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US Bank

  1. DietPiano victim of incest
    I went into US Bank yesterday and opened a checking account. It is the crappiest bank I've ever been to. It has like 8 cubicles, each equipped with a Rent-A-Banker, and the cheapest fake wood desk I can fathom.

    I'm guessing this is where young or reprimanded bankers go to get more experience, because I can't imgaine any loan officer wanting to work in those conditions. An office and a full sized desk not made of cardboard are worth more than a few thousand extra at the end of the year.
  2. Lanny creature of the mesothelioma era
    Chase probably has the nicest mass market banking decor if that's what you're into.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. Originally posted by Lanny Chase probably has the nicest mass market banking decor if that's what you're into.

    Oh yeah, cos you have so much money that you go to the secret bank that no one knows about. The one with the white boat-shoe boys and the Hahvahd accents.
  4. A College Professor Space Nigga [your moreover breastless limestone]
    lil sporty is a rothschild not that i know what that word means
  5. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    frothschild
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. Lanny creature of the mesothelioma era
    Originally posted by Majestic 12 : The UFO Science Task Force Oh yeah, cos you have so much money that you go to the secret bank that no one knows about. The one with the white boat-shoe boys and the Hahvahd accents.

    Lol, it's no secret that there are different levels of service offered to customers depending on how much money they keep in a bank. You don't even need that much, usually it's a net of 500k to a million to get out of the mass market segment, although there's usually additional tiers after that.
  7. POLECAT Space Nigga [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    I went to my bank today to make a deposit and they informed me that they had closed my account dew to lak of funds and my not showing up to pay the 14 dollar fee they charged me for not using my debit card enough.. I told them I wouldnt be paying the 14 dollars nor would I do bisnezz with them ever again
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  8. infinityshock Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Lanny Chase probably has the nicest mass market banking decor if that's what you're into.

    fuck that shitfest. those kikes literally called me a terrorist.
  9. infinityshock Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by POLECAT I went to my bank today to make a deposit and they informed me that they had closed my account dew to lak of funds and my not showing up to pay the 14 dollar fee they charged me for not using my debit card enough.. I told them I wouldnt be paying the 14 dollars nor would I do bisnezz with them ever again

    that's why you use a credit union and not a bank

    I have no stupid fees...free checking...and only use my ATM cards to withdraw cash or make deposits, which is rare.
  10. Lanny creature of the mesothelioma era
    Originally posted by infinityshock fuck that shitfest. those kikes literally called me a terrorist.

    They've got nice carpets and office plants though.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. infinityshock Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Lanny Lol, it's no secret that there are different levels of service offered to customers depending on how much money they keep in a bank. You don't even need that much, usually it's a net of 500k to a million to get out of the mass market segment, although there's usually additional tiers after that.

    no one keeps that much liquid assets on hand. if you weren't a poor prole youd know that.

    you'd also know that banks base their 'ratings' on credit (asset) checks they randomly do.
  12. Technologist motherfucker
    My credit union has no fees, but I do have to keep a minimum amount in there. Other than that, they’re awesome for loans.
  13. infinityshock Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Lanny They've got nice carpets and office plants though.

    being called a terrorist doesn't make up for that.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  14. Lanny creature of the mesothelioma era
    Originally posted by infinityshock no one keeps that much liquid assets on hand. if you weren't a poor prole youd know that.

    You realize major banks do more than just checking and savings accounts, right?

    you'd also know that banks base their 'ratings' on credit (asset) checks they randomly do.

    I don't know what you mean by "rating", but I can tell you for a fact that things like how you're handled when you walk into a branch or online experience segmentation is not based on your credit score.
  15. infinityshock Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Lanny You realize major banks do more than just checking and savings accounts, right?

    I don't know what you mean by "rating", but I can tell you for a fact that things like how you're handled when you walk into a branch or online experience segmentation is not based on your credit score.

    you can stop trying to discuss the topic. youve made it obvious you havent the slightest clue.

    i used certain key words...liquid assets...credit/asset checks...that if you had a clue you would have picked up on.
  16. Lanny creature of the mesothelioma era
    Originally posted by infinityshock you can stop trying to discuss the topic. youve made it obvious you havent the slightest clue.

    i used certain key words…liquid assets…credit/asset checks…that if you had a clue you would have picked up on.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. infinityshock Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Lanny


    no one cares about how long your penis is
  18. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by infinityshock fuck that shitfest. those kikes literally called me a terrorist.

    what were you trying to do?
  19. infinityshock Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by aldra what were you trying to do?

    short story: make a cash deposit into my at-the-time gfs account.

    slightly longer short story: due to the amount, they said i couldnt make a deposit using cash, the only way i could do it was to transfer it from my account into hers, which i didnt want to do, due to it would fuck up my accounting. after arguing with the teller the bank manager came out...we argued some more...ultimately with her saying the reason i cant make a cash deposit of that amount is due to terrorism or money laundering. the irony being they said i could deposit the cash into my account then transfer it to hers...but couldnt deposit into hers and skip an entire step in the transaction.

    called the main number, closed the account and made several complaints to higher-ups

    they gave my at-the-time gf some sort of gift card or something, some high-up muckety muck called her to apologize, and kept leaving messages for me to call someone, which i never did.

    fuck banks.
  20. AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    I fucking hate banks as well.
    I needed to close an account and get the balance in the form of a bank check so I could close my mortgage.
    They were all like "you should have called ahead we just cant write checks for that much money".
    WTF it was my money in my account write the fucking check,Half hour latter I was on my way,fucking pissed me off I still get mad when I think about it.
    I wonder what would have happened if I demanded cash LOL.
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