Passing a piss test

1. 2017-09-30 at 2:47 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I use cannabis gummies like twice or thrice a week. How do I pass a piss test, lets say if its in a week?
2. 2017-09-30 at 2:52 PM UTC

   #2
   

   NARCassist gollums fat coach
   you're fucked
   
   
   
   .
3. 2017-09-30 at 2:54 PM UTC

   #3
   

   NARCassist gollums fat coach
   unless you can get some clean piss in a little bottle and keep down your pants. then just put that in the cup instead of pissing into it. depends tho, some places they stand right next to you and others will just give you the cup and wait outside the bathroom.
   
   
   
   .
4. 2017-09-30 at 2:58 PM UTC

   #4
   

   Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
   Go back in time and stop yourself from eating the gummies.
5. 2017-09-30 at 3:09 PM UTC

   #5
   

   bling bling Dark Matter
   aqquire some untampered urine
6. 2017-09-30 at 3:09 PM UTC

   #6
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
   Like Narc said. Get clean piss, keep it refrigerated, sneak it into the test container. Works every time. Nobody is going to want to stare at your dick.
7. 2017-09-30 at 3:12 PM UTC

   #7
   

   bling bling Dark Matter
   you must find a child
8. 2017-09-30 at 3:48 PM UTC

   #8
   

   NARCassist gollums fat coach

   Originally posted by -SpectraL Like Narc said. Get clean piss, keep it refrigerated, sneak it into the test container. Works every time. Nobody is going to want to stare at your dick.

   
   you need to get it as close to 37c as you can and keep it snuggly down your balls to maintain as close to that temp as poss. a lot of those test cups have a thermometer strip on them.
   
   also freeze it if its more than a day before your test. then you defrost by standing the bottle in hot water(not boiling if its a glass bottle) before you go to your test. might be best to get it to about 60c before you leave the house as it will cool considerably on the way to the test site and while you're in the waiting room.
   
   
   
   .
   
   Post last edited by NARCassist at 2017-09-30T15:51:02.750832+00:00
9. 2017-09-30 at 7:43 PM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   So much for being a multimillionaire.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • NARCassist
10. 2017-09-30 at 7:44 PM UTC

    #10
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Your PO is not going to be happy with you
11. 2017-09-30 at 7:47 PM UTC

    #11
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Dargo So much for being a multimillionaire.

    
    Tutorial: How to tell if someone has never taken part in athletic competition in one easy step.
12. 2017-09-30 at 7:48 PM UTC

    #12
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Tutorial: How to tell if someone has never taken part in athletic competition in one easy step.

    
    I dun git it
13. 2017-09-30 at 7:49 PM UTC

    #13
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by -SpectraL Like Narc said. Get clean piss, keep it refrigerated, sneak it into the test container. Works every time. Nobody is going to want to stare at your dick.

    
    Hmm, I know a lot of clean people but then the issue becomes, how do I ask them for a urine sample? That's... not exactly an easy ask.
14. 2017-09-30 at 7:49 PM UTC

    #14
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Tutorial: How to tell if someone has never taken part in athletic competition in one easy step.

    
    Oh, forgot about those. Figured you were applying at McDonalds you Paki.
15. 2017-09-30 at 7:50 PM UTC

    #15
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by mashlehash I dun git it

    
    Dargo's post implies wealthy people don't take piss tests. Which implies that the only context in which he thinks of drug testing is a job interview or collecting welfare or some shit. Not possibly because someone could be competing in a sporting event.
16. 2017-09-30 at 7:50 PM UTC

    #16
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Hmm, I know a lot of clean people but then the issue becomes, how do I ask them for a urine sample? That's… not exactly an easy ask.

    
    Just get synthetic piss
17. 2017-09-30 at 7:53 PM UTC

    #17
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by mashlehash Just get synthetic piss

    
    Where the fuck does one acquire that?
18. 2017-09-30 at 7:58 PM UTC

    #18
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Where the fuck does one acquire that?

    
    
    it's distilled from your own piss
19. 2017-09-30 at 8 PM UTC

    #19
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Where the fuck does one acquire that?

    
    At almost any smoke shop
    
    Do some research
    
    I mean this: save yourself
20. 2017-09-30 at 8:09 PM UTC

    #20
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Ah fuck, this is such a hassle. Stupid stupid stupid.