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Things you've put your dick inside
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2017-09-18 at 12:34 PM UTC
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2017-09-18 at 6:30 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 4:53 PM UTCPregnant lolis are not attractive.
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2017-09-19 at 5:06 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 5:12 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 5:14 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 5:27 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 7:01 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 7:04 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 7:06 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 7:17 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 7:26 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 8:43 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie Pregnant lolis are not attractive.
Speaking of pregnant, my girlfriend was cooking the other day and preparing) defrosting this whole chicken for roasting, and then she screamed and came into my room, shaking.
She tells me she's been spooked by this chicken, because it was pregnant, she'd never seen a chicken with undeveloped eggs inside it's body. They looked like orange pickled lemons or something, or loquats. I went and cleaned them out for her.
The chicken itself ended up being the weirdest, toughest chicken I have ever eaten. This was not your average chicken. This chicken wasn't kept on a trust fund all it's life. This chicken had been to Shawshank and had been lifting weights daily, getting ripped. This chicken had probably shanked somebody in its lifetime. This chicken was probably a member
a of the Aryan brotherhood This chicken was born in Inglewood and raised in the Bronx by a single mother, because she divorced it's father and moved after it was born. This chicken paid taxes and lived a hard life.
In Pakistan they have something called "desi murghi" i.e. wild or non-poultry farmed chicken. It tastes kind of different but it is bloody delicious and it's slightly tougher, but not unpleasantly so. This is initially what I thought this chicken was.
Nope.
Usually when I carve a roasted chicken, I am a fucking champ and I can easily use a paring knife + form to carve one up in 3-5 minutes flat, and beautiful with no rips too. My usual tactic is to star by taking off the wings, then the legs, the make an incision through the center of its chest and up it's neckbone, then saw through its ribs, up to its shoulder socket, and sever it right through, which bisects the breast.
Not this chicken. It seemed that even in death, it tried to protect its young. If the zombie uprising is coming, this fucking chicken will be the final boss. It had 10/10 durability rating. Every joint was surrounded by knotted, twisted sinew and had a weird bony overhang that made it impossible to wriggle my knife into its ball sockets and easily sever any joint.
Finally, I resorted to cutting to the joints from either side, and just ripping the socket it with brute force and twisting. Motherfucker, I swear this chicken was doing BJJ with me. It took me a good ten minutes to twist each limb off. And finally, when I was done... Fuck, the chicken's flesh itself was tough as nails. The only part that was remotely edible for normal people imo was the breast... But I took this chicken as a motherfucking challenge and devoured every last, leather-like bite.
#dirtybulk -
2017-09-19 at 8:46 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 8:48 PM UTC
Originally posted by Captain Falcon Speaking of pregnant, my girlfriend was cooking the other day and preparing) defrosting this whole chicken for roasting, and then she screamed and came into my room, shaking.
She tells me she's been spooked by this chicken, because it was pregnant, she'd never seen a chicken with undeveloped eggs inside it's body. They looked like orange pickled lemons or something, or loquats. I went and cleaned them out for her.
The chicken itself ended up being the weirdest, toughest chicken I have ever eaten. This was not your average chicken. This chicken wasn't kept on a trust fund all it's life. This chicken had been to Shawshank and had been lifting weights daily, getting ripped. This chicken had probably shanked somebody in its lifetime. This chicken was probably a member
a of the Aryan brotherhood This chicken was born in Inglewood and raised in the Bronx by a single mother, because she divorced it's father and moved after it was born. This chicken paid taxes and lived a hard life.
In Pakistan they have something called "desi murghi" i.e. wild or non-poultry farmed chicken. It tastes kind of different but it is bloody delicious and it's slightly tougher, but not unpleasantly so. This is initially what I thought this chicken was.
Nope.
Usually when I carve a roasted chicken, I am a fucking champ and I can easily use a paring knife + form to carve one up in 3-5 minutes flat, and beautiful with no rips too. My usual tactic is to star by taking off the wings, then the legs, the make an incision through the center of its chest and up it's neckbone, then saw through its ribs, up to its shoulder socket, and sever it right through, which bisects the breast.
Not this chicken. It seemed that even in death, it tried to protect its young. If the zombie uprising is coming, this fucking chicken will be the final boss. It had 10/10 durability rating. Every joint was surrounded by knotted, twisted sinew and had a weird bony overhang that made it impossible to wriggle my knife into its ball sockets and easily sever any joint.
Finally, I resorted to cutting to the joints from either side, and just ripping the socket it with brute force and twisting. Motherfucker, I swear this chicken was doing BJJ with me. It took me a good ten minutes to twist each limb off. And finally, when I was done… Fuck, the chicken's flesh itself was tough as nails. The only part that was remotely edible for normal people imo was the breast… But I took this chicken as a motherfucking challenge and devoured every last, leather-like bite.
#dirtybulk
in other words...you were ass raped by a dead bird... -
2017-09-19 at 8:50 PM UTC
Originally posted by Captain Falcon Speaking of pregnant, my girlfriend was cooking the other day and preparing) defrosting this whole chicken for roasting, and then she screamed and came into my room, shaking.
She tells me she's been spooked by this chicken, because it was pregnant, she'd never seen a chicken with undeveloped eggs inside it's body. They looked like orange pickled lemons or something, or loquats. I went and cleaned them out for her.
The chicken itself ended up being the weirdest, toughest chicken I have ever eaten. This was not your average chicken. This chicken wasn't kept on a trust fund all it's life. This chicken had been to Shawshank and had been lifting weights daily, getting ripped. This chicken had probably shanked somebody in its lifetime. This chicken was probably a member
a of the Aryan brotherhood This chicken was born in Inglewood and raised in the Bronx by a single mother, because she divorced it's father and moved after it was born. This chicken paid taxes and lived a hard life.
In Pakistan they have something called "desi murghi" i.e. wild or non-poultry farmed chicken. It tastes kind of different but it is bloody delicious and it's slightly tougher, but not unpleasantly so. This is initially what I thought this chicken was.
Nope.
Usually when I carve a roasted chicken, I am a fucking champ and I can easily use a paring knife + form to carve one up in 3-5 minutes flat, and beautiful with no rips too. My usual tactic is to star by taking off the wings, then the legs, the make an incision through the center of its chest and up it's neckbone, then saw through its ribs, up to its shoulder socket, and sever it right through, which bisects the breast.
Not this chicken. It seemed that even in death, it tried to protect its young. If the zombie uprising is coming, this fucking chicken will be the final boss. It had 10/10 durability rating. Every joint was surrounded by knotted, twisted sinew and had a weird bony overhang that made it impossible to wriggle my knife into its ball sockets and easily sever any joint.
Finally, I resorted to cutting to the joints from either side, and just ripping the socket it with brute force and twisting. Motherfucker, I swear this chicken was doing BJJ with me. It took me a good ten minutes to twist each limb off. And finally, when I was done… Fuck, the chicken's flesh itself was tough as nails. The only part that was remotely edible for normal people imo was the breast… But I took this chicken as a motherfucking challenge and devoured every last, leather-like bite.
#dirtybulk
so what you saying, you put your dick inside it?
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2017-09-19 at 8:53 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 8:53 PM UTC
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2017-09-19 at 9:01 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-09-19 at 9:19 PM UTC
