck yeah. You get back to your room and another cutie gives you your 150 MG of morphine, and now you're really faded. You spend the next hour on the couch talking to friends on facebook or what not, and then you go to bed at 8 PM.
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You and a few of the Taliban are running a road bloackade collecting tolls from passing citizens. One of your fellow jihadists whispers to you "Inshallah tonight will be good".
Later, he finds you in your tent. He gets you to come outside with him, presenting you with the most blindingly gorgeous pipe in all of existence:
That's right, motherfucker. You're about to smoke some of the purest, snow-white, most kick-ass smack you've ever seen in your pathetic life.
He whispers to you "Come, brother, it is not haram because there is no hukum which forbids drugs, let alone 98.5% pure heroin."
Do you hit the pipe with your new friend, or do you reject this potentially perilous product???
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Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
..they keep shitting behind the dumpster at work. I keep having to send out one of the underlings to hose it down.
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