2019-07-08 at 1:14 PM UTC
a couple packs of candy/gum as a kid/teen but the first thing i really STOLE was a bottle of vodka when i was 16. then i got wasted with my schitzo friend and that night i could barely stand up and went home and my dad got pissed off at me and was like YOURE WASTED
2019-07-27 at 9:49 PM UTC
First thing from a store, would be batteries in 2005.
2019-07-27 at 10:21 PM UTC
AngryOnion
Big Wig
[the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
I stole a lighter from Woolworths and got cought by security.
Then I let crazy out and left the store before the cops showed up nobody felt it was worth a big thing over a $1.99 dollar lighter.
It was at "the mall" route 9 Natick Mass in 1985. LOL
Funny thing is that I never stole anything after that,I just don't steal shit.
2019-09-30 at 6:46 AM UTC
Age 4-6 (not over two years..just can't remember my true age at that time)
Moms wallet. Got caught. Aww beat bad.
Didn't like being a theif afterwards.
2019-10-01 at 5:15 PM UTC
I was stealing some big league chew from walgreens yestersay which is the worst store on the planet because they charge 3 times as much but then as i put it in my rx bag the intercom went CODE 42! and i got nervous and put it back
2019-10-01 at 6:41 PM UTC
STER0S
Space Nigga
[the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
my dad's porn magazines when i was 7
2019-10-03 at 5:41 AM UTC
Poop, ok. I stole poop for jankem..k?
Pfftttt
2019-10-03 at 8:51 AM UTC
4 months worth of cough syrup when I was 13.. or 14 idk