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The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
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2019-10-28 at 1:24 AM UTC
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2019-10-28 at 1:28 AM UTCUnstable Bladder
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2019-10-28 at 1:35 AM UTC
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2019-10-28 at 2:55 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo idk mang, I'm pretty dedicated, my white family members are freaked out
Do mexicans even have funerals or do they just throw them all in a hole on the outskirts of the town where chickens and dogs pick their rotting flesh apart?
Lol I can tell you've never been to a Mexican funeral. They are basically parties.
White funerals- Small, sad occasions where everyone dresses in black and maybe goes to church. There are some cold sandwiches and possibly some wine. You don't know half the people there because most of you have long since been distant to the deceased member you are now pretending to mourn.
Mexican funerals- Literally a party. Celebrate life instead of mourning it. People still wear black and they go to church, but there's a party right after. Church is usually flooded and there's no place to sit. Also it's fine if you show up in jeans and a tshirt. Food is made fresh and good as fuck. Expect goat cheese, beans, rice, chicken, enchiladas, horchata, multiple varieties of aguas frescas, maybe atole/champurrada and tamales if it's winter time, tostadas, tacos, and coca-cola. None of that pepsi shit.
You don't know who half the people are but it's because your family member was so celebrated and loved that they had people from all over who loved them. The last funeral I went to was for my uncle in a small village in between Zapopan and Oaxaca. My uncle went to that town 30 years ago as a priest and funded the money for a new church, a new school, a courtyard, and some cheap housing for the homeless population. He was beloved by all, and the party was about 3,000 strong. They literally had priests come in on a bus with some cardinal dude. I sung mariachi on stage, and later held his casket as we marched down the street in a parade. People were chanting, "Alejandro! Alejandro! Ya te vas! Alejandro! Alejandro! RA RA RA!" and then random people, men and women, young and old, would burst out sobbing. People were standing on the rooftops and throwing fireworks by hand. The entire town loved him, and he was ultimately buried under a statue they made for him, right in front of the church, surrounded by fresh flowers that get replaced weekly. During mass they rung the church bells three times, and set up chairs outside of the gates for people to sit and listen to mass on loudspeakers. I lifted my wheelchair'd grandmother up to look inside his casket.
My family paid absolutely zero of it. The townspeople paid for everything. That is how a Mexican funeral goes. It is an all day event and party. Not this 3-5pm white people garbage that your culture has. You probably won't believe a word of this, and that's fine. But I have sent pictures to a few members here right when it happened, with a video of me singing on stage. It's on youtube if you're smart enough to pick up on the details, but I know you aren't.
Mexicans are the master race. We respect our dead, and celebrate their life. White people neither respect their dead nor celebrate life. Hell, they don't even respect their living family members. Bet you haven't even talked to your mom today.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-10-28 at 3:14 AM UTCI didn't like my last username
Those depressing moments of clarity where I realize how lame my situation is must be avoided at all costs with chemicucks -
2019-10-28 at 3:38 AM UTCYeah Mexico is one big party
Went to my mexican friend's counsin's baptism and there was a DJ and Mexican dance which is basically going back in forth with other people in a circle and moving the circle as well. We drank until we threw up basically and then went went back to the residence and I got some action. -
2019-10-28 at 3:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by Vitamin G Lol I can tell you've never been to a Mexican funeral. They are basically parties.
White funerals- Small, sad occasions where everyone dresses in black and maybe goes to church. There are some cold sandwiches and possibly some wine. You don't know half the people there because most of you have long since been distant to the deceased member you are now pretending to mourn.
Mexican funerals- Literally a party. Celebrate life instead of mourning it. People still wear black and they go to church, but there's a party right after. Church is usually flooded and there's no place to sit. Also it's fine if you show up in jeans and a tshirt. Food is made fresh and good as fuck. Expect goat cheese, beans, rice, chicken, enchiladas, horchata, multiple varieties of aguas frescas, maybe atole/champurrada and tamales if it's winter time, tostadas, tacos, and coca-cola. None of that pepsi shit.
You don't know who half the people are but it's because your family member was so celebrated and loved that they had people from all over who loved them. The last funeral I went to was for my uncle in a small village in between Zapopan and Oaxaca. My uncle went to that town 30 years ago as a priest and funded the money for a new church, a new school, a courtyard, and some cheap housing for the homeless population. He was beloved by all, and the party was about 3,000 strong. They literally had priests come in on a bus with some cardinal dude. I sung mariachi on stage, and later held his casket as we marched down the street in a parade. People were chanting, "Alejandro! Alejandro! Ya te vas! Alejandro! Alejandro! RA RA RA!" and then random people, men and women, young and old, would burst out sobbing. People were standing on the rooftops and throwing fireworks by hand. The entire town loved him, and he was ultimately buried under a statue they made for him, right in front of the church, surrounded by fresh flowers that get replaced weekly. During mass they rung the church bells three times, and set up chairs outside of the gates for people to sit and listen to mass on loudspeakers. I lifted my wheelchair'd grandmother up to look inside his casket.
My family paid absolutely zero of it. The townspeople paid for everything. That is how a Mexican funeral goes. It is an all day event and party. Not this 3-5pm white people garbage that your culture has. You probably won't believe a word of this, and that's fine. But I have sent pictures to a few members here right when it happened, with a video of me singing on stage. It's on youtube if you're smart enough to pick up on the details, but I know you aren't.
Mexicans are the master race. We respect our dead, and celebrate their life. White people neither respect their dead nor celebrate life. Hell, they don't even respect their living family members. Bet you haven't even talked to your mom today.
wow, mexicans have large families, thanks for the news flash spic -
2019-10-28 at 3:42 AM UTC
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2019-10-28 at 4 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo nice, I think you mentioned that before, as being the last time you were in Mexico you were singing mariachi in front of a few thousand people on stage, or you possibly do that frequently in Mexico idk, I just remember you mentioning something similar before but not in the context of a funeral. That sounds like an awesome remembrance. The last funeral I went to was catholic and clinical, most white people funerals I've been to have been very weepy screamy and solumn at the same time and many people are intoxicated and numb while women cry and fuck their makeup up because they're usually sudden/tragic deaths. My favorite funeral I ever went to (also sudden) was my aunt who was part of the "motorcycle enthusiast lifestyle" as well as an employee (and dedicated volunteer) at the local hospital. So there were doctors and nurses and professionals as well as bikers wearing matching jackets in a show of solidarity coming in large processions into what seemed like a massive church filled to the brim. It was closed casket and it hard to hear over all the women screaming.
Afterwards, there was a biker procession leading us to another hall and the mood kind of changed and there was a lot of food and alcohol and me and my cousins ate a bunch of sweets and enjoyed the nicer mood seeing people in suits talk with bikers and my family just chillin being white trash in the middle of it. A few days before that me and my grandmother went to my uncles house in the morning where they had a conversation I didn't understand but I remember thinking my grandmother was being very mean to her son who had just lost his wife but when I got older I realized he was likely high on heroin and some random woman answered the door. My grandmother was pretty stoic when she wanted to be and would consider that weakness, even given the circumstances. Anyways, there is an annual charity bike run for the hospital she worked at in her name every year since (except this one for a really stupid reason) so she continues doing good things by working through others. Whats your gay uncle done beyond the grave besides remolest you in your dreams? I talked to both my mom and your mom today. My mom says she pities whatever poor mexican fool your mom sired.
It's interesting how different people and cultures interpret and deal with death, especially given context. Like your uncle lived a relatively long, probably happy fulfilling life, meanwhile so many people I've known and grown up with have died. I have a friend I grew up with who kind of went crazy from isolation and opiate addiction and thinks the deaths of all the people he grew up with (including 2 of his close cousins) were all related in an elaborate conspiracy and some their ghosts talk to them sometimes. I literally drove for almost 3 hours yesterday so my gf could visit the gravesite of her grandmother. It was the most picturesque gravesite I've ever seen and you had to drive over a tiny rickety bridge to get from the narrow coastal road to the cemetery, like it was on an island by itself. Peoples ideas of death and where people are are interesting to me. Muslims believe the quicker you're in the ground the better, for you to know peace and begin to receive the rewards. Muslims idea on the afterlife is so extremely vague, the only thing that seems certain is the way of calculating your sins vs your good deeds (very mathematical and I don't remember the formula other than you're rewarded for thinking a bad thought and not acting on it, which seems like a dangerous game to play) and basically no one has a concrete idea of the afterlife.
I think messycums are more apt to make shrines (absolutely verboten in Islam) for revered figures, similar to shintoism and the ancestor veneration in Japan, which is kind of weird, sort of like how they just declare people to be saints because they gave them a chicken once. Mexicans lionize people in a way that's kinda cute and tribal but I think some of the undiscovered tribes in papua new guinea have probably outgrown that already as a culture. Maybe one day mexicans will evolve to have 5 toes on each foot instead of 2-4
Fuck your entire fucking life you fucking loser, give your balls a tug.
And call your mom for me would you? Tell her I need her to pick up your sister on the way over here, I double booked them by mistake. -
2019-10-28 at 4:12 AM UTC
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2019-10-28 at 4:24 AM UTC
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2019-10-28 at 4:31 AM UTCLiterally this and Danny Trejo are the most telegenic of the entire mexican species. Mexican males are the lowest caste of humans
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2019-10-28 at 5:16 AM UTCTrejo would slit your throat
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2019-10-28 at 5:21 AM UTCgiven how hard Trump is talking it up and the fact that Russia detected no US air assets in the area, I seriously doubt that al-Baghdadi was actually killed. nevermind that he's already been 'killed' like 10 times.
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2019-10-28 at 6:05 AM UTC
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2019-10-28 at 9:24 AM UTCAre these people even real? I remember this sort of thing used to happen with various Al Qaeda characters all the time, and by now it seems more like a soap opera than anything.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-10-28 at 9:26 AM UTC
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2019-10-28 at 12:14 PM UTCY'all niggas is so mean to each other :(The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-10-28 at 1:07 PM UTCI'm gonna plant a bomb at my own funeral
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-10-28 at 1:13 PM UTC
Originally posted by aldra given how hard Trump is talking it up and the fact that Russia detected no US air assets in the area, I seriously doubt that al-Baghdadi was actually killed. nevermind that he's already been 'killed' like 10 times.
Helps that he "exploded" too, cause it's really easy to confirm identity when that happens
