User Controls

Most bullshit reason you were arrested?

  1. #21
    infinityshock Black Hole
    i just remembered one.

    i was chasing a nigger car thief with a knife and the cops arrested me for it.

    the cop lied on the police report saying his magic observational skills discovered it when in fact i told the cop i had it AFTER he had me cuffed and i was sitting inside the bacon mobile. it was just an excuse to have a valid reason to arrest me since the real reason was he was pussy-hurt that i told him to get off his fat donut-ass and do his job by chasing down the nigger. (thats a quote)

    the charges were completely dropped but the judge said i had to forfeit the knife...which was a $200 'cold-steel' tonto
  2. #22
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Grimace A friend of mine was driving me home after I spent a few hours at his house and had ONE shot of Everclear. Lo and behold, as we pulled onto my street, there were the cops, arresting one of my neighbors (lol). My dumbass friend stops the car anyway so it's too late to try and get him to keep going. The cops turned around and everything. I was all, "Fucking dumbass! Jesus Christ! I hope you have bail money. I am going to jail tonight!" all he said was "Sorry, dude" in a retarded sort of way, but I guess he was worried about his potential DUI.

    Anyway, I get out of the car and start walking the 500ft from the bottom of the road to my house, which forced me to walk right past the flashing blue and red light arrest scene going on. I just tried to act like it was none of my fucking business, which it wasn't. Those faggot cops let me get 1/2 way up the street before they called me out by my NAME. "GRIMACE! Come here for a second."

    "God damnit.", I thought to myself. "Do I fucking run? Do I make them earn their check? One of them is fat. I can definitely outrun him. The other one seems fit, he might get me. Either way, warrant will be issued. Fuck, fuck, FUCK!"

    So I turn around and walk back down to the arrest scene of my neighbor.

    "You been drinking tonight?", the fat one asks.

    "No.", I say.

    "Don't lie to me. I can smell it on you.", he says. This fucking infuriated me, as there was no possible way he could have SMELLED the ONE SHOT of Everclear I took 2 hours prior when I was walking up the street 20ft from him.

    "No you don't. I haven't been drinking.", I say defiantly.

    "We're going to give you a breathalyzer and find out.", he says.

    "No you're not.", I say.

    "We're not? Are you refusing the breathalyzer? If you're not guilty, there is nothing to worry about.", he said with a smirk on his face. The tone in his voice and the smirk on his face sent me into a silent rage.

    "You piece of fucking shit fatass cop", I thought to myself as he stared at me with that smirk on his face.

    "Yeah, you're probably drunk. We know how you GRIMACE'S are.", the cop said while laughing to his buddy. This was it.

    "Yeah? FUCK YOU, bitch!", I shouted and SPIT on his chest, staining his faggot uniform with my spit wad.

    He looked down at it, then looked at me, and I could see the RAGE come over him as he and his partner tackled me and did some sort of backwoods hog tie maneuver as I kicked and thrashed to get me in the back of the car. The whole time, I am screaming, "FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!" as I thrash and try to break free.

    For some reason, and I don't know to this day why, the cop didn't charge me with spitting on him. All I was charged with was disorderly conduct, which was dropped to time served since I spent a week in jail over it.

    Still. That was the dumbest reason I was ever arrested, both on my part for spitting on the faggot fucker and on their part for fucking with me when I was just walking past to go home. I guess they figured "two for one!" while they were there arresting my neighbor.

    I fucking hate cops. Most of them, anyway.

    youre lucky. where i live anyone that spits on a cop gets a full-on tazer. not the contact tazer...the real one with the metal harpoons that skewers the spitter like a christmas goose...then gets cooked like one. the cop keeps their finger on the trigger for longer than necessary, with the goal being to get the spitter to piss/shit themselves.
  3. #23
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    1985 attempting to siphon gas from an in ground tank without a pump,, it was my first attempt at free gas
  4. #24
    Enterita African Astronaut
    Originally posted by POLECAT 1985 attempting to siphon gas from an in ground tank without a pump,, it was my first attempt at free gas

    The fuck? How old are you?
  5. #25
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    Originally posted by infinityshock youre lucky. where i live anyone that spits on a cop gets a full-on tazer. not the contact tazer…the real one with the metal harpoons that skewers the spitter like a christmas goose…then gets cooked like one. the cop keeps their finger on the trigger for longer than necessary, with the goal being to get the spitter to piss/shit themselves.

    Oh, I got that later. Cops showed up at my house and I ran out the front door as they were getting out of their vehicles and they were shouting, "STOP, STOP!" and I just kept running. I almost made it into the woods that bordered my house at the time when I felt a very sharp and stinging pain in my back followed by an excruciating shock that caused my body to lock up and I fell face down and stiff as a board, just gritted my teeth and screamed. They put the cuffs on me then and off I went.

    Yay!
  6. #26
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    Originally posted by Enterita The fuck? How old are you?

    24 on the inside but 53 on the outside
  7. #27
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Grimace Oh, I got that later. Cops showed up at my house and I ran out the front door as they were getting out of their vehicles and they were shouting, "STOP, STOP!" and I just kept running. I almost made it into the woods that bordered my house at the time when I felt a very sharp and stinging pain in my back followed by an excruciating shock that caused my body to lock up and I fell face down and stiff as a board, just gritted my teeth and screamed. They put the cuffs on me then and off I went.

    Yay!



    Originally posted by POLECAT 1985 attempting to siphon gas from an in ground tank without a pump,, it was my first attempt at free gas

    You're pathetic.
  8. #28
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    tell granny I said hi
  9. #29
    mso8 Houston
    i'm too slick to be arrested, sorry
  10. #30
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]
    LMRAO
  11. #31
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    For using my signal before changing lanes and turning, speeding while being on the precise speed limit and for having my seat belt on at all times. Those state police seriously hate black people, that's why whenever I pull over, I have my dash cam and hidden cam aimed directly at their face/badge number and the license plate number.

    The reason why I got pulled over was because I looked not innocent enough until proven guilty, for obeying the law. This has to stop.
  12. #32
    infinityshock Black Hole
    i was pulled over for speeding on my pedal bicycle on a military base...

    ...and given a ticket for speeding
  13. #33
    WE SMOOTH African Astronaut
    Blacked out on Xanax and booze, literally just made it back to a friend's house when a cop rolls by and I decided to wave from the driveway to seem less suspicious.

    Cop decides to pull up right to me and see what I'm doing when I explain I'm just going inside for the night all slurred. He GAYLY sits me in the cop car with the door open and I jump out and am immediately tackled and faceplanted. I may have called him a bitch ass nigga or something as well.

    Ended up getting a resisting charge along with a PI.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  14. #34
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by WE SMOOTH He GAYLY sits me in the cop car with the door open and I jump out and am immediately tackled and faceplanted. I may have called him a bitch ass nigga or something as well.

    sooo...he set you on his lap...

    how deep did it go before you decided it hurt too much...
  15. #35
    Madman African Astronaut
    I'm a sovereign citizen because I'm smart enough to live by my own rules and get away with it and I don't have a single misdemeanor on my record like you idiots. I've been arrested for not leaving a public sidewalk.
  16. #36
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WE SMOOTH Blacked out on Xanax and booze, literally just made it back to a friend's house when a cop rolls by and I decided to wave from the driveway to seem less suspicious.

    Cop decides to pull up right to me and see what I'm doing when I explain I'm just going inside for the night all slurred. He GAYLY sits me in the cop car with the door open and I jump out and am immediately tackled and faceplanted. I may have called him a bitch ass nigga or something as well.

    Ended up getting a resisting charge along with a PI.

    LOL
  17. #37
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III drunk in public.

    also OP is from the final episode of seinfeld you dense fucks

    Well, Enter does like to take inspiration for threads and stories from media.
  18. #38
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Also, i'd say, the times i did get arrested. I kind of had it coming. So meh.
  19. #39
    Ensign Galm African Astronaut [specifically erupt this tetrachloromethane]
    Originally posted by WE SMOOTH Blacked out on Xanax and booze, literally just made it back to a friend's house when a cop rolls by and I decided to wave from the driveway to seem less suspicious.

    Cop decides to pull up right to me and see what I'm doing when I explain I'm just going inside for the night all slurred. He GAYLY sits me in the cop car with the door open and I jump out and am immediately tackled and faceplanted. I may have called him a bitch ass nigga or something as well.

    Ended up getting a resisting charge along with a PI.

    Lol waving to cops has never ended well for me. You think you're being friendly but you're just inviting them to fuck you up.

    This is how I nearly got arrested for hitchhiking despite hitchhiking not being illegal.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  20. #40
    Enterita African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL Lol waving to cops has never ended well for me. You think you're being friendly but you're just inviting them to fuck you up.

    This is how I nearly got arrested for hitchhiking despite hitchhiking not being illegal.

    Yeah those cops will really fuck you in the ass, but I suppose that was your goal when hitchhiking anyway, right?

    Honkity honkity honkity hoo!

Jump to Top