2018-10-10 at 6:56 AM UTC
Ok, not really, but I had a moment today.
When I came home from work, I walked in on Tommy eating pizza instead of one of the many other (healthier) snacks available. In fact, he wasn't eating just any pizza, but the one I specially made and stuck in the freezer to have at night with beer. He was happy as ever, and all I could think about was how he was eating MY WHOLE FUCKING PIZZA. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH. Little shit. Fuck you, Tommy. FUCK. YOU.
Anyway, no, I didn't strangle him, I just sent him upstairs to do homework after admonishing him for spoiling dinner. He doesn't know how weirdly pissed I got. I suppose it's a little childish, but I miss my pizza, dammit.
Parenting is weird.
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2018-10-10 at 6:58 AM UTC
Don't have kids if you don't want to get fucked with and trolled for the rest of your life.
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Needs more context. did you teach him really smart things like how to turn the tempature on the oven on and put the pizza in and then take it out? It took me like 443 times until I could do it myself
2018-10-10 at 7:08 AM UTC
Yeah, he warmed it up in the oven himself and even cleaned up a bit.
2018-10-10 at 7:11 AM UTC
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2018-10-10 at 7:13 AM UTC
I wonder how many people say that- warmed it up
HEY HONEY CAN YOU WARM UP THAT FROZEN PIZZA FOR ME"?
HEY HONEY CAN YOU COOK THAT FROZEN PIZZA FOR ME?
HEY HONEY CAN YOU GET THAT FROZEN PIE OUT OF THE FREEZER AND COOK IT FOR ME BECAUSE IM HUNGRY?
HEY DUMB BITCH MAKE THAT PIZZA AND SUCK MY DICK
HEY FAGGOT, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY PIZZA
that'd be funny if you got home and tommy was locked in the oven cuz he was so proud of making the pizza he got inside with it to make sure it was perfect like he was rearraging the pepperonis and cheese strands on it diligently and meticulously liek soo happy that his daddy was gonna be proud of him when he got home and then you get home and of course he's charred and dead inside the oven and you just scream and scream and scream and scream
If I ever have a son
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2018-10-10 at 7:15 AM UTC
lol. Not trolling. I'm won't abuse him, he just gets on my nerves from time to time. I'm sure other parents can relate.
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2018-10-10 at 7:16 AM UTC
no if you were really gonna fool us you should've picked a better name than Tommy. haha
fucking TOMMY
like tomato
have you ever had a tomoato pizza? obviously everyone has because they're made out of tomatoes you dingusses!
2018-10-10 at 7:19 AM UTC
Hah! You're the one who chose the nickname.
2018-10-10 at 7:19 AM UTC
ITT: a bunch of beta virgin cucks jealous of Dargos kid.
Join the ranks boys I already got my DNA walking and talking out there.
2018-10-10 at 7:20 AM UTC
Probably not the best time to mention he's adopted.
2018-10-10 at 7:21 AM UTC
*posts that picture of that kid with his eyes blacked out* its on my other computer :(
2018-10-10 at 7:28 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ
*posts that picture of that kid with his eyes blacked out* its on my other computer :(
https://i.imgur.com/t4JuVpX.jpghaha I should do an updated one. He's a lot bigger now.
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2018-10-10 at 7:29 AM UTC
Speaking of primary numbers this oine time I was going to the store and I met this guy who was walking the oppposite direction of me and he was like ":hey brah can I bum I smoke" (cuz he saw me smoking) and I said "no sorry this is my last one" (of course I had a full pack and I would've given him one if he wouldn't have asked and just said 'give me a smoke bitch) and so he kept walking and so did I and then we both stopped probably 20 paces away from each other and turned back and looked at each other and stared for a second
then we started walking back toward each other and he's like "I knew you always had one you silly goose" and I extended my entire pack to him and spilled all of my cigs on the ground and he jus tpicked one of them up and helped me pick up the rest and gave them all back to me and I was like "hey man you're actually pretty cool sorry about all that" and he said to me "no problem BREH, I learned from my dad" and I thought that was cool and just shook his hand and walked away, then he stops one more time and yells back to me, "heyyy. by the way. My name is Tommy."
he didn't say that but the rest of that is true
