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Passing a piss test

  1. #81
    Originally posted by mmQ I'm gonna start selling "clean" piss that's riddled with heroin and meth.

    usually people in my position will buy home test kits and test any fake/substitute/doctored piss themselves before going to give a test
  2. #82
    benny vader YELLOW GHOST
    if it hasnt been mentioned :

    get a large syringe like the kind they use to refill printer inks.

    get a bagg of saline.

    inject the saline into your bladder thru your urethra.

    repeat till bladder is full.
  3. #83
    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Originally posted by mmQ I'm gonna start selling "clean" piss that's riddled with heroin and meth.

  4. #84
    CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    1) buy a cheap food vacuum sealer (FoodSaver) and and a bag of Hot Hands adhesive Toe Warmers or hand warmers, 10 pack of drug tests on amazon.

    2) for 2'or 3 days...for up to a week depending on frequency of use, flush system with water.

    3) when urine tests clean, piss into a glass or metal bowl that you have disinfected with hot water.

    4) use the vacuum/sealer to "create" bags roughly 6x2" inch. Use a sterilized baster to put roughly 1/4 cup urine into each bag.

    5) seal the end and freeze immediately. If you are observed while doing your UA, you can modify the end of the bag with a short length of small gauge surgical tubing, sealed with FlexSeal or hot glue. At the exit end of the tube, you can kink the tubing and tape it in place to seal. An elastic resistance band tied to proper size can anchor the bag in place, and then pressing your legs together, or squeezing your pocket/thigh can squirt out the piss.

    6) Frozen urine can last up to a year. If you're tested randomly, just make it part of your routine. A small oral thermometer is perfect to slip in your pocket for cases where you're not observed. If the pee comes out too hot- either let it sit a minute or two, or put a small splash of sink water in the sample. If you made it too cool, add more pee...this is why you want a bit more in the bag than you actually need (30-50ml). If you are observed, use the less hot hand warmers instead of the toe warmers, buy little adhesive temperature strips on amazon to adhere to your piss bag, and before you walk in, test with an infrared thermometer to ensure temperature is around 100-103. Your finished sample should be between 90- 96 degrees generally, otherwise testers will suspect something. If in doubt and you can't actually test the temp, holding the plastic to your palm or cheek, you shouldn't feel any warmth or cold...it should be just slightly below body temp.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #85
    Technologist victim of incest
    Certain aspects you mentioned won’t work Casper. The donor only has 4 min to produce a sample, if they’re in there longer than 4 mins the tester should call them to come out.

    The donor is not aloud to use the sink, or flush the toilet.

    Those are just some basics, I don’t suggest trying to use temp control. It usually doesn’t work out well.

    How do I know this? I administer drug tests, along with my regular job. There’s so many steps the tester has to be aware of.
  6. #86
    CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Originally posted by Technologist Certain aspects you mentioned won’t work Casper. The donor only has 4 min to produce a sample, if they’re in there longer than 4 mins the tester should call them to come out.

    The donor is not aloud to use the sink, or flush the toilet.

    Those are just some basics, I don’t suggest trying to use temp control. It usually doesn’t work out well.

    How do I know this? I administer drug tests, along with my regular job. There’s so many steps the tester has to be aware of.

    That's why I suggested certain steps to take if you're being observed...such as temperature control being done beforehand, offsite.
  7. #87
    CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    I mean the heat strips get like 115 at their hottest. I pretty much nailed down the process for myself. In a year of bimonthly tests, I only failed once because I forgot my thermometer and it was 98 degrees, when my average sample is like 92.
  8. #88
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by benny vader if it hasnt been mentioned :

    get a large syringe like the kind they use to refill printer inks.

    get a bagg of saline.

    inject the saline into your bladder thru your urethra.

    repeat till bladder is full.

    no.

    it wouldnt work
  9. #89
    infinityshock Black Hole
    something that i know for a fact worked:

    in HS some kid was a major weed junkie...as in smoked before class, at lunch, and on the drive home from school. he was on a sports team and was notified by the coach that the next day everyone on the team was getting piss tested. first thing he did was drink distilled water...about a gallon that day and about a gallon before lunch the next day

    several of his clean friends contributed a total of a full gallon jug of piss

    at lunch during the day of the piss test, his girlfriend (obviously no guy is going to do it) held his dick in one hand while in the other she used a cleaning spritzer/spray bottle with the suction tube in the gallon of clean piss and the discharge spray part (cover removed) stuck completely into his piss hole.

    they spent about an hour spritzing that gallon of piss into him...with about a total of 3/4 of that gallon getting spritzered all over the floor.

    his piss-test was about two hours later and he passed, even though he had just smoked weed about 30 hours prior.
  10. #90
    Technologist victim of incest
    Originally posted by CASPER That's why I suggested certain steps to take if you're being observed…such as temperature control being done beforehand, offsite.


    The temp range is between 90-100.

    Doing it offsite is not a good way either. People that bring pee they’ve tried to keep at body temp, may have to wait for the people ahead of them, sometimes an hour. At my facility, the donor cannot walk out the front door once they’ve signed in, if they do, it’s an automatic fail. We adhere to very strict guidelines because we do testing for the feds.


    Had a guy who had to wait for at least 45 mins. By the time he came back, the urine was wayyyy too cold. There’s certain guidelines we follow if it’s cold or hot, but needless to say they will have to drop again before they leave.

    Don’t see how your bag thing would work in an observed. The donor has to drop their trowsers to mid thigh, pull up their shirt to mid abdomen, and then rotate in a circle.

    I had to pass in my 20s, but golden seal was the stuff to clean it out, and it worked. They detect a lot of that stuff now.

    Also, if the sample is too dilute, the lab sends it back, and the donor must drop again, observed.
  11. #91
    Madman African Astronaut
    You can add a small amount of hand sanitizer to test clean, you can drink lots of fluids and get the ppm below what it needs to be depending on how heavy you smoke, walgreens sells drinks that will make you piss clean.
  12. #92
    ~L J~ African Astronaut [this acceleratory nonflavored troubadour]
    Yea, they have stuff at GNC to mask the detection of weed, or they use to anyway. I’m sure smoke shops have it also. 🤷🏼‍♀️
  13. #93
    CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Originally posted by Madman You can add a small amount of hand sanitizer to test clean, you can drink lots of fluids and get the ppm below what it needs to be depending on how heavy you smoke, walgreens sells drinks that will make you piss clean.

    Hand sanitizer? I'm pretty sure that would be a dead giveaway
  14. #94
    CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Originally posted by Technologist The temp range is between 90-100.

    Doing it offsite is not a good way either. People that bring pee they’ve tried to keep at body temp, may have to wait for the people ahead of them, sometimes an hour. At my facility, the donor cannot walk out the front door once they’ve signed in, if they do, it’s an automatic fail. We adhere to very strict guidelines because we do testing for the feds.


    Had a guy who had to wait for at least 45 mins. By the time he came back, the urine was wayyyy too cold. There’s certain guidelines we follow if it’s cold or hot, but needless to say they will have to drop again before they leave.

    Don’t see how your bag thing would work in an observed. The donor has to drop their trowsers to mid thigh, pull up their shirt to mid abdomen, and then rotate in a circle.

    I had to pass in my 20s, but golden seal was the stuff to clean it out, and it worked. They detect a lot of that stuff now.

    Also, if the sample is too dilute, the lab sends it back, and the donor must drop again, observed.

    I mean I have a little heat pack the side of a credit card, and about 5x as thick. Keeps the pee just over 100. And I keep it between my ballsack and thigh. Never had a problem.
  15. #95
    Ensign Galm African Astronaut [specifically erupt this tetrachloromethane]
    Originally posted by CASPER Hand sanitizer? I'm pretty sure that would be a dead giveaway

    You'd still test dirty too. They'd just be wondering why you put sanitizer in your piss.
  16. #96
    CandyRein Black Hole
    Originally posted by bling bling you must find a child

    ROFL!
    I don’t know why this tickled me

    And yes, what Narc said but I suggest using a non spermicidal condom and putting it in that, somehow keep it close to your body so it’s your body temperature because they do test temperature

    Too bad you don’t have huge boobs to put it under it’d definitely be your body temp
  17. #97
    Madman African Astronaut
    I've literally passed tests using hand sanitizer, for employers doing piss tests themselves it will totally work, if your going to an actual lab I wouldn't count on it but it definitely works for what I use it for.
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