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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

  1. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Drove over got the IV catheter and stopped and got distilled water and threw some salt in, shook it up and IVed her fluids at my friends house.

    Now I don't know what to do about this- it look nacrotic. Anyone got any advice on treating venomous shit like this? I thinks she's got over the first hurdle, now it's just figuring out how to go about treating this shit.

    Just because I operate in a backyard doesn't mean I am untrained or ineducated,

    There are the parts that would have me worried if I was your dog
  2. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Also the no paragraphs thing, but for different reasons
  3. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    "Please, PLEASE kill me. "

    -Hydro's dog
  4. mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    My dad was trained. He wasn't far off from being a vet. He worked in an office for about a year. I've stitched an animal or two in my life, I have disolvable sutures, we've also stapled before (it's actually a better method and heals faster according to shit I've read up on it). I've on a few occaisions got a call at 3am and had to grab my medical bag and drive off to a friends house and do some doctoring. Most of those were hard labors though involving cows, goats and horses, and even a few bitched and their pups. I've tackled Parvo in puppies, hit and run victims, pneumonia and random injuries ranging from a dog fight to a dog catching his hard dick on barbed wire fence. At this point in time, this dog is eating, drinking, playing, and going out to the bathroom- her pain level is extremely low if not non-existent. Friday, she was bad, not in oain, just labored breathing and extremely dehydrated Anda simple line and some sub-Qing of fluids over the course of a few hours brought her around to where she was eating,drinking, and otherwise being normal. It would be stupid to euthanize her now when now this caulks up to some basic wound care,antibiotics and possible treatment of 'proud flesh'. I've lost a dog many years ago to a snake bite, but speaking with specialist and a few other vets and techs today, they all agree it's sounds unlikely without antivenin that she's would suffer so mildly, but that it took a day for the swelling it become noticeable isn't that far out, most owners bring in snake bit dogs actually SEE the dog bit. In every aspect it does sound like a rattlebite considering how the bite is opening up like it is. At this point it's unlikely she would receive antivenin,especially considering how she currently is-100% stable and normal for all things other than. This swelling and wound opening. Just because I operate in a backyard doesn't mean I am untrained or ineducated, or that I dont seek medical advice (I've got UF vet department I harass, and a few other vets I'll call and nag, especially with shit like this that I've never encountered before.) As for pain related issues, I've got drugs used to put dogs/horses under for surgery. I know dosages. I've used them before. I would go on the streets to buy opiates,and I have, While seeing a doctor treating my chronic pain and being prescribed opiates myself, I weaned myself off when my dog, who was aging with arthritis was given my pain meds as he needed them at increasing frequency and dosage. He gained 2 more years of a quality life due to that and the last month of his life I was buying and giving him high dosesof morphine, feeding him anything he wanted including steak, fresh Cooked chicken and pork and vanilla icecream. I treat mydogs well despite my financial status- my dogs get better care than most black people get. I witnessed this at the ER just the other night- a black man seizured for over 15 minutes before they got around to dosing him with what I believe to be valium- which honestly, it was obvious as day he was seizuring, and is a painful thing to experience and should not have taken that long to determine he needed valium.



    does anybody actually read this wall of text
  5. Lanny Bird of Courage
    does anybody actually read this wall of text

    The non-linearity of it kinda draws you in. Like maybe you read the first sentence or two expecting to stop there but then there's words that you're just like "why, why are those there? I have no idea what that means or where it came from" and suddenly you feel compelled to continue reading to try and glean their origin, to unravel the mystery of why the phrase "dog catching his hard dick on barbed wire fence" is on your screen. The payoff's about a one in five chance of ever happening I find but it's the thrill of the chase that makes it fun.
  6. hydro is a meme
  7. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    I'm on my phone- it's a pain in the ass to type anything for me. I've known doctors who suffered from dyslexia and couldnt spell a fucking thing right and frankly, 9 times out of 10, the pharmacist needs to call the office for all write scripts because they just can't read their fucking handwriting, so I don't see how my spelling errors have anything to do with my ability to doctor my dog. No, I've never dealt with a snake bite or wound like this before, this is new territory, and for some of the vets I spoke to, it would be for them as well, they were going on textbook cases when we tried to determine what is going on with her. I did speak to 2 vets who have encountered what I've described and shown them- the only difference here is that they are surprised as all get up that she hadn't gone down harder, or stayed down longer, but they think it's because she didn't get a lot of venom in her. I'm heading to the vet supply store now to get more bandages and other shit I'm gonna need to treat her. She's doing great save for this gapping hole in her neck that looks like a torn up pussy. If you didn't see it, and just judged her health on her energy level, being happy wagging her tail,and that she eats,drinks and goes outside to the bathroom regularly, and has no fever you'd never even think anything was wrong with her-even if she did get a very low dose of venom in her, she's one tough pup to have pulled around this well. (FYI- I actually did doctor a dog who's dick got caught on a barbed wire fence,he sliced in up good and I thought he got shot in the gut when he came home bleeding from his abdomen. Finally saw his dick and he had a nasty slice, but it healed up good so all is well that ends well). Off to load up on medical supplies.
  8. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Also, ask your self this: how many lives have you saved from your background knowledge and intuition? I can say at least a dozen and even those I was unsuccessful with, I curbed their suffering. I have tried when people like you would have just resigned them to death and actually successfully brought a lot a long healthy life. I don't forsee any reason my dog won't pull through thisas she's got over the worst of it so far. I treat animals the way I would want to be treated. I've had to put a bullet in a dogs head before, I'm not shy of putting something out of its misery, but I won't when there is a good chance of actually saving their life.
  9. does anybody actually read this wall of text
    No.

    It's really making me mad. I think it's pissing me off more than Rocklin. What's wrong with you, hydro?

    On the upper right of the text box are 3 symbols. A folder(?), a big A and a smiley. The big A opens the "editor", it's nothing confusing, though. It just allows line breaks and other features so if you write out fucking essays please use the editor by pressing the big A. Then just randomly press the enter key on your keyboard every now and then, ok?


    THANK YOU!
  10. &Zenith Yung Blood
    I feel bad for Hydro's dog
  11. I not sure a dog-sized animal would still be alive 24 hours after a rattlesnake bite. In any case a vet is the obvious move. Do a kickstarter or something, IDK, just killing the poor animal would seem better than back alley untrained dog surgery

    Just saying, there's a lot of snakes and spiders which deliver a dry bite or even a low-dose bite. Rattlesnakes will actually do dry or low-dose bites a lot depending on the species, venom is pretty costly to produce for snakes and they tend not to waste it defending themselves from stuff they can't eat. The act of biting itself is usually a good enough deterrent.

    (Assuming a low dose bite...) For animals with neurotoxic/hemotoxic venom like most rattlesnakes have, this will usually maybe sometimes turn out okay for the victim, biggest risk here after the symptoms from the initial injection have passed, is infection (and possibly blood clotting but, you know.) Necrotic venom on the other hand, is not so easy to deal with without anti-venom. Shits ugly.
  12. &Zenith Yung Blood
    Snake venom is some shit. http://i.imgur.com/yT0qc.gif
  13. Lanny Bird of Courage
    I'm on my phone- it's a pain in the ass to type anything for me.

    I don't see why that means you have to ignore the fact that paragraphs exist. Enter is like the second biggest key on your screen, typing 5 more keystrokes in a wall of text isn't exactly going to grind your posting to a halt.

    I've known doctors who suffered from dyslexia and couldnt spell a fucking thing right and frankly, 9 times out of 10, the pharmacist needs to call the office for all write scripts because they just can't read their fucking handwriting, so I don't see how my spelling errors have anything to do with my ability to doctor my dog.

    I have a hard time believing people who do 8 to 10 years of higher education would think "ineducated" is a word but if there are such people I certainly wouldn't choose them to be my doctor. It's not to say you couldn't conceivably be a good doctor with poor language skills but it does seem like a fairly reliable proxy.

    gapping hole in her neck that looks like a torn up pussy.

    Again, this is not giving me a lot of confidence that your dog is going to be A-OK, but then I guess I'm not the one you're trying to convince.
  14. Show me your dong, no homo tho.
  15. http://tinychat.com/tinybltc
  16. Drinking vodka on a work night, fml.
  17. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Drinking vodka on a work night, fml.


    I'll drink to that
  18. Lanny, having seen the dog's wound it'll probably be fine. No surgery required, just a wound to be kept clean from infection. If it was gonna die it would've already.
  19. When I come back from having a bbq on Oxy and benzos I'll try once again to post my RIP Crazymike thread. Until then, fuck all of you.
  20. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Hydro:
    Drove over got the IV catheter and stopped and got distilled water and threw some salt in, shook it up and IVed her fluids at my friends house.

    Hydro:
    Now I don't know what to do about this- it look nacrotic. Anyone got any advice on treating venomous shit like this? I thinks she's got over the first hurdle, now it's just figuring out how to go about treating this shit.

    Hydro
    Just because I operate in a backyard doesn't mean I am untrained or ineducated,


    There are the parts that would have me worried if I was your dog

    Perfectly fine if you sterilize it. Even if you don't, it still may be. Think of junkies. Animals generally have far stronger immune systems than first world humans due to our mass usage of sanitation.

    Typo. Necrotic. Although it is a standard part of venom and certain infections. Tissue dying isn't necessarily life threatening unless it's on a mass scale or spreads.

    Ineducated=typo. Do you know how farms castrate animals? At least the smaller farms (I don't know how things may have changed), mass ones have everything assembly lined due to their massive capital base. Most procedures are fine without a clean room, particularly for animals (once again, immune system strength).

    I don't see why that means you have to ignore the fact that paragraphs exist. Enter is like the second biggest key on your screen, typing 5 more keystrokes in a wall of text isn't exactly going to grind your posting to a halt.



    I have a hard time believing people who do 8 to 10 years of higher education would think "ineducated" is a word but if there are such people I certainly wouldn't choose them to be my doctor. It's not to say you couldn't conceivably be a good doctor with poor language skills but it does seem like a fairly reliable proxy.



    Again, this is not giving me a lot of confidence that your dog is going to be A-OK, but then I guess I'm not the one you're trying to convince.

    ​Hydro uses her phone. Doesn't excuse not using paragraphs (Well, it shouldn't. I don't know what would prevent it.)

    Phone + walls of text/an enormous amount of characters (I put one of her emails though one one time, it was like 2K words) = greater likelihood for typos to be missed. Besides, we all goof once in a while, at different rates. It's like your vs you're, of course most intelligent people know the difference.

    True.

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