2018-10-02 at 12:26 AM UTC
bring back taintedbrowser
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2018-10-02 at 1:32 AM UTC
I have a sock stuck inside my left eye socket.
2018-10-02 at 2:53 AM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
My life is going to suck into the new year but it's my own fault. I guess you'll be seeing me for the next 4 months or so. Luckily I'm awesome and love you all
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2018-10-02 at 3:19 AM UTC
Good I'm gonna go the doctor on Wednesday and just tell him fuck it, lets go back to Prozac, dose me heavy and induce a massively unhealthy state of mania in myself to spend on you and this forum for the next 4 months.
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2018-10-02 at 3:28 AM UTC
Leaving thirsday.
Technologically going voluntarily, but to fulfill my legal requirement I have to do whatever the evaluator decided the intensity of my treatment should be.
She chose inpatient, of course, which I'm guessing would not have happened had I not told her about prior heroin use becaus both her and my lawyer and the rehab center screener all talked to me for a moment about considering outpatient rehab, because I haven't "abused" drugs frequently since November, and I got off all of them by myself the first time I tried, including xanax, (the taper of which I initiated becous my doctor was fully happy letting me go full retard the rest of my life on 8mg/day), and IV heroin because I don't have that krekhead gene; I recognize things that are addictive and can put them down. Not everyone can do that,, those people have the krekhead gene, let me use that phrase as much possible.
Once I said the "H" word all talk of outpatient went out the window. Fukk
I've tried literally almost everything there is except crystal tech and mushrooms, and put all of them down the first time I tried. I have a feeling the self-deprication requirement of calling myself a drug addict during 12 steps or whatever they do there is going to be a self inflicting wound, but on the other hand I don't to be made to stay for 90 days before I'm cleared for "refusing to participate seriously". I will freely admit that I have abused drugs and used them irresponsibly, but that is simply not the same as being a drug addict who can't live sober of his own volition. I am sober.
Before I freaked out on my 6stripcandyflip! (patent pending), I got all of my existential questions answered. I have no more questions for Lucy. I don't have any reason to visit her again. That has never happened before, at a hit or two I used to have more appreciation for mysticism and the things that I didn't understand post trip. Now I have all the answers I wanted, I understand all of the concepts of existence that I ever will, and have nothing more to search for existentially speaking. (see m33t threade)
In other words, I am at peace.
yes
2018-10-02 at 3:30 AM UTC
lol. have you ever been to treatment before?
2018-10-02 at 3:31 AM UTC
Also if it's a legal requirement you can just go talk to a different place and then omit the heroin part. You don't have to use the first person's recommendation. or do you WANT to do inpatient?
2018-10-02 at 3:41 AM UTC
Fuck the police, skip rehab. Piss on your bench warrant and arrest warrant and go be a desperado bro.
2018-10-02 at 3:53 AM UTC
That doesn't sound like a good idea. Fuck the police is right, but the police clearly already fucked him. If anything it wold be fuck the man at this point. THE MAN.
2018-10-02 at 4:11 AM UTC
Originally posted by DietPiano
I won't mind going away and being around more people for a while (uhhhhh, are you sure?). The only people I know around my rural as rural gets area, I don't like or probably don't like me.
Also
This is kind of a "funding secured" situation. The "best" treatment available is inpatient. Did you catch that? but what about
INPATIENT
IN.
P
I have a fair amount of cash money built up, but probably not enough to offset student loans which I may not be able to get in the future pending legal developments. That would be problematic, and I don't really want to sever relationships at this point irregardless.
Unless you're a multi millionaire it doesn't matter qabout your money saved up. Jesus how rich are you? That treatment place you showed was like the Malibu Cringe that shit costs like 2k a DAY. You paying CASH? ahahahaha .
I mean I 've been to treatment like 10x at least, several inpatient treatments totally close to 2 years, and inpatient treatments totalling about the same amount of time. At the end of the day, its a nice feeling of sorts to get your head clear and being around people with problems too but its just so fucking cringe as a I look back on it all it just is. But at the time it wasn't, necessarily. I mean the last one I went to was Drug Court as they call it here and I did it in lieu of a few years in prison, I clearly took the 13 month outpatient program, bi-weekly courtroom visits, probabation visits, piss tests, etc etc. That was when I was sober for 2 and half years and it was an ok thing but at the same time I still never actually WANTED to go to any of it. I didn't LIKE it. I didn't have fun, or look forward to going to "GROUP" as its commonly called when you go to your little group sessions and talk about your faggot feelings.
I'm getting mad.
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2018-10-02 at 4:13 AM UTC
I keep hitting the quote b
2018-10-02 at 5:02 AM UTC
Originally posted by DietPiano
Becouse I like to be pampered.
Also I want to get something out of it becoes I am fuckup
This is supposedly one of the best in the country, and while I don't need drug help, I do need to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life and get my head sorted out because both are utterly chaotic.
The local ones are in rural minority/blue collar cities, which is fine, but I have second hand information that they're a joke and they aren't much cheaper.
If I have to live away from home for an extended period of time I want it to be decent. Like, Motel 6 is fine, but I'm willing to spend another 30 bucks for a Best Western. Except this Best Western happens to be a Hyatt for roughly the same price.
Nigga I aint gonna lie to you a treatment program is a treatment program, whether you're surrounded by palm trees or fucking brown unmowed grass filled with piles of dog shit.
You aren't gonna get "more better" by going to a ritzy place. I honestly think it's worse, and I'm just giving you my subjective opinion with a lot of expierience. My dad went to a very famous treatment in minnesota that is well known, fancy, I think uhh swhats his name eric clapton went there..
Truth be told the regular treatments are better, that's when you know you're getting "regular fucks" the ones that could never afford to go to the fancy pants places, the ones who have really been trhough the shit. They're the ones that you can relate to way more. or maybe not, I'm just throwing it out there. I learn way more from homeless people than I ever would from a rich faggot with a coke addiction.
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