2019-03-08 at 5:55 PM UTC
Not to shit on anyone else's thread, but seemed appropriate
In his honor, please observe a moment of silence before you bang the goofball into your dick vein.
As promised, heres the report and a couple of the emails he sent a couple years back, with what ended up being his real name.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1O3Cg7h_impycjD9e7gCvgjbetFH0_EhL?usp=sharingRIP Justin Alexis Hernandez aka Malice aka Catfucker (April 16th, 1990- June 15th, 2018)
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WE SMOOTH,
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Daily
2019-03-08 at 6:22 PM UTC
GGG
victim of incest
[my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
Which one is the goofball again
2019-03-08 at 6:28 PM UTC
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2019-03-08 at 6:31 PM UTC
This is the new official TRT
2019-03-08 at 8:18 PM UTC
Dont touch a gifthorse in the mouth
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2019-03-09 at 12:39 AM UTC
All other planets: "hey Earth. You suck!"
Earth: "go fuck yourself. Maybe GET A LIFE and then come talk shit. Bitches.
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2019-03-09 at 7:30 AM UTC
The malice one should be better than the sploo one. But they were both extremists. Only way to get attention.
2019-03-09 at 9:50 AM UTC
I feel like being immortalized by a shitty megathread in a shitty little scumpond forum in the endless expanse of empty space and gossip columns and staged stepsibling porn that is the internet- is a fitting tribute to Mal.
Bukowski would've gotten along fine here, I think, Just started reading Ham on Rye. Chuck doesnt seem like a genius by any stretch of the imagination, but he had an uncanny ability to condense a fucktons of meaning into everyday, very utilitarian, terse diction.
I always got very pissed off that I spent a decade plus of scumfuckery with no art to show for it. I assumed living in cars and shooting dope and living with tweakers and whores, and then moving back home and eating acid and snorting fentanyl and planning to kill myself....somewhere along the way I'd manufacture some earthshaking, serious literary explosive. But all it does it makes you angry and mean and jaded. An animal doesn't have time for art.
I lel''d at a joke I kinda wrote in my head today.
"I always relished being the bad guy. Always exceptional, but not enough to excel, I always found it easier to do the things other people were too afraid to do. It cost you a lot of opportunities, but it afforded you a strange sort of respect. If you couldn't win them over with good looks or wit, or athleticism, or a cock big enough to scare off the most ambitious of whores...at least the fear was nice.
So I made it my business to take note of just about everything I was supposed to do, and make an honest effort of doing the very opposite."
School advisor: "....and if nothing else, you're going to want to just keep a couple thousand dollars in a high yield savings account, and just never touch it. Build credit early. Finish a degree in anything..."
Me: *sitting naked in a stolen Oldsmobile, covered in blood and broken glass, smoking bufo toad venom with a blowtorch* PLEASE CONTINUE, MR. SHEVLIN...
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2019-03-09 at 9:52 AM UTC
LANNY ENOUGH WITH THE WORD ENHANCEMENTS I AM A MAN OF PEACE BUT I SWear to CHRIST I Will HUNT YOU DOWN AND FUCK A HOLE IN YOUR STILL BEATING HEART IF YOU DONT FIX THIS shit
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2019-03-09 at 4:15 PM UTC
Well guys, I'm going into work today to get fired basically. I've been working since my background check got flagged but I guess it's caught up to me now.
Also, Malice's name was Bruce. No wait...
2019-03-09 at 4:23 PM UTC
I've been hitting on this hot as fuck MILF nurse at work. I guess I have a MILF and nurse fetish. Her kid is 6 and she's 22, so you know she's a ho. Hmm, I guess I have a ho fetish, too.
