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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

  1. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by reject Makes you wonder what those 22 countries did that was so bad we didn't deem them worthy

    Be total shitholes without significant resources by the looks of it
  2. Originally posted by RisiR You're going downhill fast boy. Your media is lying to you.

    You won't figure shit out and we will just go to war again as we always do. No biggie. I hope George Soros shits on your Pound one last time before he goes off on Europe.

    Last 2 wars Germany started didn't end too well for you guys
  3. Originally posted by reject Last 2 wars Germany started didn't end too well for you guys

    It took the whole world to join forces, though.

    1v1... Ha! Russia burned its own country down to escape us in their shitty winter.

    Do you really think some Muslims with ALDI bags can take us down? We aren't Britain, bro. We aren't addicted to jedi cock like you guys.
  4. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by RisiR It took the whole world to join forces, though.

    1v1… Ha! Russia burned its own country down to escape us in their shitty winter.

    Do you really think some Muslims with ALDI bags can take us down? We aren't Britain, bro. We aren't addicted to jedi cock like you guys.

    Obviously Slavs are untermenschen but to be fair, scorched earth was a pretty effective tactic.
  5. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by RisiR 1v1… Ha! Russia burned its own country down to escape us in their shitty winter.

    Tell us about freedom of speech or the extreme prosperity brought by EU that germans enjoy
  6. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Germans are some of the biggest cucks around, second only to Sweden.
  7. I was having the most beautiful dream staring at 2 teenage chicks asses then my alarm went off :(
  8. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I've used an internal alarm for many years now, and it's smart enough to know when I'm having a kewl dream to delay itself.
  9. I had to get up to go to the job centre.

    I also had a dream that I went to the docs about back pain to scam some pain meds and I got really excited when she got out her prescription book and then I read it and it fucking said Stimpaks because I've been playing fallout so much recently.

    I wanted fucking opiates, not Stimpaks
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by reject I had to get up to go to the job centre.

    I also had a dream that I went to the docs about back pain to scam some pain meds and I got really excited when she got out her prescription book and then I read it and it fucking said Stimpaks because I've been playing fallout so much recently.

    I wanted fucking opiates, not Stimpaks

    No opiates. Only Stimpaks.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. Standing in line to buy codeine and some old CUNT just blatantly cut in front of me. Fucking rude
  12. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Sucker punch that bitch. Papa don't play.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. I also still have no fucking clue what my pin code is which makes me think either my cards been cancelled, it's been cloned or I'm just a real dumbass
  14. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Hmmm. I had that happen to me at my last job. Used a 4-digit code to clock in and out and I went to clock out one day and it said it didn't recognize my number. I had done it subconsciously for so long that I sort of froze up and just kept putting in the same number and it kept telling me it was wrong, so I started doing different combinations of the same numbers and they were all wrong. Turns out that I, in fact, was a dumbass and just randomly forgot my fucking code that I had put in hundreds of times. I blame...drugs?
  15. Well, another Thursday.
  16. GOD BLESS YOU TAPEWORM!! EVEN STUFF THATS NOT FOOD!!

    (like a blender)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Osg61kyF3pE
  17. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Yes. YES. I wish to be FILLED to the BRIM with tapeworms. I want them DRIPPING AND LEAKING out of my holes. ALL OF MY HOLES.

    garbage pail brick yard cement nails nails
    tools rust screws nuts industrial scales
    bridge water metal hard support beam beam
    hard hat steel toe duct tape steam

    key-stroke keystone keylime pie
    buttersworth jemima 4th of july
    milk and honey milk and honey milk and honey; egg
    frankincense frankincense the mannequein's leg
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. the chemist cooked crack cocaine in a crime lab at night while working overtime.

    I could see him saying "it just seemed appropriate"
  19. Originally posted by mmQ Hmmm. I had that happen to me at my last job. Used a 4-digit code to clock in and out and I went to clock out one day and it said it didn't recognize my number. I had done it subconsciously for so long that I sort of froze up and just kept putting in the same number and it kept telling me it was wrong, so I started doing different combinations of the same numbers and they were all wrong. Turns out that I, in fact, was a dumbass and just randomly forgot my fucking code that I had put in hundreds of times. I blame…drugs?

    I blame sobriety, never had a problem remembering it when I was on drugs.

    I think I might have remembered it so I've written it down, it's close to what I was trying to put in but the numbers in a different order. I've probably blocked myself out of it by now anyway
  20. Holy fuck I love the Irish. I've complained about the hens I work with clucking and there never being any peace during smoke breaks.

    Im about to walk outside and this Irish guy I work with is like "Hope ya brought earplugs there's tree of them out there yacking now" I just went back upstairs and we both laughed

    And then he was talking to this other guy the day before and the guy said when he was on vacation his wife won't let him drink so the Irish guy says

    "Just slap her and tell her to stay home"

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