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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-12-27 at 3:40 AM UTCThis idiot who has an 18month old uncircumcised baby watch him christmas eve while I worked. i thought shed know having a uncirc baby not to pull their forskin back. Now my childs dick is swollen huge and Ive gone bacl and forth on taking him to the hospital. Im scared theyll get DCF involved. I cant believe this idiot did this. shesays she always does this to her baby and probably jas cause irreprible scaring thatll cause a tight forskin im her own baby. He is peeing normal yet acreams when he pees and it hurts to touch. I feel like a failure and want to kill this bitch over hurting my baby's dick. Hes never had dick problems until now, obvipusly caused by this retard. See, Malice, why I have worried about othera watching my child? His regular baby sittwr I believe has gotten tited of him and when he came home from her the other night he grabbed my hair and I said 'No' and tapped his fingers like always. He fucking cringed, tucked up and balled his eyea out like Ive never seen before. Ive done that before, his normal reaction is smiling and letting go, this time he seemed terrified. God helpthem if I find out they hurt my baby. Ive always had a crazy streak but Ive never felt this urge inside me to harm someone so brutally over the thought of them hurting my baby. Even them just yelling at him makes my blood boil (hes 7months old, yelling does nothing to teach them not to so something- if this was a toddler who had more comprehension I probably wouldnt be so wound up over it, even if they spanked his butt for doing wrong, but we are talking an infant here). I feel like an awful mother for putting him in this situation. He doesnt deserve this. Hes a good baby. the onelady is just stuoid and supposidly her doctor (the same assholes who started shit when he was born) told her foe her sonto pull his forskin back. If my baby's dick is fucked up I will do something I probably shouldnt post here.
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2015-12-27 at 4:20 AM UTCYou should definitely be using a nanny cam. They're cheap and easily concealed. Fuck, I would not trust the people you seem to be around with your baby. I wish you had listened to me and gotten out while you still could.
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2015-12-27 at 4:40 AM UTC^ this, but the only problem is is he goes over there to their houses. I could stick it in a toy or his basket with his stuff though. Honestly though, my seasonal shit is over, I was told I wouldnt be kept on like she saidbbecause her boss told her not to. no more babysitters, not for a while, Ill have a vehicle soon, so when I get another job, Ill do a good screen on anyone who watches him from now on.
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2015-12-27 at 8:08 AM UTC
Protip: Insecurity is a major turn off for wimmenz.
I was reminded of something which then also reminded me of PoC, and myself more so:
I don't want to play this game. I never asked for this, I just wanted to be happy alone. I want to become a wirehead and just ride out my days until the singularity or preservation. I have immense internal resistance to this idea. -
2015-12-27 at 8:44 AM UTCI have no personality
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2015-12-27 at 8:50 AM UTCMe either. I never developed normally. I've most commonly been described as robotic, having a non-personality. Although, becoming used to a person's presence, in one on one conversations, I may give a different impression.
I genuinely tried to replace/bypass the need for people with drugs and technology. I mean, that wasn't just something I said online, it was actually my goal and I made a serious attempt at it. -
2015-12-27 at 5:16 PM UTC
Ahhh, to be single, and feel love's keen sting. I'll tell you what though, i've been in love once or twice. When i was but a wee lad i had a group of freinds and among these friends there was a girl, she was beautiful, funny, even smart for a young girl(She's making more money than any guy i know these days lel. And no she's not a prostitute kek) Anyway, i fell in love with her but unfortunately she didn't like me in that way, yet i still remained with that particular group of friends, just being away from her was a not so nice feel, even more so when she got into a relationship with a guy from that group of friends. After they broke up a year or so had passed and i was still in love with her. So i kept in contact with her and we became really good friends she was over at my house all the time and we did stuff together lol, almost like a couple but nothing ever happened besides that. Later in life i asked her: Did you never think of being together with me or at least fucking or whatever since we were basically together in every other way, and she said yes, i did. So i asked her why didn't you? Because she knew i liked her a lot. Then she said: I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So i kicked myself in the face and went on with my life.
But, to this day, when i see her(She lives relatively close) i have to consciously stop myself from falling in love with her all over again and this was a good 11-12 years ago.
Dang.
Anyway, i didn't stop pursuing relationships after that, sure it's going to hurt at some point probably, but when you're in love with a girl or a guy for all i care and they're in love with you as well it's bretty great breh.
And don't make the argument of: Hurr durr it's just chemicals in ur brainzzz, because while that may be true so is heroin and heroin is bretty great as well. -
2015-12-27 at 7:04 PM UTCI should have known you were a Children of Bodom fan, Malice
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2015-12-27 at 11:06 PM UTC
I was reminded of something which then also reminded me of Po
I find group situations ezier and more fun than one on one is this autism?
I don't want to play this game. I never asked for this, I just wanted to be happy alone. I want to become a wirehead and just ride out my days until the singularity or preservation. I have immense internal resistance to this idea. -
2015-12-28 at 5:42 AM UTC
I should have known you were a Children of Bodom fan, Malice
What made you think that? I've never listened to them. *goes to youtube* Groovy. I'm extremely picky about music, even if I have an affinity toward certain genres, it's very rare to find an album I like entirely. Generally I'll only like one or a few songs at best. Very polarized. Right now isn't a good time for music due to how strong my anhedonia, anergia, and blunted affect have become over the years. Symptoms of major (severe) depression and social isolation. I've barely listened to music over the last 4-5 years, sadly. Before that I could work myself into a fury of thrash dancing with some good energetic music.
Fortunately my NSI-189 + Nardil + valproic acid (for neuroplasticity) stack should soon begin (only attaining Nardil is uncertain, but I think I can pull it off), and when combined with intensive therapy, recovery should be greatly accelerated. I'm going to document this, see how drastically I can change starting from literally nothing, the pit of depression, a sad destructive life, and negative thoughts and innate characteristics/predispositions/deficits/disorders, to whatever I can manage to attain (ideally hero status).I find group situations ezier and more fun than one on one is this autism?
Is that a serious question or a joke? No, it generally suggests the opposite. It's also not necessarily exclusive to autism, but related to introversion and extroversion. -
2015-12-28 at 5:53 AM UTC"I today just an unusually good day, or did I accidentally take too much etizolam after getting out of bed?"
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2015-12-28 at 6:47 AM UTC
I have no personality
“I had all the characteristics of a human being—flesh, blood, skin, hair—but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that my normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind functioningâ€
Have you ever read the book, sploo? You should, it's good. -
2015-12-28 at 8:26 AM UTCAh, post 8150, the time I tore into The Duke: http://web.archive.org/web/20140910182113/https://www.zoklet.net/bbs/showthread.php?t=304792&page=204
Then there was that time in Sanctuary where his biological father died and I made a post about how his parents raised him, poured so much love and effort, time, energy, resources, into him, expected the best, and this was how he turned out? That I wouldn't have been surprised if he died of a broken heart.
Midnight Sun/Habanero responded with the DAMN gif from Friday, and Weird Sex/Weed Smoker responded to that with "for real tho".
Ah, good times.
Earlier, Casper gave me this advice:I mean typically i just work n run errands but the other day spent the day out with Apricot n his chick. Felt super nice to actually just relax and do something for the hell of it. Sat down for like 45 min and talked wqith this bluesman/artist, n ave him some cash for one of this paintings. Dude was incredibly intelligent, and he ended up writing a dedication on the back that made me tear up a bit. Pretty much every stranger I met that day, I made a point to introduce myself and ask something about them. The next day I did the same thing, and I ended up spending the entire day with a group of strangers, perfectly happy. You need to be open to letting life intervene with whatever plan you have for yourself. Engage people like people, not as characters. Just getting out of your comfort zone even a little and making connections with people can do wonders for your mental state. You seem pretty determined to do the exact opposite of that though, so im not sure what else i can tell you.
I didn't listen. :(
No wonder he gave up one me, it was obvious I was never going to get it together and watching me succumb to a slow depressing death, dying without ever having known what it was like to live, would only tear at his heart. I hope that motherfucker burns in hell! Thank god for his array of medical conditions. Fuck you, Casper, you're the one that's doomed to an early death, to never achieving peace and happiness! A decade of heroin use at your level? What do you think that does to your ability to experience pleasure? What's the relapse rate, the long-term outcomes for people like you? What the long term impact of everything that's occurred to you is? If I ever go back to LA to visit my hometown I'll dance on your grave. I'll collect all your worse posts, conclusively linking your identity to them, and show them to your mother, forever ruining the image she had of you? Can you imagine what that will do to her? Can you?! IMAGINE IT!!! A low level associates degree, enormous gap in legitimate work experience, you're freakishly tall, in poor health, unrelatable, have a past you'll likely always have to hide, cover up and lie about, if someone were to find out they'd leave you immediately, never see you the same way again. You'll never make it without drugs, NEVER, your best years are behind you and you only have a lifetime of mediocrity ahead of this. What was is that was so painful you had to numb yourself to such an immense extent, do this to yourself? Do you really think you're ever going to find satisfaction, be able to fill that hole in your heart, with the life that's realistically ahead of you? You know you won't! If I make it through this and you're still alive I'll go down to LA just to finish you off and put you out of your misery for abandoning me! -
2015-12-28 at 11:15 AM UTC>PoC: Went to have my first appointment with my new therapist today and its a black guy
Oh, I was wrong that time, it was your therapist, not psychiatrist. Must have been funny. -
2015-12-28 at 12:17 PM UTCThe good ol days
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2015-12-28 at 12:52 PM UTC
What made you think that?
​…Yet I am blameless. Each model of human behavior must be assumed to have some validity. Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this—and I have countless times, in just about every act I’ve committed—and coming face-to-face with these truths, there is no catharsis. I gain no deeper knowledge about myself, no new understanding can be extracted from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any of this. This confession has meant nothing….
About the 16 minute mark
Unless they got that from one of those school shooters or something
Damn, Angels Don't Kill is a fucking awesome song -
2015-12-28 at 1:14 PM UTCI found some really tiny weed pieces , emptied out a cig and put in like 3 really tiny pieces, and some spice/weed residual resin and dirt looking shit
i tasted the weed, so If there's enough to slightly taste it I'll get slightly high
if not I'm gonna take like 48 immodium and eat 6 Benzedrex cottons to get impacted colon/nerve damage and die from blockage
or I'll end up with a colostomy bag -
2015-12-28 at 1:33 PM UTCHey Dissociatior, save yourself toxic megacolon and use this: https://m.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1xjibu/propylhexedrine_hcl_tek/
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2015-12-28 at 2:19 PM UTCYou're really starting to fucking lose it completely, Malice
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2015-12-28 at 4:26 PM UTCHis Casper rant was a little out there.
