User Controls
Just beat the shit out of scron...
-
2017-11-06 at 8:49 PM UTCI don't know what I mean by that, but I stand by it.
-
2017-11-06 at 8:50 PM UTC
-
2017-11-06 at 8:51 PM UTC
-
2017-11-06 at 8:51 PM UTCWhat possessed you to mutilate your penis?
-
2017-11-06 at 8:53 PM UTCI don't remember.
-
2017-11-06 at 9:13 PM UTC
Originally posted by 霍比特人说中文不好 He stole from you. Twice.
He didn't. I blacked out on etiz, and he stayed with me the whole night worried I was dying. He even made a reddit thread about it. He was on 4-aco. When he was finally reasonably sure I was okay, he wrote a cute note saying something like "Took the rest of the 4-aco and went to Toronto to get weed ♥" with a heart and everything. A normal girlfriend would wake up with that and think "aww, he's sweet... can't wait til he gets home". He came home with weed and beers. I was smoking/vaping 3-FPM and on etiz, and he took the cigarettes downtown with him and I couldn't find my vape.
For some reason the sign set me off. I had a "friend" once who gained my trust and stole $300 worth of shit from me. I thought he was doing the same thing. I trusted him. I love him. I thought he was gaining my trust just to fuck me over. So I burned all his clothes while he was in Toronto. When he got back he thought I was breaking up with him... burning your SOs clothes is a pretty universal symbol, but it's not even what I meant - I just wanted to destroy something of his. I figured even without those clothes he had some of mine, and he didn't need that blanket because we were sharing one. I didn't intend on him being on the street, cold, with not warm clothes or blanket.
He figured we were done though, so he stole the fleshlight ("I'mma be single anyway..." - his words). But I still couldn't find my phone or my vape. So I asked to search his bag. If something of yours is missing, and you ask if you can look in a person's bag and they get SUPER defensive about it... you pretty much goddamn well know it's in the bag. So I reached for it and he fucking BOLTED. Threw a cast iron bucket at my head, I caught up and tackled him etc.
A little more shit happened, he ended up under the bridge huddled up in pain... I felt terrible so I tried to start a fire for him because he said he was cold. He thought I was stealing his phone too, because it was still at my place so I went and got it for him. When I came back I was like "you can have it back, but I want to look in your bag" and he still wouldn't let me. A scuffle ensued, I ended up with the bag, he ended up with a giant ass stick threatening to beat my ass with it (and I had a knife out).
That's when I opened the bag to discover... fleshlight.
That's the whole story. I love him. I loved him even when I was kicking his ass. I was kicking his ass because I loved him and I thoguht he was abusing my feelings for him. Instead I was just physically abusing him. I piece of shit, not him.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-11-06 at 9:19 PM UTCOK. So, /chapter. /book. /life.
Now go search how to make money online from the comfort of your bedroom and spend it all on wasting away. It's trending. -
2017-11-06 at 9:35 PM UTC
-
2017-11-06 at 9:36 PM UTC
-
2017-11-06 at 10:03 PM UTCHahahahaha
-
2017-11-06 at 10:07 PM UTCYou're both fucked in the head. It's not your fault he's homeless. That's because he's a lazy tweaker thief. He tried to shoplift for a living. You should just move on for your own good, but we all know you won't. Thanks for updating us with this hilarious shit, though.
-
2017-11-06 at 11:15 PM UTCYou scar yourself, sean.
It's okay, some women are named sean too.
You can still fit in (no you can't) -
2017-11-06 at 11:20 PM UTC
Originally posted by HTS A little more shit happened, he ended up under the bridge huddled up in pain… I felt terrible so I tried to start a fire for him because he said he was cold. He thought I was stealing his phone too, because it was still at my place so I went and got it for him. When I came back I was like "you can have it back, but I want to look in your bag" and he still wouldn't let me. A scuffle ensued, I ended up with the bag, he ended up with a giant ass stick threatening to beat my ass with it (and I had a knife out).
Best paragraph. -
2017-11-06 at 11:31 PM UTC
Originally posted by HTS He didn't. I blacked out on etiz, and he stayed with me the whole night worried I was dying. He even made a reddit thread about it. He was on 4-aco. When he was finally reasonably sure I was okay, he wrote a cute note saying something like "Took the rest of the 4-aco and went to Toronto to get weed ♥" with a heart and everything. A normal girlfriend would wake up with that and think "aww, he's sweet… can't wait til he gets home". He came home with weed and beers. I was smoking/vaping 3-FPM and on etiz, and he took the cigarettes downtown with him and I couldn't find my vape.
For some reason the sign set me off. I had a "friend" once who gained my trust and stole $300 worth of shit from me. I thought he was doing the same thing. I trusted him. I love him. I thought he was gaining my trust just to fuck me over. So I burned all his clothes while he was in Toronto. When he got back he thought I was breaking up with him… burning your SOs clothes is a pretty universal symbol, but it's not even what I meant - I just wanted to destroy something of his. I figured even without those clothes he had some of mine, and he didn't need that blanket because we were sharing one. I didn't intend on him being on the street, cold, with not warm clothes or blanket.
He figured we were done though, so he stole the fleshlight ("I'mma be single anyway…" - his words). But I still couldn't find my phone or my vape. So I asked to search his bag. If something of yours is missing, and you ask if you can look in a person's bag and they get SUPER defensive about it… you pretty much goddamn well know it's in the bag. So I reached for it and he fucking BOLTED. Threw a cast iron bucket at my head, I caught up and tackled him etc.
A little more shit happened, he ended up under the bridge huddled up in pain… I felt terrible so I tried to start a fire for him because he said he was cold. He thought I was stealing his phone too, because it was still at my place so I went and got it for him. When I came back I was like "you can have it back, but I want to look in your bag" and he still wouldn't let me. A scuffle ensued, I ended up with the bag, he ended up with a giant ass stick threatening to beat my ass with it (and I had a knife out).
That's when I opened the bag to discover… fleshlight.
That's the whole story. I love him. I loved him even when I was kicking his ass. I was kicking his ass because I loved him and I thoguht he was abusing my feelings for him. Instead I was just physically abusing him. I piece of shit, not him.
you two and your circus could put jerry springer out of business. get sploo and Bill Krozbynigger to join the freak show and you all could be rich. -
2017-11-06 at 11:39 PM UTC
-
2017-11-06 at 11:59 PM UTC
Originally posted by RestStop Nah…what was that all about?
it was when he was on his 'butthole ladies' thing, brewed some beer using one of those shit kits you get at the grocery store and gave it away as a prize for something or other. He even colour-printed labels that read 'BUTTHOLE BEER' with a picture of a growling bear's head emerging from a girl's small hole and 'drink anally' as a serving suggestion -
2017-11-07 at 12:22 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra it was when he was on his 'butthole ladies' thing, brewed some beer using one of those shit kits you get at the grocery store and gave it away as a prize for something or other. He even colour-printed labels that read 'BUTTHOLE BEER' with a picture of a growling bear's head emerging from a girl's small hole and 'drink anally' as a serving suggestion
Are there some visuals of this beer can? -
2017-11-07 at 2:34 AM UTC
-
2017-11-07 at 3:01 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra it was when he was on his 'butthole ladies' thing, brewed some beer using one of those shit kits you get at the grocery store and gave it away as a prize for something or other. He even colour-printed labels that read 'BUTTHOLE BEER' with a picture of a growling bear's head emerging from a girl's small hole and 'drink anally' as a serving suggestion
He tried so fucking hard to be liked. -
2017-11-07 at 3:02 AM UTC
