Post Excuses for Missing Work

1. 2019-05-21 at 1:27 AM UTC

   #41
   

   Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger Houston
   Also I had my dick transplanted on my face in place of my nose and a blow jizz out instead of snot. Taking the day off work.
2. 2019-05-21 at 6:24 AM UTC

   #42
   Shrooms Houston
   Say you're going in don't work
3. 2019-05-21 at 7:38 AM UTC

   #43
   

   A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
   call in sick but then show up
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • mmQ, 
   • aldra, 
   • Bueno, 
   • The Self Taught Man
4. 2019-05-21 at 8:14 AM UTC

   #44
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Too dumb or whatever
5. 2019-05-21 at 8:22 AM UTC

   #45
   

   Lanny Bird of Courage
   Call in and tell them you lost your phone and need to go replace it.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • A College Professor, 
   • frala
6. 2019-05-21 at 8:46 AM UTC

   #46
   

   Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger Houston
   If you take a bike to work tell em a nigger stole your bike.
7. 2019-05-21 at 10:11 AM UTC

   #47
   

   Ghost Black Hole
   Hold yourself ransom but actually just go on vacation.
8. 2019-05-21 at 10:45 AM UTC

   #48
   

   Dregs African Astronaut [that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
   brother was in accident, gotta come here quick the car is totalled. oh yeah your brother only had minor injuries so you didn't have to be alarmed. good love family and their priorties.
9. 2019-05-21 at 7:33 PM UTC

   #49
   

   Tesla Coil Tuskegee Airman

   Originally posted by larrylegend8383 Welp ACP is gonna be using up a slick day

   
   lol I see wut ya dod thar
10. 2019-05-21 at 7:34 PM UTC

    #50
    

    Tesla Coil Tuskegee Airman

    Originally posted by Lanny Call in and tell them you lost your phone and need to go replace it.

    
    That's only funny if you have your name on Caller ID or your phone number shows up
11. 2019-05-21 at 7:44 PM UTC

    #51
    

    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
    One of my underlings called in today to say his flight was canceled last night and the later flight wouldn't get him into Houston till 10am...he calls me at 12pm and says he just landed and had to drop the kids off at his moms and a bunch of other shit so I told him not to bother coming in at that point and we'll see him tomorrow.
    
    He thanks me for being so understanding and kind...lol what a fucking tool, he doesn't know what I have planned for him tomorrow.
12. 2019-05-21 at 7:46 PM UTC

    #52
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    You don’t believe him?
13. 2019-05-21 at 7:52 PM UTC

    #53
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger If you take a bike to work tell em a nigger stole your bike.

    
    "I stole my bike from myself."
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger
14. 2019-05-21 at 7:53 PM UTC

    #54
    

    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole

    Originally posted by Erekshun You don’t believe him?

    
    Yes I believe him, I'll punish him all the same...I'm like that, if I have to be here the chaff certainly does.
15. 2019-05-21 at 7:54 PM UTC

    #55
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    Any lie to not go to work with the word nigger in it is believable
16. 2019-05-21 at 8 PM UTC

    #56
    

    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    I fell thru a glass table while seeing a chicken, she gave me adderall and whisky and i blu my butt out on her glass drangon table. she cried while i was laying on her wooden floor while she was saying "DOUG YOU HAVE TO GO TO A HOSPITAL" and i just kept saying give me a few minutes and I'll leave. ent up going to seton center on her motorcycle and banged her in the morning with glassy chards coming out of my ass while i was bouncing
    
    
    
    got off for work for 2 days over it. I felt if i was to squat my stitches would of popped out.
    
    I also got out of work a couple weeks ago because I got into an accident and got stitches on my eye.
    
    
    
    i told her i'd buy her a new coffee table but she said I don't have enough money and started crying lol
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • The Self Taught Man
17. 2019-05-21 at 8:07 PM UTC

    #57
    

    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

    Originally posted by Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger If you take a bike to work tell em a nigger stole your bike.

    
    
18. 2019-05-21 at 8:09 PM UTC

    #58
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Bill Krozby You seem very error prone... Physical coordination not your strong suit?
19. 2019-05-21 at 8:13 PM UTC

    #59
    

    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

    Originally posted by WellHung Bill Krozby You seem very error prone… Physical coordination not your strong suit?

    
    actually pshical coordination is my strong suit. I play guitar, skateboard, bike, fight, and fuck.
    
    It's just you're bound to mess up sometimes when you're as active/busy as me. I just broke 3 bones 3 weeks ago and am already healed up and I didn't die like most people probably would of. The doctors told me I was going to need plastic surgery and a cast and I did nothing what they told me to do and I healed up better than most people a lot quicker because I'm not a pussy
20. 2019-05-22 at 7:14 PM UTC

    #60
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Bill Krozby

    
    
    LOOKS LIKE IT'S ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL Bill KrozbyOLO THREAD!