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The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention

  1. Manonfire African Astronaut
    Originally posted by mmQ I see you're taking moves out of Jill the car's playbook.

    U have turned pitiful
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. Manonfire African Astronaut
    Originally posted by CASPER My councillor at the clinic is so hot. And she keeps finding a way to turn the conversation to sex or masturbation or tinder or stuff like that. idk why. Shes probably mid- late 20's, just finished her masters program at USC. She has kind of a hipster chick thing going- glasses with a shock of bleached highlight in her curly brown hair. At first glance youd say she was just white, but with an ass that plump and wide, shes got to have some percentage spanish or south american something-or-other. When she was walking ahead of me down the hall earlier this week, she was wearing these tight patterned like african print cotton pants, and every step that ass had that healthy butt jiggle. I had to physically manifest the "dat ass" face.

    She was asking about the perceptions/expectations people have of tall guys. And i was like "Well until my mid 20's, every time id go to a bar, someone would try to fight me to prove themselves. And of course, everyone expects you have an 11 inch dick…" And she said "And thats not…?" And I said "Minus 30% or so. But i make it up in girth, so its all good. And i eat pussy like its my job so…." and she starts blushing abd burying her face in her hands. When i had to do my UA the other the other day, she said "Casper can I have your peepee please?" and I said "Thats an awful creepy way to ask but sure, ill meet you out back." lol.



    I want to do awful, awful things to her.

    Idk man I've seen pure white women with that perfect large healthy ass.....



    Big perfect ass on a small waist
    Is more powerful then any drug I'll ever have


    Shooooooooewweeeee
  3. Manonfire African Astronaut
    Originally posted by NARCassist yeah i know you're all just trying to wind me up, no worries. the plan is that these people are supposed to give us assistance in finding our own accommodation. apparently they have a number of connections they can help you access. i should hopefully be moved into a private place that is all mine within six months but i'm a bit skeptical about that time frame as they seem to have a lot of staffing issues and these key work sessions which are supposed to be every week or two depending on your needs keep getting postponed. i just switched key worker to this chick who is suddenly starting to seem very intrusive into my private life, way more than any of the others were. i get the feeling she is trying to prove herself someway or is just a general control freak type who gets off on the idea that she can get to control someone like me. i'm hoping she'll back off otherwise i will just pack my bag and fuck off on road, but that will fuck it right up if i have to do that. basically it will all be for nothing and i'll be homeless and back to square one. i can't put up with that kind of shit myself tho, its not in my nature to.



    .

    U would rather pack ur bags
    Then fuking suk it up and let her think shes controlling u?



    Man....what has happened to u.....
  4. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Manonfire U have turned pitiful

    Tell me what you think I meant in my comment. Let's see.
  5. LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]
    I get the feeling you think I was trolling. But that actually happened.
  6. LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]
    In another part of town, I gave a black homeless(?) guy a dollar in change.
  7. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Cause he gave you four dollars for a blowjob.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  8. Ensign Galm African Astronaut [specifically erupt this tetrachloromethane]
    Lsd i missed you
  9. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery https://www.reddit.com/r/watchpeopledie/comments/91t9mb/man_almost_survives_being_attacked_by_a_bull_but/

    After watching the clip, the fucking comments on this post have me dying laughing. Lol

    i lol'd at

    "…he's right behind me, isn't he"



    .
  10. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Manonfire U would rather pack ur bags
    Then fuking suk it up and let her think shes controlling u?



    Man….what has happened to u…..

    its the intrusion into my privacy that i can't stick. you know i have to be so careful here, these fuckers will just knock at the door with no notice with some excuse to come in the flat, obvs looking for drug signs, or if they knock when you're not here they will let themselves in on the pretence of 'checking we're ok'. this shit does my nut right in for starters without all her shit on top.



    .
  11. Originally posted by NARCassist its the intrusion into my privacy that i can't stick. you know i have to be so careful here, these fuckers will just knock at the door with no notice with some excuse to come in the flat, obvs looking for drug signs, or if they knock when you're not here they will let themselves in on the pretence of 'checking we're ok'. this shit does my nut right in for starters without all her shit on top.



    .

    That shit doesn't fly here in the states. They either have to give you I think its 24 or 72 hrs notice before they enter the property depending on the state. It sucks having a babysitter.
  12. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by DietPiano That shit doesn't fly here in the states. They either have to give you I think its 24 or 72 hrs notice before they enter the property depending on the state. It sucks having a babysitter.

    sounds more like he's in some sort of outpatient rehab or reintegration home or something, it won't just be the landlord busting in
  13. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by DietPiano That shit doesn't fly here in the states. They either have to give you I think its 24 or 72 hrs notice before they enter the property depending on the state. It sucks having a babysitter.

    Normally its the same here but this isn't normal private rent. Theyve written these clauses into the tenancy agreement and you have to sign it or they don't help you. So wtf can you do? Like I said, the sooner I get moved on into private rent the better afaic.

    Also the prick from downstairs had the fucking cheek to knock at my door yesterday and ask me for a handout of tobacco. Then today I got a knock, opened the door to him holding out a fucking newspaper. I just looked at him puzzled and he said 'today's paper, thought you might like a read', lol. I said ,'I don't read newspapers', then he asked for tobacco, the creep. Wtf kind of dick goes and bubbles you up, risking you getting evicted or even put back in jail, then comes asking for a fucking handout from me when he's stuck for summing, like nothing happened. That's an A grade pisstaker right there that is.



    .
  14. Originally posted by NARCassist Also the prick from downstairs had the fucking cheek to knock at my door yesterday and ask me for a handout of tobacco. Then today I got a knock, opened the door to him holding out a fucking newspaper. I just looked at him puzzled and he said 'today's paper, thought you might like a read', lol. I said ,'I don't read newspapers', then he asked for tobacco, the creep. Wtf kind of dick goes and bubbles you up, risking you getting evicted or even put back in jail, then comes asking for a fucking handout from me when he's stuck for summing, like nothing happened. That's an A grade pisstaker right there that is.



    .

    This is Benny hill fisting Wallace and gromit which Liam and Noel shit on Pete Dohertys chest level of britishtry
  15. Originally posted by RisiR † Cause he gave you four dollars for a blowjob.

    Rekt.
  16. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    fucking lol, i just come home and the idiot downstairs was in the hallway. he pulled out a pack of baccy and said 'here if you need burn', and started offering me some. i just said 'nah i'm alright' and walked up to my flat. 5 minutes later i get a knock at the door, as i open it its him and he comes to barge right in. so i stand there and don't let him pass and he stops. then i got his finger being pointed right in my face and he's slurringly saying 'HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME? HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME?' then stood there all drunkenly swaying around and giving me this stupid look. so i just said what you doing, go and start a drunken row with some other idiot will ya. he didn't actually do anything more than take barely half a step inside my door and stick his finger in my face, i'm pretty sure he's trying to get me to go at him so he can run crying to those staff and get me kicked out of here. i'm pretty certain now that's his intentions. obviously i'm gonna have to be a bit careful and watch this cunt now.

    nice guy huh? i literally done fuck all but help that guy out with baccy when he first come here and that's how he repays that. these are exactly the people you got to avoid in life. no good horrible cunts. well, i guess i'm gonna have to show him how you really play games then.



    .
  17. Originally posted by NARCassist fucking lol, i just come home and the idiot downstairs was in the hallway. he pulled out a pack of baccy and said 'here if you need burn', and started offering me some. i just said 'nah i'm alright' and walked up to my flat. 5 minutes later i get a knock at the door, as i open it its him and he comes to barge right in. so i stand there and don't let him pass and he stops. then i got his finger being pointed right in my face and he's slurringly saying 'HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME? HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME?' then stood there all drunkenly swaying around and giving me this stupid look. so i just said what you doing, go and start a drunken row with some other idiot will ya. he didn't actually do anything more than take barely half a step inside my door and stick his finger in my face, i'm pretty sure he's trying to get me to go at him so he can run crying to those staff and get me kicked out of here. i'm pretty certain now that's his intentions. obviously i'm gonna have to be a bit careful and watch this cunt now.

    nice guy huh? i literally done fuck all but help that guy out with baccy when he first come here and that's how he repays that. these are exactly the people you got to avoid in life. no good horrible cunts. well, i guess i'm gonna have to show him how you really play games then.



    .

    Didnt read but i can tell its fake and gay
  18. WE SMOOTH African Astronaut
    New meth comedown jam:

  19. Ensign Galm African Astronaut [specifically erupt this tetrachloromethane]
    You can usually tell how poor someone is by how often they interact with their neighbors

    Narc is dirt poor
  20. WE SMOOTH African Astronaut


    Fun..

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