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good drug stash spots for dealing with TSA/customs

  1. #1
    For bringing a small amount of powder, or powder in solution. Anyone got any good ideas for something that customs wouldn't even think twice about?
  2. #2
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    Sure. Inside you. This is always the time-honored classic. Suitcase up, boy.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    Daily an(nu)ally [dissolutely whisk the pantheon]
    sellotape it to your back
    hide it in your hair
    keep it in your mouth
  4. #4
    Daily an(nu)ally [dissolutely whisk the pantheon]
    put it in your ear and pretend it's a hearing aid
  5. #5
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    Take a piece of cling wrap and wrap drugs up tight within it length-wise to make a "tube" shape.
    Fold this "tube" over in half. Fold it over again.
    Take electrical tape and as tightly as you can, wrap it up to compress the shit out of it and make it into an "egg" shape.
    Lube it up and insert it in your ass. Repeat as necessary.

    Retrieval is as simple as shitting it out and unwrapping. Some protips though, be sure to shit before you do this. Otherwise your "eggs" will become part of the CONGLOMERATE of your shit. Quite disgusting to pick apart.

    Old prison smuggling tricks I used to use to bring in flip-phones and tobacco
  6. #6
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    Stay high as fuck, kids.
  7. #7
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by greenplastic For bringing a small amount of powder, or powder in solution. Anyone got any good ideas for something that customs wouldn't even think twice about?

    correct answer: d) none of the above

    every plausible means of internal and external smuggling of 'contraband' has been tried and the notes passed amongst the various law enforcement agencies.

    there are two that I 'invented' and have never seen publicized in 'FOUO' or up until a few years ago 'CONFIDENTIAL' law enforcement notifications. one is a modification of a normal body cavity smuggling technique the other is one ive never heard of anywhere and is too complicated for your abilities. (forrest gump voice: ) thats all ive got to say about that.
  8. #8
    Originally posted by Grimace Take a piece of cling wrap and wrap drugs up tight within it length-wise to make a "tube" shape.
    Fold this "tube" over in half. Fold it over again.
    Take electrical tape and as tightly as you can, wrap it up to compress the shit out of it and make it into an "egg" shape.
    Lube it up and insert it in your ass. Repeat as necessary.

    Retrieval is as simple as shitting it out and unwrapping. Some protips though, be sure to shit before you do this. Otherwise your "eggs" will become part of the CONGLOMERATE of your shit. Quite disgusting to pick apart.

    Old prison smuggling tricks I used to use to bring in flip-phones and tobacco

    Man, what if the body scan catches it? I know it won't, it can see your turds. Those $30k second chance niggas dont care. Really powdered drugs are as easy as emptying out some foundation
  9. #9
    Find a hoodie or something with two "layers" and turn it inside out and cut a small slit inside and stick it down in between the inner and outer layer, carefully stich the slit, put it among a bunch of clothes in a suitcase/bag. You could optionally put a suspicious decoy such as a plastic baggie with innocent supplement capsules containing a white powder. Or maybe they'll suspect thats a distracter item and probe further...maybe don't.

    Post last edited by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick at 2017-11-19T19:12:10.322306+00:00
  10. #10
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    Originally posted by Wick Sweat Man, what if the body scan catches it? I know it won't, it can see your turds. Those $30k second chance niggas dont care. Really powdered drugs are as easy as emptying out some foundation

    During prison, I was assigned to a detail that poured concrete for a city about 20 miles away. We would do all the pouring for wheelchair ramps, sidewalks, etc. I didn't give a shit what I was doing. It got me out of the prison for 10 hours a day.

    Coming back into the prison, each inmate had to sit on a "contraband detection chair" which was designed to see if anything was in your ass. Either it didn't work, or we were too slick, as no one ever triggered it. In addition to that, we had the traditional strip naked, squat, and cough routine. Anyone who has smuggled some shit knows how to hold it in even during that.

    It was pretty straightforward.
  11. #11
    stick it in your pee hole
  12. #12
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Grimace Take a piece of cling wrap and wrap drugs up tight within it length-wise to make a "tube" shape.
    Fold this "tube" over in half. Fold it over again.
    Take electrical tape and as tightly as you can, wrap it up to compress the shit out of it and make it into an "egg" shape.
    Lube it up and insert it in your ass. Repeat as necessary.

    Retrieval is as simple as shitting it out and unwrapping. Some protips though, be sure to shit before you do this. Otherwise your "eggs" will become part of the CONGLOMERATE of your shit. Quite disgusting to pick apart.

    Old prison smuggling tricks I used to use to bring in flip-phones and tobacco

    you're doing it wrong panny





    .
  13. #13
    I'm telling!
  14. #14
    But just for shits.

    You could open a ircuit board up, and look at the pattern of it.. and make press your drugs into flour/sugar into the shape of a circuit board. not sure what kind of drug that small can get you high, but that way when they run it through those xrays they just see a circuit board. of course they chemical sniff out shit .. that's because we live in the 21st century and not 1960. so most likely a red circle would show up and you would have your anus probed.


    have fun. there is no fucking way to get through a machine these days with anything. You can protest not to go into one, and have them pat search you and with a wand. but they might bring in a dog too.

    fgts!
  15. #15
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    if its a small amount then you tie it up inside some diaper bag, get it tight and small as you can. double it up again in another piece of diaper bag. after the knot is tight as you can get it, cut the excess off and use a lighter for a couple of seconds to perma-seal the knot. the diaper bags are made of a special polythene that is designed to keep the odor of dirty diapers sealed in. that way while its in your ass your drugs won't take on the distinct aroma of the inside of your ass. if its that small tho just keep it in your mouth while going through the customs part and be ready to discretely swallow if they ask you to accompany them to another room.



    .
  16. #16
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    Originally posted by NARCassist if its a small amount then you tie it up inside some diaper bag, get it tight and small as you can. double it up again in another piece of diaper bag. after the knot is tight as you can get it, cut the excess off and use a lighter for a couple of seconds to perma-seal the knot. the diaper bags are made of a special polythene that is designed to keep the odor of dirty diapers sealed in. that way while its in your ass your drugs won't take on the distinct aroma of the inside of your ass. if its that small tho just keep it in your mouth while going through the customs part and be ready to discretely swallow if they ask you to accompany them to another room.



    .

    They can't smell it in your ass if you use the method I used. If they can, one of two scenarios:

    1: You have a gaping asshole
    2: They have the nose of a bloodhound.
  17. #17
    Originally posted by Grimace During prison, I was assigned to a detail that poured concrete for a city about 20 miles away. We would do all the pouring for wheelchair ramps, sidewalks, etc. I didn't give a shit what I was doing. It got me out of the prison for 10 hours a day.

    Coming back into the prison, each inmate had to sit on a "contraband detection chair" which was designed to see if anything was in your ass. Either it didn't work, or we were too slick, as no one ever triggered it. In addition to that, we had the traditional strip naked, squat, and cough routine. Anyone who has smuggled some shit knows how to hold it in even during that.

    It was pretty straightforward.

    Lol Grimace this is what i love about sundays.


    And for what its worth I've stuck an 8th of dank in a pillbottle in my backpack and got thru.
  18. #18
    Originally posted by Grimace They can't smell it in your ass if you use the method I used. If they can, one of two scenarios:

    1: You have a gaping asshole
    2: They have the nose of a bloodhound.

    Scenario 1.
  19. #19
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Alternatively you can sew the egg inside your flesh and claim it's a goiter.
  20. #20
    sneak out onto the tarmac and hide in the wheel-well of the airliner.

    Problem solved.
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