Constructing an Impenetrable Fortress

1. 2019-04-18 at 10:51 AM UTC

   #21
   WellHung Black Hole
   lol....mikey ur a funny dude. I'm glad you stuck around.
2. 2019-04-18 at 8:20 PM UTC

   #22
   

   gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

   Originally posted by -SpectraL I would use super sonic force fields. If the intruder steps into the field, all the molecules in his body get scrambled and start to fall apart, and he just turns into a liquid pile of jello-like material.

   
   Perhaps a tad overkill...
   
   Also, what do you do with the human-jello remains?
3. 2019-04-18 at 8:23 PM UTC

   #23
   

   gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

   Originally posted by Technologist Has anyone penetrated you yet?

   
   
   
   Your double entendre had me thinking of the sexual connotations way before the non-sexual concept, my fortress being penetrated by intruders, hit me.
   
   But no, in neither sense have I really been penetrated.
4. 2019-04-18 at 8:24 PM UTC

   #24
   

   gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

   Originally posted by mikeyagain Bats in a gun game…
   
   

   
   This is Canada, so guns aren't anywhere near as abundant as in the US.
   
   BUT, it just so happens that at least one of the visitors I sometimes get owns several guns. Mostly low caliber though, so I'm not super worried. Anyway, I get along with her, so I doubt she'd attack my fortress.
5. 2019-04-18 at 8:29 PM UTC

   #25
   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole

   Originally posted by gadzooks This is Canada, so guns aren't anywhere near as abundant as in the US.
   
   BUT, it just so happens that at least one of the visitors I sometimes get owns several guns. Mostly low caliber though, so I'm not super worried. Anyway, I get along with her, so I doubt she'd attack my fortress.

   
   Women are more into knives anyway when it comes to killing...they are cold like that, they want to feel the blade slide in and the warm blood oozing over their hands while the life drains slowly out of their victims clouding eyes.
6. 2019-04-18 at 8:31 PM UTC

   #26
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

   Originally posted by gadzooks Perhaps a tad overkill…
   
   Also, what do you do with the human-jello remains?

   
   Garden hose it.
7. 2019-04-18 at 10:05 PM UTC

   #27
   

   Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]
   Just build an underground bunker.
8. 2019-04-18 at 10:25 PM UTC

   #28
   

   Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Dark Matter [my scoffingly uncritical tinning]
   If a woman comes at you with a knife it means she likes you
9. 2019-04-18 at 10:29 PM UTC

   #29
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
   There's women out there who will cut your dick right off while you're sleeping. Depends on how bad you've pissed them off.
10. 2019-04-18 at 10:31 PM UTC

    #30
    

    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

    Originally posted by Needledick Needledick Needledick Just build an underground bunker.

    
    That's the ultimate goal.
    
    Right now I lack the funds to initiate such a project.
    
    I have actually put a lot of thought and planning into it though.
11. 2019-04-18 at 10:32 PM UTC

    #31
    

    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

    Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country If a woman comes at you with a knife it means she likes you

    
    It's like a kindergartner pulling on a girls hair.
    
    It's an act of courtship.
12. 2019-04-18 at 10:38 PM UTC

    #32
    

    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Oh, and regarding progress on my whole project here...
    
    I've gotten some fantastic advice from aldra in a thread I made about the intercom system, and have been researching all the different moving parts and how they can be processed digitally.
    
    I also set up a camera right by my rear patio door that notifies me by email if it detects any motion. That way, I can immediately check the live stream to see who it is.
    
    I also got a second camera with a lot more features that I plan to place directly outside. I'm also going to replace the light in the back with a WiFi enabled color-changing light. That, plus the two-way communication with the outside camera, and a built in siren in the camera... I can probably scare some folks away pretty easily if they don't respect the laminated sign posted out back...
    
    
13. 2019-04-18 at 11:11 PM UTC

    #33
    

    Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]

    Originally posted by gadzooks That's the ultimate goal.
    
    Right now I lack the funds to initiate such a project.
    
    I have actually put a lot of thought and planning into it though.

    
    Same. If I won Powerball I'd build a sweet one and just stay down there the rest of my life.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • gadzooks
14. 2019-04-18 at 11:13 PM UTC

    #34
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged

    Originally posted by Needledick Needledick Needledick Same. If I won Powerball I'd build a sweet one and just stay down there the rest of my life.

    
    I'd build an ark, 2019 style. No animals though.
15. 2019-04-18 at 11:14 PM UTC

    #35
    

    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    Keep it simple.
    Get two of these.
    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01L3FV8VU/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
    One for the front door and one for the back,they have two way talk and the app works great.
    Instead of a pressure pad at the rear door get one these.
    https://www.amazon.com/Upgraded-Illumination-Waterproof-Wireless-Security/dp/B077BFM2W5/ref=sr_1_3?crid=11DH1N3254GO1&keywords=solar+motion+sensor+light+outdoor&qid=1555629054&s=gateway&sprefix=solar+%2Caps%2C148&sr=8-3
    I bought one works good.
    I had a problem with assholes partying in my back yard now they see the light come on and they scatter.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • gadzooks
16. 2019-04-18 at 11:23 PM UTC

    #36
    

    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

    Originally posted by AngryOnion Keep it simple.
    Get two of these.
    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01L3FV8VU/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
    One for the front door and one for the back,they have two way talk and the app works great.
    Instead of a pressure pad at the rear door get one these.
    https://www.amazon.com/Upgraded-Illumination-Waterproof-Wireless-Security/dp/B077BFM2W5/ref=sr_1_3?crid=11DH1N3254GO1&keywords=solar+motion+sensor+light+outdoor&qid=1555629054&s=gateway&sprefix=solar+%2Caps%2C148&sr=8-3
    I bought one works good.
    I had a problem with assholes partying in my back yard now they see the light come on and they scatter.

    
    The camera I've got is really good, but I do like the motion sensor for lights...
    
    It occured to me briefly last night while I was drinking but I forgot to write it down anywhere.
    
    I'll probably get those exact lights actually.
17. 2019-04-19 at 12:31 AM UTC

    #37
    

    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]

    Originally posted by gadzooks The camera I've got is really good, but I do like the motion sensor for lights…
    
    It occured to me briefly last night while I was drinking but I forgot to write it down anywhere.
    
    I'll probably get those exact lights actually.

    
    I also set up a fake camera with a flashing red led on it.
    No more dirty needles and used condoms to clean up,somebody actually dumped an old couch.
    Stupid kids they had a nice spot and I actually didn't mind until the thumping nigger music at 3am.
    
18. 2019-04-19 at 12:33 AM UTC

    #38
    

    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

    Originally posted by AngryOnion I also set up a fake camera with a flashing red led on it.
    No more dirty needles and used condoms to clean up,somebody actually dumped an old couch.
    Stupid kids they had a nice spot and I actually didn't mind until the thumping nigger music at 3am.
    

    
    Damn... People can be so disrespectful.
    
    It's unfortunate that we even have to go to these lengths just for some basic peace and civility.
19. 2019-04-28 at 9:07 PM UTC

    #39
    Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
    So did you ever rewire the intercom?
20. 2019-04-28 at 9:12 PM UTC

    #40
    

    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

    Originally posted by Nil So did you ever rewire the intercom?

    
    I am still working on it.
    
    I had to order more parts (relay switch, breadboards, etc).
    
    I've been documenting my progress in the following thread:
    
    https://niggasin.space/thread/37198