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Guess what the user above you does for money
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2018-10-24 at 2:39 PM UTC
Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich
The barman serves him, the man then drinks the beer in one gulp, puts the ham sandwich on his head and walks out the bar.
Next day the man returns, orders the beer and ham sandwich again, drinks the beer, puts the ham sandwich on his head and walks out.
This continues all week
Friday, the man walks into the bar orders a beer and a ham sandwich
The barman says "We don't have ham today, only cheese sandwiches"
The man says "Then give me a beer and a cheese sandwich"
The barman serves the man
The man drinks the beer in one gulp, puts the cheese sandwich on his head and starts to walk out the bar.
The barman stops him by yelling "Hey, I gotta ask, why do you have a cheese sandwich on your head?"
The man says "Because you are out of ham"..and goes on his way.
I literally groaned and cringed simultaneously -
2018-10-24 at 2:40 PM UTC
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2018-10-24 at 2:44 PM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ I literally groaned and cringed simultaneously
Then enjoy this one
Englishman, Scotchman and Irishman all walking down the high street 10 mins apart.
Englishman passes a travel agency with a sign in the window that says "World cruise only $5"
He thinks, wow what a deal! he goes in and says "Im here about the $5 cruise" the guy says "Oh yes, just step through that door there and they'll tell you all about it"
He goes though the door and then *WHACK*...someone hits him over the head and he is out cold.
10 mins later the Scotsman comes along, sees the same sign, goes in and is also directed to the door...and again *WHACK*, he is hit over the head and out cold.
another 10 mins passes and the Irishman comes along, sees the sign for the $5 world cruise, again goes in and again is directed to the door..*WHACK* He is knocked out cold.
3 weeks later the 3 of them wake up in a bathtub in the middle of the Atlantic.
The Scotsman starts to panic "OH GOD OH GOD WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!"
The Englishman says "Calm down we'll be ok, a ship will surely be along soon and save us"
The Irishman says "Well they didn't last year". -
2018-10-24 at 2:47 PM UTCI don't give a fuck about global politics but I bet the smart people find that funny.
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2018-10-24 at 3:03 PM UTCAnyway getting this back on track...
Retired playboy bunny. -
2018-10-24 at 3:04 PM UTCSquare
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2018-10-24 at 3:14 PM UTC
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2018-10-24 at 3:15 PM UTC
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2018-10-24 at 7:44 PM UTCfinger bangs the president in the Lincoln bedroom
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2018-10-24 at 8:47 PM UTC...with Martha Stewart and Serena Williams. (Extra points if you get the reference)
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2018-10-24 at 9:10 PM UTC
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2018-10-25 at 5:14 AM UTCgimp box content.
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2018-10-25 at 10 AM UTC
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2018-10-25 at 10:53 AM UTC
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2018-10-25 at 7:17 PM UTCPainter.
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2018-10-25 at 7:31 PM UTCFamous porn star.
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2018-10-25 at 8:03 PM UTCPeep show mop boy
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2018-10-25 at 11 PM UTC
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2018-10-26 at 12:33 AM UTCMovie screen nude stand-in
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2018-10-26 at 2:05 AM UTCLol. My 6'7" fat ass would ruin the illusion.
When I was 19 i did get paid to be in porn though.lol.