2017-09-02 at 3:32 AM UTC
before you say wrong forum, i would say this fits better in spur because its not a specific rant about someone or something on this site just life in general. lately everything has been making me angry. see, when i was younger i was a little bitch, 12 through 16 intolerable at points but still with moments of clarity. drug use or not, there was intermittent anger that i needed to blow off steam to live life.
for some reason i shut down lately, dont know how lately, but i just stopped responding to the constant bullshit fighting in my house of my alcoholic speedfreak gambling adduict schizophrenic father and my narcicistic passive aggressive opiate addict neurotic mother. i just snapped, a couple of weeks ago. usually, based on the past i would probably hit my dad end up in jail but now its actually concentrated, real fucking loathing seeping deep inside hate that has me living out very enjoyable plans of execution of certain events in my head
uits not psychosis or illogical, my father makes people suffer. he ruins lives. he drains resources. am i a bad person for wanting him dead? he has problems the world has problems and i admit when my mother is out of the house almost all the stress is gone. she never loved anyone so i cant blame her. anhedonia is a bitch. except her father just walked out on her when she was a kid and shes been a fucking loser every since. no wonder my grandfather ditched the bitch and grandbitch
so... anger... what the fuck do i do
2017-09-02 at 3:34 AM UTC
and i go off the edge insulting my mother sometimes i feel like the worst fucking person in thje world, probably genetically programmed to not be a dick to your mother, but she deserves it tho. thats the conundrum.
2017-09-02 at 4:07 AM UTC
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-09-02 at 4:33 AM UTC
mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
Don't let the variable of addiction stand between the very real aspects of unconditional love. Addiction can cause all sorts of actions that can hurt one another.
I can't speak for your parents, and I can't speak for you but honestly question this to yourself:
Do you think that your parents love you?
Do you love your parents?
Let me ask you this: When's the last time you truly felt appreciative of your family?
When's the last time you all made a joint effort to do something as a family? This is something that I too struggle with.
When's the last time you were happy as a family doing something together?
You all need to work on it together. Think for others, and you may find an unexpected reciprocity of affection.
Addiction can cause a flourish of emotions that can manifest in very confusing ways that can make you or another react in very different emotional and physical ways that can hurt one another or even yourself.
Misunderstanding is something that people get all the time. For example:
It can cause a seeming disinterest from your parents (speaking from experience) or it can cause you to physically harm yourself.
I'm definitely not trying to put the blame game on any one of you because unconditional understanding can come as quite complex . You can easily get confused with the actions of another friend or family member.
Sometimes you need to sit down and analyze the actions of yourself or another. This might seem like a hard and confusing thing to do as emotions can come front forth and make you react.
It's very important to think about your actions and how they affect another person or people. Even I have troubles with this. Everybody does.
You're not mental because you have negative thoughts just like your parents don't not love you for seeming neglecting. Everyone can get caught up inside one's head and sometimes you just need to think for another.
I don't mean that it's your mother, your father or your fault.
You just need to work on it
Talk it out, you'd be surprised how good you feel afterwards
2017-09-02 at 4:37 AM UTC
mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
Youy nigga Joe
Work through these emotions
2017-09-02 at 4:46 AM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
The anger is actually hurting you. The more you get angry, the sicker you make yourself, both in mind and body. You have to exert deliberate control over your emotions. So when something, or someone, makes you angry, even if you are in the right, you have to blow it off and be productive and constructive anyways, instead of using that to be self destructive. Don't let people see they have gotten to you, if they have; that just translates as weakness to them, and encourages them to go even further. You have to control your own being, your own body, your own mind. You must be the master of your own existence and your own destiny. If you let others control you, they win, and you lose.
2017-09-02 at 4:51 AM UTC
Angry? Be advised that anger is fear announced.
2017-09-02 at 4:54 AM UTC
mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
Well, I'm psychotic ;)
Fear goes hand and hand.
2017-09-02 at 8:23 AM UTC
Oral administration is for pussies. Take it straight to the dome(head).
2017-09-02 at 8:27 AM UTC
you need to take it as a suppository
