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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2016-06-15 at 10:27 PM UTC
Ahw, does it offend your feminine sensibilities? Drink bleach, SJW cuck.
Just looking out for the site. Rational self-interest and all that. -
2016-06-16 at 9:44 AM UTC
Just looking out for the site. Rational self-interest and all that.
Drink bleach anyway. I'm not posting anything actually illegal out of respect for Lanny, i'm allowed to post clothed lolis and vocaroo clips of little girls saying hot things and in return i keep it legal. It's a social contract if ever there were one. -
2016-06-16 at 1:05 PM UTCOoga booga
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2016-06-16 at 1:30 PM UTCTook 15 x 50mg tramadol after taking some really nice speed and had a seizure. My friends thought I was dying ha. My legs fucking hurt the next day tho.
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2016-06-16 at 1:31 PM UTCAnd then my cunt friends made me flush the rest of my tramadol and codeine down the toilet otherwise they'd kick me out.
And then the next day were more than happy to feed me mandy and speed again. I don't get it either. -
2016-06-16 at 1:34 PM UTCAlright, I'll say it. Sophie is a fake pedo. He's pretending to be edgy.
It's like guy who posts women all the time. "I love tits, oh my god look at this photo of this woman, oh my god so hot", but he's really gay. -
2016-06-17 at 2:17 AM UTC
Drink bleach anyway. I'm not posting anything actually illegal out of respect for Lanny, i'm allowed to post clothed lolis and vocaroo clips of little girls saying hot things and in return i keep it legal. It's a social contract if ever there were one.
You weren't even the one that made the post I linked to, and I don't know what was contained in that image you posted, I was simply concerned. I've no problem as long as you keep it legal, it's just that Lanny had stated that he doesn't want anything that could get him involved in any legal actions, he'd hand over what was requested if subpeonaed, and give the lack of improvements on a simple message board over such a long period of time, which for an alleged coder of Lanny's level should be fairly simple, I believe it reflects that a community of this nature, small, composed of refugees many times over some clinging to the only social community they have left (I'm one of them) or an idealized memory of what TOTSE stood for and never really was (Spectral), quite honestly doesn't quite deserve even that effort; as time goes on an he advances in life he could well lose interest.
Actually, unless there's a massive bubble pop that never quite rebounds, some tragedy in his life, or a major shift in industry, Lanny's peak career earnings should be more than enough to simply pay someone else to do the work for him. Think of my analysis and how much suffering you would cause us, quite realistically potentially leading many down the path of suicide (www.theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2011/05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html), you faux-utilitarian. -
2016-06-17 at 4:43 AM UTCAlso, received my pyrazolam today. May have had some residual solvent(s) based on the slight scent I detected, but I immediately thought "How bad can it be?", then applied it sublingual with vinopectine (strong local vasodilation), not even having the benefits of hte gastrointestinal or hepatic system offering some protection because unsurprisingly I no longer value my health much since the odds are I won't live long anyway. It's also a yellowish color, so it could be a somewhat shitty since/poorly purified. Someone on RCSources noticed this too, they said they had recently received some that was orange and not water soluble, which pyrazolam is supposed to be and stated they were going to send it to Energy Control for testing. Another person stated that in their experience this was standard for the pyrazolam they had received from sources and that it still had the intended effects, but that changes nothing.
As for the effects, it's pretty much exactly what I wanted, very selective anxiolysis without side effects. It's neither fun nor interesting, and isn't meant to be, but very therapeutic and when I was researching GABA-A subreceptors came across some valuable information that leads me to believe that benzos of this nature could be sustaible in the long-term and avoid the long-term risks that have been found, mainly a greatly increased risk for dementia and alzheimer's. /end review
There are some very promising novel anxiolytics in the pipeline (http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/02/26/5-new-anxiety-medications-in-development-2015/). Actually, they don't seem particularly promising at all and most don't pan out. May have been thinking of some in some of my files.
My ideal drug would have been this, although Nardil is the best choice for me because I also need the potent anti-depressive effects, but the synthesis didn't scale due to random explosions (you are dealing with hydrazine), which I may have found the cause of, and another veteran user who haqd attempted it a few months before stated that it was purification that was difficult,
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2016-06-17 at 6:24 AM UTC
Also, received my pyrazolam today. May have had some residual solvent(s) based on the slight scent I detected, but I immediately thought "How bad can it be?", then applied it sublingual with vinopectine (strong local vasodilation), not even having the benefits of hte gastrointestinal or hepatic system offering some protection because unsurprisingly I no longer value my health much since the odds are I won't live long anyway. It's also a yellowish color, so it could be a somewhat shitty since/poorly purified. Someone on RCSources noticed this too, they said they had recently received some that was orange and not water soluble, which pyrazolam is supposed to be and stated they were going to send it to Energy Control for testing. Another person stated that in their experience this was standard for the pyrazolam they had received from sources and that it still had the intended effects, but that changes nothing.
As for the effects, it's pretty much exactly what I wanted, very selective anxiolysis without side effects. It's neither fun nor interesting, and isn't meant to be, but very therapeutic and when I was researching GABA-A subreceptors came across some valuable information that leads me to believe that benzos of this nature could be sustaible in the long-term and avoid the long-term risks that have been found, mainly a greatly increased risk for dementia and alzheimer's. /end review
There are some very promising novel anxiolytics in the pipeline (http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/02/26/5-new-anxiety-medications-in-development-2015/). Actually, they don't seem particularly promising at all and most don't pan out. May have been thinking of some in some of my files.
My ideal drug would have been this, although Nardil is the best choice for me because I also need the potent anti-depressive effects, but the synthesis didn't scale due to random explosions (you are dealing with hydrazine), which I may have found the cause of, and another veteran user who haqd attempted it a few months before stated that it was purification that was difficult,
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What vendor do you use? also how does pyrazolam compare to alprazolam or etizolam
also gettin sum hbwr seeds on monday -
2016-06-18 at 12:46 AM UTC
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2016-06-18 at 1:41 AM UTCWireheading set to induce pleasure for activities we consider beneficial. Or at leats greater pleasure, there already is the basal hedonic state. Of course no pleasure at all while not engaging in those activities would be problematic. "Man is something to be surpassed." The creation of a new ___ man. This could be far more feasible, occur much sooner, than editing genes.
I had a thought: Do buddhist monks achieve a state similar to wireheading? The majority don't seem to produce much benefit for others. Other than the inner peace/psychological health-stability, introspection/understanding of the self and the nature of the consciousness and (human) existence, which could well be severely flawed and still requires knowledge (neuroscience, genetics). But for the primary, pain/instability could be prevented. Secondary, of questionable benefit in this state and ideally left to something superior, such as Kurtzweil's idea of nanobots connecting the human brain/mind to a cloud like interface.
I ws looking for an old post related to this so I could quote you saying why this wouldn't work, although I hadn't expounded on it, and never bothered to look into this, which you mentioned: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_a_Strange_LoopNot particularly but that would be a good strategy. I was just tripping on what I'm thinking was 25I and was thinking about Hofstadter's "consciousness as recursion" theory and how there are some interesting isomorphisms between subjective cognitive experience and the lambda calculus model of computation(eval/apply) that don't exist with the turing machine model.
It's actually a pretty simple idea although it has profound and complex implications, I just know you're not interested in computer science and would likely never take the time to learn about it.
It surfaced a faint memory of having come to the conclusion/idea that I would define consciousness in part as self-referential system. Amusingly, it may have been during a trip as well, who knows how long ago.
"lambda calculus model of computation(eval/apply)"
Of course I don't understand this, and at the time stated that I wouldn't look into it in part because I thought you were attempting to manipulate me in a playful way. You make me feel inadequate and inferior, which I am. Poorer verbal/communicative skills are no surprise (autism and use it or lose it), along with the incredible damage I've done. All I have is neuroscience, pharmacology, my systemization of humanity, which is a large part of what made me so miserable.
I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I'm just very depressed. I can't see any way out of this and I don't know whether there's anything to lose to begin with. -
2016-06-18 at 5 AM UTC
All I have is neuroscience, pharmacology, my systemization of humanity, which is a large part of what made me so miserable.
Why do you "have" neuroscience and pharmacology though? You like to act like they're means to an end, that phase where you were trying to build the perfect nootropic stack, but I'm not sure I buy that story (I'm sure you realize our ability to make up a convenient explanation of our actions, I see this in myself pretty regularly and I'm sure it goes deeper than just the cases where it's noticeable). There's something there, in the gritty technical details, that draws you towards it isn't there? I don't think a person could spend as much time and effort you have, as I have, on learning a thing if there wasn't something intrinsically motivating in it.
Sometimes I feel a wierd spiritual union with athletes, I loathe physicality, it's brute and disgusting, and their aesthetics are exactly contrary to my own. Yet I think they, the good ones at least, understand on some non-intellectual level the "thrill of the chase", the "flow state", the blissful and incomparable and quietly intense divorce from reality that comes from committing one's whole being to a thing. Sports are stupid, computer science is stupid, everything is stupid and there will never be external reason to believe otherwise and yet the struggle is psychologically rewarding and maybe that's all there is.
To me eval/apply is fascinating in a different way than my phone or a good book is, it's not contingent on external realities. Like take a book and start stripping away experiences from my psyche and eventually it stops making sense, books are only good in so far as they connect to our experiential backgrounds in some way. But formal systems don't rely on that, they take seemingly fundamental ("transcendental" in the kantian sense) elements of our existence (causality, implication, truth and falsity) and from the most primitive elements of the mind build up to something greater, seemingly independent of the subjectivity that may house them for a time.
Some things just seem to have the property of being intrinsically valuable or at least worthy of our attention, beyond rationality because what line of logic could ever justify or deny psychological states? I'm not sure if I can say it's right or wrong to engage fully in those pursuits, again there's a fundamental subjectivity in such things, but I can say the only times I've ever truly felt satisfied is when everything else in the world fell into the background of some technical problem, the intense struggle with some new concept. I remember working on a mesh construction problem, over the course of three days I think I ate a few slices of bread when I started to feel faint. Buddhists describe desire as the root of suffering, when you bend yourself to a task so fully that all other desires are eclipsed, acknowledged only when they come to interfere with the primary purpose of one's being, to me that's pure bliss. I think you know what that headstate is, and I don't know man, maybe I'm just grasping at straws, but I think if we acknowledge that sort of egoless state of focus as something worthwhile on its own rather than some means to some trivial end then that's worth something. There is no way out, but at least it's a way to come to terms with a fundamentally indifferent universe. -
2016-06-18 at 8:41 PM UTC
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2016-06-19 at 2:30 AM UTCWell Im leaving florida in a few days with my child, dogs, cats and macaw. Finally going where Ill have more help, a safe place for my animals, and where I can get the work I need done on my truck cheap and/or buy a new vehicle. Im thibking of buying either a cargo van or a camper. In the beginning of August, after my roommate is done at the Rainbow family gathering, him, §m£ÂgØL and I are going to drive out west and go see a bunch of shit with the baby. My dogs have a perment place and will be well cared for and Ill see them again soon enough and this finally gives me the freedom to do the shit Ive eanted to do a long time ago but was too scared and/or had shit stop me- its not gonna stop me this time. Im having a lot of anxiety for moving, having pnuemonia at the same time and trying to pack with a year old baby but hey... things will be miles better soon. Literally no later than thursday. Planning to go tuesday though.
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2016-06-19 at 12:17 PM UTCSomething strange is going on today and I don't know how to feel about it. My broken laptop fixed itself, my phone which doesn't like to charge got to 100%, my old broken phone is even working somewhat, my netflix account I got a free trial for and didn't pay after that first month is even working and I checked and I can't see them taking money out my account. I don't know why things are going in my favour and it scares me because it means soon I'm going to have some really bad luck to even it out.
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2016-06-19 at 1:34 PM UTC
Something strange is going on today and I don't know how to feel about it. My broken laptop fixed itself, my phone which doesn't like to charge got to 100%, my old broken phone is even working somewhat, my netflix account I got a free trial for and didn't pay after that first month is even working and I checked and I can't see them taking money out my account. I don't know why things are going in my favour and it scares me because it means soon I'm going to have some really bad luck to even it out.
Opium for the masses. They took your drugs away so now they have to use other artificial dopamine despensers like free Netflix to keep you from rioting in the streets. -
2016-06-19 at 1:38 PM UTCThey actually have taken my drugs away, I've been sober since Wednesday.
You know, if you discount the 4 litres of cider and 500mg codeine. -
2016-06-19 at 1:48 PM UTCIt's the truth, though.
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2016-06-19 at 8:56 PM UTC
Something strange is going on today and I don't know how to feel about it. My broken laptop fixed itself, my phone which doesn't like to charge got to 100%, my old broken phone is even working somewhat, my netflix account I got a free trial for and didn't pay after that first month is even working and I checked and I can't see them taking money out my account. I don't know why things are going in my favour and it scares me because it means soon I'm going to have some really bad luck to even it out.
Don't worry, there is no karmic system. -
2016-06-19 at 9:02 PM UTCDoesnt matter if you believe in karma or not, everything ends everything changes and what I think he means is that before too much longer its likely equally shitty things will happen. All I can say is to just enjoy the high while it lasts.
