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  1. #21
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    Scary times. I closed one bank account and deposited in a different bank's account (certified check over 10K). The new bank said they couldn't release the funds for 2 weeks! I had to throw a fit because I just moved here and I needed to make deposits for rentals and utilities and shit! Something is going on, I wonder if it has to do with us being 22T in debt, we have no money! I believe Fort Knox is empty too.
  2. #22
    Yeah it takes 5 business days to transfer money between accounts bc anti terrorism and laundering legislation. 2 days is plenty for those purposes, but lolno wait 5 bc we tie our shoes thrice!
  3. #23
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by DietPiano Yeah it takes 5 business days to transfer money between accounts bc anti terrorism and laundering legislation. 2 days is plenty for those purposes, but lolno wait 5 bc we tie our shoes thrice!

    Cash yes, certified check no, or it shouldn't be.
  4. #24
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by AngryOnion I fucking hate banks as well.
    I needed to close an account and get the balance in the form of a bank check so I could close my mortgage.
    They were all like "you should have called ahead we just cant write checks for that much money".
    WTF it was my money in my account write the fucking check,Half hour latter I was on my way,fucking pissed me off I still get mad when I think about it.
    I wonder what would have happened if I demanded cash LOL.

    they would have told you to piss off

    i had a $10,000 check that i tried to cash at a wackovia. (never trust a bank who name is 'walk over 'ya')

    at first they wanted me to open/make an account and deposit the check, i said no, fuck off, youre not getting my PI. after extreme arguing, the bank manager said they couldnt cash the whole check in one day, i would have to do it in increments of $1,000 every day for the next ten days. i argued some more, made some threats, then they said they could do it for $3,000 a day for three days...and $1,000 a day for a day. the second argument took place in the managers office after the first argument with the teller was in front of a line of other victims...i mean customers.

    THEN when they gave me the $3,000 i asked where the counting room was...they gave me a dumbfounded look...i explained what one was...and almost a quote of 'aaahhhdurrhhHHHHH...we dont have one of those.'

    ffs...ive been in counting rooms in a bank in a town with a population of 4,000 people that has a counting room.

    this is part of what i was talking about in another thread where banks have a pecking order for their customers. if you dont have an account at their bank you are literally dirt in their eyes. in my 'real' bank i never have any problems...they even offer me coffee or some of their gay froo-froo waters. and all but one of their counting rooms have an automated coffee maker that makes hot chocolate.
  5. #25
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by DietPiano Yeah it takes 5 business days to transfer money between accounts bc anti terrorism and laundering legislation. 2 days is plenty for those purposes, but lolno wait 5 bc we tie our shoes thrice!

    no...in the time between the actual withdrawal from bank-a and the availability of funds to the customer in bank-b, the funds are owned by bank-b and used for various financial 'instruments.' think about it...if there is $100...$500...$5000 in a fiscal limbo for 5,000 customers, that amount works up to millions of dollars of interest free money for these institutions.

    i caught kike-pal doing that with $9k one time. i was literally standing in the office of a bank with the account holder who paid me the $9k over kike-pal. i was literally looking at the screen where the bank rep was pointing to where the funds were no longer in possession of that bank and were wholly in control of kike-pal while on the phone with some handsome and well tanned individual kike-pal rep telling me the funds hadnt been transferred to them (me.) after significant arguing...threats to close my business acct...and arguments with 'supervisors' they finally magically found my money and made it available to me.

    about six months later i closed my kike-pal along with the associated real-world bank account.

    fucking kikes...
  6. #26
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by DietPiano Yeah it takes 5 business days to transfer money between accounts bc anti terrorism and laundering legislation. 2 days is plenty for those purposes, but lolno wait 5 bc we tie our shoes thrice!

    all that 'patriot act' bullshit is zero-percent about terrorism and 100% about government control and tracking of finances.

    the banks take advantage of it for their own purposes and benefits...money delays being one of them
  7. #27
    esbity African Astronaut
    The minimum to avoid fees is usually only like $1k.
  8. #28
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Originally posted by Lanny You realize major banks do more than just checking and savings accounts, right?

    You shouldn’t invest with a bank. Not saying it’s not possible. The fees are generally higher and the options and fund choices are typically more limited.
  9. #29
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Ajax You shouldn’t invest with a bank. Not saying it’s not possible. The fees are generally higher and the options and fund choices are typically more limited.

    This is true! Invest with me..
  10. #30
    Originally posted by infinityshock due to the amount, they said i couldnt make a deposit using cash, the only way i could do it was to transfer it from my account into hers, which i didnt want to do, due to it would fuck up my accounting. after arguing with the teller the bank manager came out…we argued some more…ultimately with her saying the reason i cant make a cash deposit of that amount is due to terrorism or money laundering. the irony being they said i could deposit the cash into my account then transfer it to hers…but couldnt deposit into hers and skip an entire step in the transaction.

    terrorist detected.
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