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The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-18 at 7:57 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice Except for mine it's tied to social interaction, events in my own life, and emotion.
It really is similar to a video that can be recalled, skipped through, possibly even played backward or with speed alterations.
I have something like this... I can go back and recall a moment in time with crystal clarity... sometimes that's not a god thing. I'll break down in tears randomly, either from missing person/animal/moment, even if it would be considered to me a happy memory... I've lost a lot that I love in my 28 years of life.
Psilocybin has helped me reach out, and during a particularly high dose, before my father died, but after my horse, whom in every way I would consider my "first child", and well... I got to be with him on the moon for a few hours. Not so much "be" with him, it's hard to explain... but I felt him and touched his soul through the cosmos once again... We're destined for now to have our paths split, but one day... sometime... down the river of life, of being, living and dying- I will find him again. Our souls are magnets, attracted to one another, ever pulling, despite the vastness of the universe dividing us apart. Death isn't the end, it's just a break point to something else, to revolve back around in this ever spinning wheel we know as life and death.
I have this one memory that I remember with absolute clarity, which I often recall... and it takes me back, takes me back to being on my boy's back, and him thundering across a wide open field covered with every beautiful shade of pink, red, yellow, and blue in wild flowers, I could feel the strength of him shaking the earth under us, his power, and our bodies feeling as though they just became one being. I'd closed my eyes, and savored everything, every smell, every sound, the touch of my hands clutching his mane, his strong, soft neck arched... the wind blowing through my hair, the smell of both of our bodies pouring sweat, the salt taste in my mouth from our sweat.
I remembered that moment, and thought consciously to myself, that I should do everything I can to remember every detail of that day, that moment with him, the one thing that has brought me the pinnacle of my happiness... I'm glad I did, and I' glad I can go visit that day, time and time again, despite it bringing me sorrow sometimes, knowing he's not here with me anymore, and my life has seen a lot of loss in it since that day... -
2017-07-18 at 8 PM UTC
Originally posted by Captain Falcon didnt read
Didn't care.
Originally posted by Captain Falcon Malice, what are your thoughts on Absurdism?
"When they realized they were in the desert, they created a religion to worship the thirst."
I'm not really a fan of Camus. He's certainly excellent when it comes to quotability, but lacks sufficient substance for my taste and I believe absurdism is ultimately critically and reduces to very simple aspects.
You ask this after your previous post. Stop quoting them, it only makes others have to scroll past them twice. Of course being a childish nuisance is your default crude trolling style, which you apparently derive amusement from due to your poor taste.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-18T20:07:53.631888+00:00 -
2017-07-18 at 8:06 PM UTC
Originally posted by hydromorphone I have something like this… I can go back and recall a moment in time with crystal clarity… sometimes that's not a god thing. I'll break down in tears randomly, either from missing person/animal/moment, even if it would be considered to me a happy memory… I've lost a lot that I love in my 28 years of life.
Psilocybin has helped me reach out, and during a particularly high dose, before my father died, but after my horse, whom in every way I would consider my "first child", and well… I got to be with him on the moon for a few hours. Not so much "be" with him, it's hard to explain… but I felt him and touched his soul through the cosmos once again… We're destined for now to have our paths split, but one day… sometime… down the river of life, of being, living and dying- I will find him again. Our souls are magnets, attracted to one another, ever pulling, despite the vastness of the universe dividing us apart. Death isn't the end, it's just a break point to something else, to revolve back around in this ever spinning wheel we know as life and death.
I have this one memory that I remember with absolute clarity, which I often recall… and it takes me back, takes me back to being on my boy's back, and him thundering across a wide open field covered with every beautiful shade of pink, red, yellow, and blue in wild flowers, I could feel the strength of him shaking the earth under us, his power, and our bodies feeling as though they just became one being. I'd closed my eyes, and savored everything, every smell, every sound, the touch of my hands clutching his mane, his strong, soft neck arched… the wind blowing through my hair, the smell of both of our bodies pouring sweat, the salt taste in my mouth from our sweat.
Getting to spend a few hours on the moon with a loved one who passed sounds like an incredible trip.
Lol, I didn't know who you were talking about in the third paragraph. At first I thought you may have worded it improperly and it was a childhood memory of you riding on someone's back, likely your father. Then I thought it was an incredibly cliche moment you'd had with a boyfriend or your ex-husband, something straight out of a women's romance novel.
Finally I realized it was a horse and that you calling him "my boy" threw me off just like the time you recently referred to your dogs as your family.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-18 at 8:07 PM UTC
Originally posted by hydromorphone … I've lost a lot that I love in my 28 years of life.
my life has seen a lot of loss in it since that day…
You talk like a fucking trauma survivor, and it's not just those two lines. It's every post.
Only people like war veterans who have seen the most unimaginable, horrorific shit life has to offer are allowed to talk like that. Otherwise you're nothing more than a massive cringeworthy faggot. -
2017-07-18 at 8:08 PM UTC
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2017-07-18 at 8:10 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dargo You talk like a fucking trauma survivor, and it's not just those two lines. It's every post.
Only people like war veterans who have seen the most unimaginable, horrorific shit life has to offer are allowed to talk like that. Otherwise you're nothing more than a massive cringeworthy faggot.
Yeah! You tell 'em!
And smack that bitch Tommy upside the head and tell him to get it together, the abuse he faced wasn't that bad compared to what other people go through. He needs to get over it and learn to bottle it up, not go to no nancy ass therapy sessions where they'll tell him to talk about it and his feelings, to be vulnerable and open. Real men bottle that shit up, move on, and never speak of it again.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-18 at 8:14 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice And smack that bitch Tommy upside the head and tell him to get it together, the abuse he faced wasn't that bad compared to what other people go through. He needs to get over it and learn to bottle it up, not go to no nancy ass therapy sessions where they'll tell him to talk about it and his feelings, to be vulnerable and open. Real men bottle that shit up, move on, and never speak of it again.
You can deal with and manage your emotions without being a faggot. -
2017-07-18 at 8:19 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-18 at 8:34 PM UTCInterpersonal relationships bring horrendous complexity to your life. Well, at least with my cognitive style, behavior, and knowledge base. They're such an incredible distraction from the pursuit of knowledge and other goals in life. It really is unfortunate that they're a necessity for proper functioning and well being, which I've fully accepted, I've researched it and written at length on the subject in the past. In fact I would call it the most critical aspect of human life there is: http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2011/05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html
Obviously there's bound to be a response curve, which I clearly experienced. Not much good all that time will do you if you're severely depressed, suicidal, lethargic anergic and suffering from avolition to the point where you don't even have the energy to live your life, are unable to sustain concentration or read well, lost all interest in the world, are attempting to replace social needs with message boards, which is far less efficient than IRL interaction would be etc.
I stand by my viewpoint that if there were a pill you could take to replace social interaction, that produced the biological benefits, I would never speak or interact with another person again unless necessary. Interpersonal relationships are insubstantial, transient and impermanent, unbelieveable time sinks that ultimately amount to nothing.
Gotta start taking a midday nap, especially on days like this (Either modafinil, a stimulant, or simply natural fluctuation). I binge read and think non-stop for hours at a rapid pace and end up overtaxing my supercharged brain. It's the severe OCD and repetitiveness, I just feel a strong compulsion to keep reading, a need to know, to learn, whatever it is I'm currently reading that captures primarily captures my attention.
The optimal diet isn't omnivorous, carnivorous, vegetarian, or vegan. It's one composed of information. The infovores will inherit the future. I want to know everything about everything I consider worth knowing about. To one day delve into and merge with the data stream. -
2017-07-18 at 8:34 PM UTCI just smoked nutmeg on a signature
I'm special -
2017-07-18 at 8:36 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice Interpersonal relationships bring horrendous complexity to your life. Well, at least with my cognitive style, behavior, and knowledge base. They're such an incredible distraction from the pursuit of knowledge and other goals in life. It really is unfortunate that they're a necessity for proper functioning and well being, which I've fully accepted, I've researched it and written at length on the subject in the past. In fact I would call it the most critical aspect of human life there is: http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2011/05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html
Obviously there's bound to be a response curve, which I clearly experienced. Not much good all that time will do you if you're severely depressed, suicidal, lethargic anergic and suffering from avolition to the point where you don't even have the energy to live your life, are unable to sustain concentration or read well, lost all interest in the world, are attempting to replace social needs with message boards, which is far less efficient than IRL interaction would be etc.
I stand by my viewpoint that if there were a pill you could take to replace social interaction, that produced the biological benefits, I would never speak or interact with another person again unless necessary. Interpersonal relationships are insubstantial, transient and impermanent, unbelieveable time sinks that ultimately amount to nothing.
Gotta start taking a midday nap, especially on days like this (Either modafinil, a stimulant, or simply natural fluctuation). I binge read and think non-stop for hours at a rapid pace and end up overtaxing my supercharged brain. It's the severe OCD and repetitiveness, I just feel a strong compulsion to keep reading, a need to know, to learn, whatever it is I'm currently reading that captures primarily captures my attention.
The optimal diet isn't omnivorous, carnivorous, vegetarian, or vegan. It's one composed of information. The infovores will inherit the future. I want to know everything about everything I consider worth knowing about. To one day delve into and merge with the data stream.
didn't read -
2017-07-18 at 8:40 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice Getting to spend a few hours on the moon with a loved one who passed sounds like an incredible trip.
Lol, I didn't know who you were talking about in the third paragraph. At first I thought you may have worded it improperly and it was a childhood memory of you riding on someone's back, likely your father. Then I thought it was an incredibly cliche moment you'd had with a boyfriend or your ex-husband, something straight out of a women's romance novel.
Finally I realized it was a horse and that you calling him "my boy" threw me off just like the time you recently referred to your dogs as your family.
I thought the exact same thing haha -
2017-07-18 at 8:43 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice Didn't care.
"When they realized they were in the desert, they created a religion to worship the thirst."
I'm not really a fan of Camus. He's certainly excellent when it comes to quotability, but lacks sufficient substance for my taste and I believe absurdism is ultimately critically and reduces to very simple aspects.
You ask this after your previous post. Stop quoting them, it only makes others have to scroll past them twice. Of course being a childish nuisance is your default crude trolling style, which you apparently derive amusement from due to your poor taste.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-18T20:07:53.631888+00:00
Didn't read -
2017-07-18 at 8:43 PM UTC
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2017-07-18 at 8:48 PM UTCI don't read but I know that I wouldn't read the book.
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2017-07-18 at 8:52 PM UTC
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2017-07-18 at 8:54 PM UTCSell me your Atari bro, you're too retarded anyway.
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2017-07-18 at 9:08 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-18 at 9:19 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dargo You talk like a fucking trauma survivor, and it's not just those two lines. It's every post.
Only people like war veterans who have seen the most unimaginable, horrorific shit life has to offer are allowed to talk like that. Otherwise you're nothing more than a massive cringeworthy faggot.
I watched, literally, like Gilgamesh, my friend, my child, my soulmate rot in front of me for 3 days before we could bury him. I've held innocent lives in my arms as they passed away suddenly, and sometimes not so suddenly... As a child from the time I was 4 years old, we had a dog who was having seizures. I knew instinctively I should hold them and protect their head, so I'd wrap myself around them and lay on the ground in their seizures with them until they came out of it, so I could get my dad to get them valium (well, until I was a few years older and could get it for them myself that is). I've had the sorrow of going out to spend time with a beloved family member, haunted by the "Know" that death was coming, but not knowing who it was for, to find out I was right, and it was someone I loved... coming jut a few hours later to find their body still warm in the sun, but stiffening up, dead. I've come home to a dear friend ripped to pieces by coyotes... I've had to do mercy killings for those I've loved, I've had to pull that trigger, once slitting their throat.
I've witnessed a lot of awful things in my life. I've also witnessed a lot of beautiful things too...
I haven't been through war, but I sure have experienced something close to it as far as watching those around me I love die, having to kill them out of love and mercy, having to watch their carcass mock me... Probably why I do have PTSD, and a lot of fucked up shit in my head.
Malice, sorry about you misunderstanding. Most of the souls I've loved in this life have been animals of one variety or another... I've loved them more on the deepest levels than I have most human beings. I don't usually.... sync up with humanity, but with animals I do, with animals I communicate best, and can speak from heart to heart.
It was a pretty wonderful thing to laugh and spend a night on that full moon ("Silver horses, ran down moonbeams..." makes sense in the song 'The white room' a lot more than it used to after that trip lol) with Gil. It gave me comfort to know one day I'll find him again... and while he's far, we're all connected in life, which bridges the gap, making us a lot closer... making us still be able to give and receive love to one another... I feel him sometimes, as I do others I've loved. The other night I was hallucinating my dog who died on my birthday this year... I heard his bark... I smelled him fill the room.... I accept that I'm probably just crazy, but sometimes I really can feel a spirit of someone I love coming to comfort me when shit is bad... -
2017-07-18 at 9:24 PM UTC
Originally posted by NARCassist you wasn't very specific on the number of jars tho. its difficult to multiply $212 by 'dozens' to get a substantial answer.
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there was what... 8 jars in the pic. that's over 1600$ right there. That's what I meant by "do the math" just with what was at my finger tips at the moment... 1600$ worth of T-PAIN sodium I've gone through.
Originally posted by mashlehash I'm fail rapping in my garage right now.
You took a shower and never came back... and you don't fail rap, you're actually pretty fucking good at it.
