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2020-01-23 at 6 AM UTC
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2020-01-23 at 6:48 AM UTC
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2020-01-23 at 6:49 AM UTCPage 38 bitches! I have Guiness right where I want them! Keep it up guys!
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2020-01-23 at 6:59 AM UTC
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2020-01-23 at 7:13 AM UTC
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2020-01-23 at 7:20 AM UTC
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2020-01-23 at 7:20 AM UTC
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2020-01-23 at 7:36 AM UTC
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN Like I pay attention to user names. You guys are a riot. A GOOD story gets pic.
Ok well this story isn't good but I'll tell it anyway.
So.
Well just now I walked into the parking ramp where we parked and this native american was on fake emergency phone and he was having heart pains apparently and wanted me to call 911 so I did and I gave him the phone and he just mumbled drunken shitninto the operators voice and eventually a cop showed up and took him to the hospital.
That's not my story though.
Hmm. One time I was blackout drunk and drove to the waffle house with my friend Darrin and I got pulled over while I was pulling into the parking lot. Thata kinda the worst way to go. And you tell the dude "I'm literally at my destination just fuxking let me go" and then of course the faggot cop knows and just wants to get his dui bust :( -
2020-01-24 at 2:05 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ Ok well this story isn't good but I'll tell it anyway.
So.
Well just now I walked into the parking ramp where we parked and this native american was on fake emergency phone and he was having heart pains apparently and wanted me to call 911 so I did and I gave him the phone and he just mumbled drunken shitninto the operators voice and eventually a cop showed up and took him to the hospital.
That's not my story though.
Hmm. One time I was blackout drunk and drove to the waffle house with my friend Darrin and I got pulled over while I was pulling into the parking lot. Thata kinda the worst way to go. And you tell the dude "I'm literally at my destination just fuxking let me go" and then of course the faggot cop knows and just wants to get his dui bust :(
*edited* -
2020-01-24 at 2:07 AM UTC
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2020-01-24 at 2:12 AM UTCI have a few I've written before but I think they're probably lost so I'll have to rewrite
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2020-01-24 at 3:15 AM UTCOne time, at our old party house, a girl showed up that had busted out all her front teef. She was drunkenly biking down a hill a few nights before and face planted. She was probably half retarded. So I was trying to get with her.
She's playing coy, mumbling around her gums and shit. Apparently at one point I remember wrapping my arms around her from the porch and walking her into my room. Everyone else tells the story that I threw her over my shoulder and stomped to my room with her like a cave man.
In my room I'm trying to get with her and I was still a virgin at the time. So I'm just knocking it out of the park saying things like, "I know you're greasy. Show me the ropes." I don't think girls like a man that doesn't take control and I was putting the ball in her court.
We start making out and I try to stick my tongue in her mouth. She winces because I forgot I'm making out with a chick that has no front teef that's half retarded. Nothing happens that night and Poasts mom comes into the room in the morning to get something for him. Poast and I shared a room. I was such a loser with the ladies I couldn't seal that deal. At one point, she's not giving anything up I walk to the porch to smoke. A buddy is out there and I kick a milk crate across the yard over his Whoop DeVille. He just tells me, "Now you know how I feel when chicks don't give it up." The next day I tell him I'm glad I didn't hit his car with the crate. He replied, "That was a pretty impressive kick considering you were barefoot."
Here's a picture of when a marine was going to arm wrestle a girl for a kiss. If he lost he had to kiss PooBear. He spaced out and lost by not paying attention when it started. She slammed him down and they made good on the bet. When everyone wanted to see them kiss and pushed them to do it, PooBear stuck out his hand. The baby killing marine yelled, "I will not shake your hand!" And goes for it. That's probably the most evidence I have of something that happened. I have multiple pictures and audio of it.
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2020-01-24 at 3:40 AM UTCI feel we're getting close to page 39!
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2020-01-24 at 3:43 AM UTCI need thanks for a story
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2020-01-24 at 3:44 AM UTC
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2020-01-24 at 3:46 AM UTCOk so I posted two stories and didnt get a new custom lolcat.
OP is a fraud. Save your stories. -
2020-01-24 at 3:47 AM UTC
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2020-01-24 at 3:48 AM UTC
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2020-01-24 at 3:51 AM UTC
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2020-01-24 at 3:52 AM UTC