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Do you steal?

  1. #1
    As in like physical, tangible things like shoplifting or secretly taking stuff from your friends. Not talking about pirating shit, we all do that.

    If you steal, what's your motivation: Necessity? Gotta-have-it-right-now impulsiveness? Shits and giggles? Thrill? Revenge?... and do you only do it when you're piss broke, or do you have plenty of money but still do it anyway?

    I ask because I just realized I've never had the desire to lift anything..I've always either had enough money to buy what I'm looking at or, me being my frugal self just thinking "Eh, don't want it that bad anyway".

  2. #2
    The only thing I've ever stolen were some cigarettes back when I was 15 or so. I look older, so the cashier didn't think twice about going to get the pack and putting it on the counter before asking for ID. Took it and ran. Got half a blowjob for it, so it was worth it.
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  3. #3
    No officer.
  4. #4
    No I'm not a nigger
  5. #5
    trippymindfuk African Astronaut
    Me and my ex GF used to work at Walmart and I was stealing so much shit from there it wasn't funny. I would mainly take duster and robitussin, delsym, and coricidin. I also liked starbuck's coffee, lighters, beef jerky.....that kind of stuff. I was fucked up at the time (still am, really....) and it was to basically supplement my income so I could spend more on drugs but then I realized how easy it was...

    I also worked at a dollar store and ganked a lot of shit from there, too. I don't steal anymore, though....It's bad! I got away with all the shit I did and figured I should stop while I'm ahead.
  6. #6
    I used to when I was like a teenager but the consequences are too severe if I get caught as an adult, plus I have enough money to buy whatever I want anyways usually, so it's no problem.

    But once I knew this tweeker who would just walk around walmart for like 8 hours shooting meth in the bathroom and inspecting everything in the store and stealing shit, and I bought some ativan off him for $20, and he put the 20 in his back pocket but it fell out and he was spun as fuck and didn't notice so I grabbed it back.
  7. #7
    Originally posted by trippymindfuk Me and my ex GF used to work at Walmart and I was stealing so much shit from there it wasn't funny. I would mainly take duster and robitussin, delsym, and coricidin. I also liked starbuck's coffee, lighters, beef jerky…..that kind of stuff. I was fucked up at the time (still am, really….) and it was to basically supplement my income so I could spend more on drugs but then I realized how easy it was…

    I also worked at a dollar store and ganked a lot of shit from there, too. I don't steal anymore, though….It's bad! I got away with all the shit I did and figured I should stop while I'm ahead.

    Ooooh you just reminded me. When I was 15 (I did a lot of benzos around this time) my friend worked in a small Walmart like place. Kinda like an even shittier K-mart. Late at night it'd just be him, someone else, and a manager. A few times, with different managers, I'd call and ask for help with something, distracting them. Meanwhile, he'd be getting off his shift and checking out with someone who was in on it (lots of them did this apparently) and he'd give him crazy discounts for coupons which they never collected. I don't even know what he bought but I got free benzos for it everytiem, so it must've been good.
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  8. #8
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    I think the only time I stole shit was when I was really fucked up on benzo's and I didn't remember it anyway.
    I just had a bunch of random shit I could not explain.
  9. #9
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by greenplastic I used to when I was like a teenager but the consequences are too severe if I get caught as an adult, plus I have enough money to buy whatever I want anyways usually, so it's no problem.

    This, shoplifting is probably the worst risk/reward ratio of any crime people commit for money. Being an assassin is probably less risky given the relative payouts
  10. #10
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    When I worked at the pizza shop dowtown, I stole, aaaaalll the time I would eat pizzia and pasta and not ring it up with my employee discount, and I did it just because my boss was an an asshole. Then I started stealing from the register when it was really busy and I was at the register.

    During sxsw I stacked up about 100 real quick then asked to go on a cig break and cut it out after that. Then at the company meeting when they asked if we had any questions I brought up how we were shorted on our checks (they didn't like that) and they quit holding company meetings because their idiots
  11. #11
    Originally posted by Lanny This, shoplifting is probably the worst risk/reward ratio of any crime people commit for money. Being an assassin is probably less risky given the relative payouts

    Lol, no it's not. Shoplifting is usually just a ticket or a week or so in jail. I'm not saying its good to have on your record, but being caught assassinating people for money will totally ruin your life forever. Expect at least a decade in prison, and that's generous. Good luck getting a job after prison when your background check comes back saying that you were a fucking assassin.
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  12. #12
    snab_snib African Astronaut
    i used to shoplift pretty hard, but i've never actually stolen from another individual that i can recall. actually, now that i think about it, in middle school, we had a temporary school, so kids kept their stuff just laying in cubbies in halls. i stole lunches from other kids every day.
  13. #13
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby When I worked at the pizza shop dowtown, I stole, aaaaalll the time I would eat pizzia and pasta and not ring it up with my employee discount, and I did it just because my boss was an an asshole. Then I started stealing from the register when it was really busy and I was at the register.

    During sxsw I stacked up about 100 real quick then asked to go on a cig break and cut it out after that. Then at the company meeting when they asked if we had any questions I brought up how we were shorted on our checks (they didn't like that) and they quit holding company meetings because their idiots

    Jesus christ you're an idiot.
  14. #14
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Discount Whore Jesus christ you're an idiot.

    how so? cause i didnt steal enough? I sure did steal a lot of kalamata olives lol
  15. #15
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby how so? cause i didnt steal enough? I sure did steal a lot of kalamata olives lol

    I cannot think of a more stupid way to steal than from the register at your own work where they have your name, address, and social security number. And aren't you a convicted felon already? They could've tacked that on as another felony depending on your states laws.

    How much did you steal?
  16. #16
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Lanny This, shoplifting is probably the worst risk/reward ratio of any crime people commit for money. Being an assassin is probably less risky given the relative payouts

    This, although it was kind of a fun challenge, researching stores, techniques, items I wanted, the feeling of getting away with it, once you walk out that door and are out of range of loss prevention.

    Bay area pro-tip: Macy's in Walnut Creek has fairly poor security and jeans you can easily sell for over $100. Coming home packed with stolen items and selling them for benjies is a good feeling.

    I really wish I had seen the day when that stupid bitch ShadyLady was caught (she was actually alright, although incredibly flawed, which practically goes without saying around here).
  17. #17
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Discount Whore I cannot think of a more stupid way to steal than from the register at your own work where they have your name, address, and social security number. And aren't you a convicted felon already? They could've tacked that on as another felony depending on your states laws.

    How much did you steal?

    dude you sound like a pussy, I stole over a thousand dollars over 7 months which isnt that much and we all did it together and there was plenty of other things to get fired for at that place.

    One of the managers called me a few days ago to see how I was doing and said that she misses me and will be sending out my tax info soon. I was actually a really good employee.
  18. #18
    The existence and prevalence of petty shoplifting in the western world in this day and age is genuinely a saddening phenomenon to me. Like it honestly hurts my heart.

    So many things have to go wrong for someone to think it's not only morally okay, but also a good idea in general to risk public humiliation, a start to their criminal record and possibly legal punishment over some dumb shit you can literally earn by working 1 honest day at McDonald's.

    There is this gay as fuck "lifting" subculture now where shitty negresses on Tumblr boast about how they shoplifted make up and fashion items. Like really bitch? Do you have no self respect? Are you really going to lower yourself to pilfering some shitty $15 Maybelline lipstick?

    What that says to me is that you have no control over your impulses and aren't an adult. You cannot understand the importance of doing without certain things, and staying within your means, and don't want to take the effort to improve your financial means either. It's the ultimate case of wanting to eat your cake, and have it too.
  19. #19
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    ^lol u get on tumblr? thats pretty gay bro

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  20. #20
    I thought so too... But it's literally a personally tailored feed of pornography. No joke, go try it yourself. It's amazing.
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