Post Excuses for Missing Work

1. 2019-05-20 at 2:34 PM UTC

   #21
   

   Ghost Black Hole
   Say you are sick, use up all your sick days and when they ask you why you are sick so much tell them you are addicted to fentanyl and get medical disability for a year.
2. 2019-05-20 at 2:44 PM UTC

   #22
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   Call at 3am and leave a voice message.
   
   "I'm sick, I wont be in today"
   
   next day when asked just said you had it coming out of both ends.
3. 2019-05-20 at 2:53 PM UTC

   #23
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by Nil
   
   u don't need to be around there while I enter your abode and pass judgement on everything.

   
   
   Ohhhh but I do.
4. 2019-05-20 at 2:59 PM UTC

   #24
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   I used to work a survey job...
   
   
   I would call in and just tell them I couldn't make it. Straight up lie to them...HIM...the guy at the front desk...always then trying to convince me to come in for a few hours if I could make it because they always need people to come in....
   
   I was one of their better workers...on the first page of thee production rate, at least, every week.
5. 2019-05-20 at 3:14 PM UTC

   #25
   

   Ghost Black Hole
   I phoned my work once while I was drunk and on many drugs at 5am and left a message saying i'm too intoxicated to work and my boss told me I should just lie next time and say i'm sick.
   
   I was so drunk I fought my dad 3 times the same night all for different reasons.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
6. 2019-05-20 at 9:43 PM UTC

   #26
   

   frala Avant garde shartist
   NIGGER I DON’T WANNER
7. 2019-05-20 at 9:53 PM UTC

   #27
   

   Bueno motherfucker
8. 2019-05-20 at 9:57 PM UTC

   #28
   

   frala Avant garde shartist
   Oh my gad I didn’t get my facking toast. Can’t do spreadsheetz sry.
9. 2019-05-20 at 9:58 PM UTC

   #29
   

   frala Avant garde shartist
   Hello manager my butthole itches. Won’t be seeing you today.
10. 2019-05-20 at 10:20 PM UTC

    #30
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    My right testicle is under the weather today. Cain't do it.
11. 2019-05-20 at 10:23 PM UTC

    #31
    

    frala Avant garde shartist
    I think I’m growing a right testicle. Be back next month.
12. 2019-05-20 at 10:24 PM UTC

    #32
    

    Tesla Coil Tuskegee Airman
    Couldn't find my car.. in traffic
    
    lost in a sea of steal and wheels
13. 2019-05-20 at 10:26 PM UTC

    #33
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    Yeah...Joan? HR Joan? My balls are currently in someone's jaws. Gimme a raise bitch.
14. 2019-05-21 at 12:19 AM UTC

    #34
    

    frala Avant garde shartist
    Call and go cough cough I have the bubonic plague and hang up
    
    Then call right back and say haha I’m just mashin yer taters Janet I’ll see you at 10 but don’t show up
15. 2019-05-21 at 12:24 AM UTC

    #35
    

    Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]
    There was a really really really long train.
16. 2019-05-21 at 12:25 AM UTC

    #36
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    I won the lottery and my lawyer is drawing up papers to buy your company and before the ink dries, you are fired!
17. 2019-05-21 at 12:25 AM UTC

    #37
    

    Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]
    I had priapism, and my dick is too big to tuck.
18. 2019-05-21 at 12:25 AM UTC

    #38
    

    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    slipped and fell on a gay black dildo
19. 2019-05-21 at 12:42 AM UTC

    #39
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    Welp ACP is gonna be using up a slick day
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Tesla Coil
20. 2019-05-21 at 1:25 AM UTC

    #40
    

    Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger Houston
    I ripped my dick off while smoking PCP and I'm in the hospital.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • aldra