2017-01-03 at 4:53 PM UTC
A drug addicted mother, no matter how I justify it to myself? Hmm... You kinda want to make a box there, don't you, so if I do have legitimate health problems that warrant use of drugs, so I can continue working to support my child, it's just "justifying" and will continue to look horrible to you to fit the narrative you'd like to see about me. That's what I think, there.
Yes, I am going to be honest with my child. Telling him the truth, and being honest is not going to have him end up in prison or with serious psychological problems. Plenty of parents lie to their children and see them end up in prison/bad situations in their life, and I think it's a part of the problem. More than being honest, I'm going to do everything in my power to encourage my child to embrace learning, education, and being the best person he can be. I plan to be honest, and see me for the good and bad, so he hopefully can avoid making the mistakes in life I've made- many parents think lying somehow will accomplish this, but... I don't see how it does and usually ends up with a child in the same boat as the parent, or worse in the end.
Why do I want to synth T-PAIN? Knowledge is power. I value knowledge, it's something nobody can strip from you. They can take away degrees, they can steal your livelihood, but nobody can take away knowledge you have. I don't seriously plan on making T-PAIN (I don't know, maybe one day I will), but knowing all I can about it, serves me better than knowing less.
The only thing I can agree with you is your last line about contraception. I made a terrible mistake here, and dealt with an overwhelming pressure to have a child with my ex in a fucked up situation where I was being manipulated and used. I own my mistake, and I don't plan on every making it again. I currently have a copper IUD, which is good for a decade, and doesn't fuck with my head hormonally as many contraceptives do. I want my child to grow up and be my sole focus to inspire and encourage him to reach the stars and beyond. I want my son to go on and be far better than I was and avoid the fucked up mistakes I've made, and I believe education and honesty are the foundation to achieving that.
2017-01-03 at 5:09 PM UTC
Originally posted by reject
I dunno, I can't remember.
I was using on and off for 4 or 5 years, like I'd binge for a couple weeks, fuck things up, wait for things to cool down and then do it again. They started making me really suicidal and depressed. I'm not sure if I was ever truly "addicted" to them, but I used to get bags of 100 and eat them in a day or 2.
My record was something like 300 flubromazolam in 5 days. Good times.
Dude.....
Flobromazolam is the only Benzo I know of that killed people on its own without a coctail.
You had the light pink 250mcg ones, right?
I went through the same kinda bag in like... 2 months? 12mg killed a nigga in UK. The fucks wrong with you?
Or was it the orange Flubromazepam 8mg?
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2017-01-03 at 5:12 PM UTC
Is it really called Frodo?
2017-01-03 at 5:20 PM UTC
I've had flubromazepam too but that was nowhere near as good, very good half life tho. Flubromazolam is probably the best, most euphoric, strongest benzo. Or that I tried anyway
2017-01-03 at 5:22 PM UTC
When I used to get etizolam powder I used to get my knife, eyeball it and spoon it onto my tongue.
I was a reckless little bastard
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2017-01-03 at 5:33 PM UTC
Y'know. I'm a wild one myself. Had em all... I think. Very high natural tolerance.
You sir, you should undoubtly be dead. That is madness.
Were uppers involved?
2017-01-03 at 5:46 PM UTC
Nah, never really been too much of a fan of uppers. They have their time and their place, mostly with other people. But I couldn't just sit in my room taking stims like I did with benzos/opiates. I'm kinda glad I didn't die.
I guess I'm just lucky or had a decent tolerance at the time.
Or I was that nigga who died from 12mg.
2017-01-03 at 5:59 PM UTC
Are you completely off Benzos now?
How was the WDs?
2017-01-03 at 6:07 PM UTC
Yea, haven't done any since, dunno, May or so. Since June 2015 I've only done them 2 or 3 times and each time ended pretty badly. I don't think I'd do them again, I've finally learnt my lesson. Or if I was going to do them I wouldn't buy more than 5 so I can't go full retard.
That's the thing, I don't think I got WDs. At least not that I noticed or I just drank/smoked/cwe'd my way through them. I don't think I got withdrawals because I didn't take them every day for months on end. I'd just binge for a shortish amount of time, stop and give it a few weeks til I did them again.
2017-01-03 at 6:28 PM UTC
Interesting.
A single binge on Flubro is enough to send some people into hell.
2017-01-03 at 6:48 PM UTC
I ended up in a mental hospital, so there is that
2017-01-03 at 6:50 PM UTC
Under the influence or after?
