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Awkward moments in public bathrooms

  1. #1
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    We all have had commmon awkward public bathroom scenarios..

    The mentally retarded that pull their pants down at the urinal, for example.

    One time, when I was still in highschool, I walked in and needed to use the stall and when I tried to OP pen it, I learned Tha it was occupied. What gets me is that I made eye contact with the person on the toilet through the crack in the door.

    Or

    There was the time that I had diarrhea in school, and spent 45 minutes of class time shiting my brains out. I came back to class, likely reeking of shit. The teacher either knew I had diarrhea or gave me a zero for the day.

    Or

    The time when I took bundy before school and decided to eat two small pieces of pizza before leaving for the bus. Two hours later, I was puking my guts out in the bathroom. Someone walked in and I explained to them that I had the flu.

    Or

    The time I had a raging hard on for some chock in my class and almost came in the bathroom stall.

    Fucking perv, she would have thought.

    Share your awkward bathroom experiences.
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  2. #2
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Everyone staring at me in jealousy when I walk up to a line of men pissing at a trough and whip out my horse cock, mostly.
  3. #3
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by mmQ Everyone staring at me in jealousy when I walk up to a line of men pissing at a trough and whip out my horse cock, mostly.

    give the horse back his cock, you sick fuck. no one cares what you use for a dildo and those arent stares of jealousy...theyre looks of astonishment at you carrying around some poor horses phallus.

    fucking retard.
  4. #4
    infinityshock Black Hole
    whenever im in a convenience store restroom...the single-room ones...and someone knocks/bangs on the door, after pulling on the locked door handle, i yell out in the best fag-lisp that i can: 'come in...its open'

    jesus fuck, you stupid retard...the door is locked...of course someone is in here.

    a few times ive yelled out 'call roto-rooter...i fell in and i cant get out.'
  5. #5
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Originally posted by mmQ Everyone staring at me in jealousy when I walk up to a line of men pissing at a trough and whip out my horse cock, mostly.

    One time I was taking a piss and I momentarily look to the right of me somebody else is taking a piss and later on, he called me a gay David Mustaine
  6. #6
    Discount Whore 2.0 Houston [retell my unflavored scrape]
    what about when there are 18 urinals and the dude walks in and pisses right next to you
  7. #7
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Originally posted by Discount Whore 2.0 what about when there are 18 urinals and the dude walks in and pisses right next to you

    That's an invitation to get your cock sucked
  8. #8
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    I was molested when I was 5 years old at school in the bathroom, I would pull down my pants all the way to my ankles to pee. And some older boy played with my booty.

    One time when I was 17 I worked at HEB a texan grocery chain and I ate a bunch of adderall before going to work and was pushing carts but decided I was horny and needed a break so I went into one of the stalls and masturbated all over the toilet seat, when I was washing my hands the guy from the meat market came in and sat on my semen while taking a shit

    an other time I stayed up for a couple days with a friend smoking meth and drinking and we went to go eat some chicken curry and went to HEB to get more brews and between the brews we drank, the meth and curry it fucked up our stomachs so we quickly went to the bathroom and started taking dual shits. Some guy walked in with what I'm pesuming was his little son and the guy said "goddamn son it smells like goddamn asshole in here!" we kept shitting our guts out.

    another time at the same HEB i was super drunk and went to go take a piss and outside the door was some black dude next to the water fountains and he smiled at me when I went past him to go into the bathroom. I didn't think too much about it. There was some dude standing outside the stall waiting for whoever to come out but whoever was in there was taking forever.
    I went up the the stall door and banged on it as hard as I could and screamed APD GET THE FUCK OUT! and this black dude came out and he was fucking pissed and the other black dude that was standing guard outside came in, and the black dude that was pissed was getting in my face asking what my problem was and I started laughing and the black dude was like I was locked in there mane, there was tape on the door and I couldn't get out. He was obviously doing drugs in there and I freaked him out. I honestly thought he was going to hit me but his homie told 'LETS go' and they left.

    another time at the same HEB i went to the bathroom and there was some guy standing outside of the stall and gave me a smile and a wink and walked into the stall.... i just pissed and left and he was following me around the store smiling at me, cruisin for sex i assume.

    Another time I went to a rock venue downtown with my now ex gf, we had "re-united" after not speaking for awhile I forgot what band we were seeing but they sucked. Ent up talking shit to her and she slapped me in front of everyone so I was obviously on the bouncers radar. I had drank a lot so I kept going to the bathroom, the 4th time I went into the bathroom as I was coming out 2 bouncers grabbed me by my arms and escorted me out and I was so confused I was like wtf. And one of the dudes so don't play dumb you know thats the girls bathroom, you didn't fucking a urinal in there.
    I honestly just didnt think about it and never saw a girl in there anytime I went in there.
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  9. #9
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    What does HEB stand for?

    Also, I think gay niggers revolve around you
  10. #10
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Another time when I was 18 I worked at academy sports and out doors and I went to the bathroom to take a piss and some dude guy from the marines all decked out in his uniform came up to the urinal next to me and told me he was a recruiter for the marines and told me his name and extended his hand to shake my hand and I just looked at him and he said "oh sorry, we might as well just rub our dicks together haha..."

    And while I was washing my hands he was just standing behind me talking about the marines.
  11. #11
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby Another time when I was 18 I worked at academy sports and out doors and I went to the bathroom to take a piss and some dude guy from the marines all decked out in his uniform came up to the urinal next to me and told me he was a recruiter for the marines and told me his name and extended his hand to shake my hand and I just looked at him and he said "oh sorry, we might as well just rub our dicks together haha…"

    And while I was washing my hands he was just standing behind me talking about the marines.

    I don't know if that shell shock or pushy homosexuality
  12. #12
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by mashlehash What does HEB stand for?

    Also, I think gay niggers revolve around you

    henry ernie butts
  13. #13
    -When you cant commence a piss and there are others present.

    -Going through the motion of washing your hands after pissing so you dont get scoffed at even tho you dont need to cause you didnt get a sinlge drop of piss of your hands
  14. #14
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Originally posted by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick -When you cant commence a piss and there are others present.

    -Going through the motion of washing your hands after pissing so you dont get scoffed at even tho you dont need to cause you didnt get a sinlge drop of piss of your hands

    Oh man like that scene from Waiting
  15. #15
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by infinityshock whenever im in a convenience store restroom…the single-room ones…and someone knocks/bangs on the door, after pulling on the locked door handle, i yell out in the best fag-lisp that i can: 'come in…its open'

    jesus fuck, you stupid retard…the door is locked…of course someone is in here.

    a few times ive yelled out 'call roto-rooter…i fell in and i cant get out.'

    I'll roto root you by cramming my cock up your transverse colon, faggot bitch
  16. #16
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick -Going through the motion of washing your hands after pissing so you dont get scoffed at even tho you dont need to cause you didnt get a sinlge drop of piss of your hands

    I'll sometimes wash my hands after taking a piss, just strictly because I'm a legit obsessive compulsive, but other than that other people can go get bent. Like you said as long as you dont piss on your hands and you bathe and don't have a build up of smegma or poop your dick you should be fine.
  17. #17
    BigLuigi Houston
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby …Like you said as long as you dont piss on your hands and you bathe and don't have a build up of smegma or poop your dick you should be fine.

    yeah as long as you don't pee on your hands and you are circumcised , you are good
  18. #18
    LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]
    ^doesn't know how to use soap
  19. #19
    LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]
    Originally posted by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick -When you cant commence a piss and there are others present.

    -Going through the motion of washing your hands after pissing so you dont get scoffed at even tho you dont need to cause you didnt get a sinlge drop of piss of your hands

    You normally get piss on your hands when you urinate..?
  20. #20
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby I was molested when I was 5 years old at school in the bathroom, I would pull down my pants all the way to my ankles to pee. And some older boy played with my booty.

    Is this what led you to experiment with gay sex/modeling later on?
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