Mewsik
African Astronaut
[diagonally photosensitise my summation]
Dread .... I need to start meditating again. Overwhelmed dealing with too many different personalities at work and having to somehow present a united front of “team”
I just wanta throw my hands up and say “I’m done ... I give up” and move on, but it’s not an option.
Honestly I have zero clue what's going on right now, but for the past few days since I stopped snorting drugs, smoked weed, eat good and portion control, and done some mild stretching...I feel the best I've felt in like...10 years. I don't believe that weed or CBD are any kind of miracle drug, but the change in my mood, thought, speech, energy- has been SO marked, I really couldn't even begin to venture a guess as to why that might be.
A couple hits of the vape every hour with some low THC, high CBD strains like Harlequin, AC/DC, Harle-Tsu...and .5 g psilocybin mushrooms every other day.
Things I've done in the last few days that I haven't really done in years:
Cleaned the bathroom Cleared a clog under the sink by removing and replacing the P trap and the second length of pipe. Cleaned the kitchen Thrown away bags and bags of old clothes, electronics dogshit Played with the cat for an hour and gave her a bath Remembering minor facts in obscure conversation- such as why a mayor left office, when a part of the city was incorporated, and how much someone told me that the house a few blocks away listed for a month ago. Have had really honest, human conversations with my lyft and uber drivers Began reading medical journals on neurodegenerative diseases and memory encoding, and actually retained information Listened to music for enjoyment Couldn't figure out why there's not a more concise term for someone trying to diminish or refute their responsibility in a matter, looked up the word "ascusary" (not accusatory) like 10 different ways, and then spent an hour and a half reading an introduction to Latin, and then got lost on a video on linguistic anthropology, and learning about spirants and diphthongs in various languages. I suddenly remembered a little etched bronze plaque fastened to the side of the red telephone in the hallway of the apartment I grew up in....
I don't fuckin know dude. And that's not even all of it. But....yeah I'm cool. Lol.
Either things are looking up, or this is how schizophrenia starts.
The vicissitude of my year has been nothing more but a blessing. I’m proud of myself for holding on and staying strong through thick and thin. For the sky is the limit, for that is my absolute reason to set an example for my sons, and try to be the best father figure-role model that a grown man could be. I could cry, but that would make me feel weak. Just know that I am crying on the inside folks, by acknowledging to do things the right way and that everything will be alright.
Disclaimer: as I was on my way walking from work, I saw a C-hristmas tree sitting in the middle of a lane. I could’ve been careless and kept walking. So being the Good Samaritan that I am, I removed it from the street. I guess the wind moved it there or something. I probably just saved a few lives from the people who like to text while driving. God knows I did the right thing. And that’s okay nobody didn’t notice. I know that he saw it though. And probably smiled too. For that, I am thankful.
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Originally posted by Zanick
Jesus christ, some of these drugs are for people with dementia. What the fuck makes somebody take this? Who drinks that much coffee?
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
For reference, for anyone who might be as confused as I was at one point, apparently Zanick's account is currently being used by his "evil sister" (quotes his own, not mine).
Zanick is almost certainly my favorite poster on this entire site, so I'm trying to humor the whole thing, but I have a strong feeling this is some kind of drug-induced thing...
Hopefully temporary, though, because Zanick brings a certain kind of eloquence, poetry, and high-culture to this site that goes greatly underappreciated.
It is some drug-induced "thing" because that's always what it is with him. I guess I'm glad he has friends? Even if they are fellow drug users and pedophiles. I would hesitate to call what he does "poetry" though.
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Originally posted by Zanick
It is some drug-induced "thing" because that's always what it is with him. I guess I'm glad he has friends? Even if they are fellow drug users and pedophiles. I would hesitate to call what he does "poetry" though.
He is a master of the English language, at least. He is one of the few people out there that I still learn a word or two from now and again.
This motley crew of drug addicts, criminals, sexual deviants, and all-around reprobates, can, from time to time, surprise you.
And even if they're all (for the most part) reprobates, I like Zanick.
You have this weird degenerate pride that reminds me of him. It's nice that you think he's special. I agree with you actually, but I guess I haven't told him that.
I think all of you need to get far away from this place.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Originally posted by Zanick
You have this weird degenerate pride that reminds me of him. It's nice that you think he's special. I agree with you actually, but I guess I haven't told him that.
I think all of you need to get far away from this place.
This place isn't necessarily as toxic and detrimental as it might seem. Sadly, most of the Internet is becoming a "hive of scum and villainy"... Racist and homophobic slurs, for example, have become standard terms of communication. Telling someone online to kill themselves is said with utter disregard for the severity of the command.
The Internet is full of shitty people, and this site is no exception (if anything, it has more than the typical Internet community). But it isn't all bad. Totse (this site's progenitor) taught me a lot, and I will forever be indebted to such a community. NiS is as close to the original Totse as there is. I will continue to stay despite all the rampant negativity.
Originally posted by Zanick
Jesus christ, some of these drugs are for people with dementia. What the fuck makes somebody take this? Who drinks that much coffee?
He thinks he can prevent himself from getting dementia by taking it, as among other cognitive benefits. I've briefly pondered taking it, but I feel like it would cause concurrent cognitive problems.
