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The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-09-01 at 6:35 PM UTCI am so lost on this conversation.. all of you know one another about some bizzare pedo'y shit?
what is this fuking 1 year olds. what the fuck is wrong with you.. you think that's funny -
2017-09-01 at 7:03 PM UTCCalls someone else a narcissist. Posts multiple college length essays about her personal relationships and private issues. Jeez, man. Don't you have a kid you should be focusing on?
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2017-09-01 at 7:11 PM UTCAlready been posted by Michael Myers before but the lyrics do be fly tho:
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2017-09-01 at 7:18 PM UTC
Originally posted by hydromorphone Oh… I didn't even mention. I'd given PoC approx. 500$ birthday present, not even including all the little odds and ends, drove nearly 1k miles round trip to visit him on my dime, and probably would still have my job if not going for his birthday, so I wouldn't be in the situation of prostituting in the first place. Nevermind going too, knowing full well, I'd be in WDs for the trip home/getting home.
I got two lousy charms and a card. To my 5-6 letters I'd written him, at his request, and also promise for him to return the favor, which he never did.
So.. who used who here…
It also might have been a shitty cake, but I tried to bae him a homemade cake, coconut, as he requested for his birthday too. I put so much more stress on myself than I should have for such a shitty, awful human being. I should know better. I should know not to trust anyone, not to love anyone, because as always, despite their claims of wanting to help me, of understanding me, of being "there" for me, nope… it wont happen and I'll always get fucked in the end.
EDIT: also hilarious that I was accused of caring more about my medicine than anyone else, especially when I'd mailed him shit like 4 times to help him til he could make an order (gave himmy account details so he could use my discount) that he still, month after month never made despite saying he was going to. Yep.. I'm the shitty person in this situation though. IDC anymore. My heart has no love for anyone or anything at this point. He broke me good and hard this time.
Post last edited by hydromorphone at 2017-09-01T18:36:00.809623+00:00
Why in the shit did you do any of that. I skim your posts usually trying to get the gist of them, but I really don't know about you and Crack's relationship or how long you've been talking, etc. What I've gathered and may have wrong, is that you have talked to him for a long time maybe at least a few years, and just recently took a different fancy to him, and he to you, what with you traveling to him. Was that meant to be a relationship or was it meant to just be a visit?
Piles, from what relatively little of his I've read since I joined zoklet, has always been self-admittedly a defeatist and a heavily depressed and more or less worthless individual. Ha. I'm not saying he is, I'm just saying he's kind of always had that attitude I think though he's had spurts of good times and better spirits, he's actually kind of similar to me in that regard. But, my point is when someone claims that about himself, and given your history, it should raise an immediate large orange fuzzy flag at full mast that stays erect forever. This flag reminds you that no matter how sincere, how sweet, how genuine a person might sound... unless you've seen a noticeable change in them over a period of at least 6 months, they are probably filling you full of shit.
I mean you clearly see that now, expressing it in your posts about 'how you should have known.' I think it's apparent to me that you have a good heart and well, likely really want a partner to share it with.. I could be wrong. But you've chosen for whatever reason to get involved with a few people from this community and both have been the complete opposite experiences of what you had hoped for. You want to be that perfect girlfriend? maybe? Being there, giving gifts, stuff like that, and you can do that, and all you need to do is not fux with depressed alcoholics and haphazard lifestyle drug users.
Meh this kind of just sounds like generic advice. I was about to tell you to be patient, the right man will come along. Haha. But I mean, I guess that sometimes ends up being true. Anyway I'm sure you know what I mean. Just don't become one of the cringe-girls that have some bad relationships and need to bring up how 'all men suck' as often as possible. I don't think you're that type anyway. Most of us are shitheads but you can usually spot it out, and then all you have to do is not convince yourself that you can make it work, or that you can fix us. You can't fix someone. Except me. Send me $1000 and a cake and you'll have cured my depression.
I am curious what was running through your mind when you thought a)giving poc $500 is a good idea and b)when you decided that it needed to be $500 instead of a normal birthday gift like $50 or maybe $100?
Gracias you.
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2017-09-01 at 7:29 PM UTClosers
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2017-09-01 at 8:01 PM UTC
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2017-09-01 at 8:02 PM UTCsend me a pic
25/M/kansas -
2017-09-01 at 9:02 PM UTC
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2017-09-01 at 9:06 PM UTC
Originally posted by hydromorphone I truly didn't mean that, but since pretty much everyone has already come out with it anyway. Sorry for that too, §m£ÂgØL. At least it's a super common name.
As far as me needing to be "turned in" for my crimes, I've never committed any crimes, save unless you consider buying small quantities of drugs crimes. Nothing worse, and I know for fact far less than the bulk of the community has committed. I've never robbed anyone, stolen from anybody, or done anything to harm (we can go back and forth on the issue with the gun, §m£ÂgØL, and my ex- fact is, had I called the police and reported what had been done to me by them both up to that point, they'd both would have been arrested and had domestic abuse charges against them, and they'd bth been told to leave the property numerous times before it escalated to a firearm being brandished, to which §m£ÂgØL wasn't even in the same room as the firearm on the second occasion and never once had it leveled in his direction/at him (which is the god's honest truth). Had I just called the cops to get his drunk ass and beer off my property, he'd have been arrested for putting his hands around my neck- even if I'd have called after the fact of biting him, where the bite was made, it could have only been made with his arms around my neck/shoulders from behind and was clearly a defense wound. That would have been assault and battery for sure. I didn't want him, or anyone to deal with the police or go to jail though. I just wanted shit to end, to stop. I hindsight, I should have, and if ever a situation arises as did, again with anyone, I will. I learned my lesson there. §m£ÂgØL forgets that just because he was fucked up mentally on a analog psychedelic, that what he did to me when I was trying to help and protect him, had I reported it would have been assault and battery on a pregnant woman, from kicking me in the stomach, and forcing his fingers in my mouth. I don't think he had enough awareness though, or maturity, to own up to that, and somehow thinks because he was in an altered mental state that he should have a pass, or somehow that didn't harm me psychologically. It's whatever. It ended for the best as it did for being such a shitty situation. I've let go o any anger I may have had, glad he's gone, not harmed, not in jail/prison, and living his own life, and hopefully he can walk away with some lesson or something, as I have from the whole ordeal.)
Me posting anything about PoC is basically a warning. If you know or have dealings with him, be careful. He will betray any trust you place in him. He has zero honor, and deep down is just a selfish little boy who cries wolf. He gets off on having people worry about him, and causing them distress, then turns it around, manipulating the situation to make it look like everyone else is in the wrong for being worried like they were (i.e. saying he was going to kill himself several times after work, posting on here he was going to kill himself/wanting ideas/being erratic, then letting his phone die while he was havign a good time getting high at his friend's house knowing full well he left three people worried sick about him with no idea what was going on, if he was okay, if he did it finally or whatever… and acted like this was no big deal. If he didn't want to talk, that's fine, I didn't either, but just saying something like "I went to my friend's house to chill" would have relieved all three people of stress, anxiety and worry, which he was well aware he caused, and would cause, before, during, and after.)
PoC is a narcissist, just like his mother, just he takes a different role sometimes. He, just like her, always tries to play the victim, and use his mental illness (just as she does with her physical and role as a single "mom") as an excuse for his destructive, harmful, and vindictive behavior. HE got hurt by me not able to talk or deal with a conversation at that moment, despite me being the one who had been experiencing epileptic fits, and a terrible headache, and just saying for him to stop calling me (the noise was killing me and like a knife in my brain everytime my computer rang from Skype, or the house phone rang). I really wasn't thinking correctly, and anyone who knows anything about epilepsy should know that especially during/between seizures/and a long while after, you can't expect that person to be able to think clearly, or communicate normally. For quite a while now I have been expressing to him that I truly believe I've been hallucinating, and where it was bad nearly a year ago, got somewhat better, but recently has been worse and worse. Same goes for my memory, and there has been times before where there's been shit I definitely should have remembered, but really… I can't. I have amnesia with pieces of my life and specific conversations- POOF gone to the ether. I' still not all there from last night, and very sleep deprived. When I did finally fall asleep, I kept being woken from nightmares, one of which I woke the house up screaming in my sleep at about 4:30-5am or so. My head is still very spacy… it's like being high in the most anti-euphoric way imaginable. If I had to describe hell (which, I really can't even describe this even, what I am going through mentally), this would be it, and I've been stuck in it for a long time, since yesterday morning. I wish to fuck I wasn't this way and could have given PoC what he desired, the explanation he wanted from me, but I couldn't and still am struggling to explain. All I know is that I kept sayng not to call me back anymore, that I couldnt talk and hear his negativity at that point in time until the point and continued pressure I finally told him to leave me alone and have a nice life. WHich ensued more and more calls/messages, going on how he did "nothing wrong and deserved an explanation"… I couldn't explain before shit, so IDK what made him think now I could suddenly explain anything any better.
He claims he had to walk on egg shells with me, and then was "forced" to profusely apologize to me. I never expected that, never wanted that, and up until yesterday, there was never a single reason he should have apologized, or felt bad about anything he did, and I told him that several times. When I get like this, I just need to be alone for a while to deal with my seizures and my fucked up headspace. It wasn't his fault, or fuck even my fault- epilepsy is a brain disorder, it's fucking literally BRAIN DAMAGE, regardless of the cause (be it a tumor, head trauma, or whatever is causing it, it's still damage to the brain which causes epileptic seizures). I wasn't ever trying to be mean, or hurtful, not intentionally, though I can now ee how some of my responses from yesterday afternoon could come off as cold and being callous. He says he feels led on, well… i can tell you now, I certainly feel led on. My feelings for PoC never changed until last night, until I discovered what he'd done. I loved PoC, loved him with all my heart. I wanted a life with him, I wanted us both to work to help better ourselves, and build a life together we both would have been happy with. I meant every word I'd said about loving him, and how much he meant to me, and my desire to help him anyway I could. Well, last night he said he hadn't felt the same about me for sometime. Which is fine, but he shouldn't have got back with me, told me he just said that when he was mad at me and pretty much did everything manipulative to try and restore our relationship. I DID NOT ASK whatsoever to attempt at getting back together, he did. My feelings had never changed, and I still loved him as much as ever. I was the only one duped here. I was the only one led on to believe someone loved me as much as I loved them. I certainly never, ever tried to guilt him or make him feel bad, even about shit he did do that directly hurt me. I never asked for a dime of his, never wanted anything from him, and never willing took anything from him, save for these two charms he'd bought for me (which now are in the backyard somewhere, chain broken, scattered in the yard) and it certainly wasn't for lack of effort on his part. In the hospital, he tried to get me to take his card. A couple times he tried insisting. I didn't want his money, I didn't want to take advantage of him, or anyone for that matter. The only thing he did for me was lend me the money, to which I returned to him when I got paid. It was something like 2 or 3 days tops- a very quickly repaid loan is as much as I can be accused of "taking" from PoC.
He'd even lied to me and told me "I don't mind you prostituting, I only worry about your safety". Weel, I'd found a situation that pretty much covered my safety, but still then I got shit after that… if you do have issues with a spouse prostituting and they cme to talk to you about if prior to engaging in anything, then fucking speak up and say so, don't act like you got no problems with it, then re-neg on it once the deed is done. I felt awful for that. I loved him enough I would have sat in WDs for him, had he have asked me to, rather than making the money that way. I even said that at one point, trying to be clear about everything with him.
I'm sure most of you think I'm a fraud, that I'm a liar, that I make this shit up regarding my health or even my side of events. It's whatever. I know the diagnoses I have. Believe me or not, it really doesnt matter.
As for posting shit in a "public" forum, please recall, I never instigated anything negative about either PoC or §m£ÂgØL, that was all on them, I just responded and continue to do so when I feel fit to. Nobody here, save §m£ÂgØL, or PoC, and a handful of other members here, most of which already know more of the details about shit, know who I am or have my PI. To the majority of users here, I'm just an anonymous person posting with the same usermname I've used for years and years now.
What really prompted me to post anything is the fact PoC went through and held my account hostage for ordering my medicine. If you trust him, he will betray your trust and use manipulative tactics to abuse and use you to get what he wants. I was only ever in that situation of trust with him, because I'd tried to help him. I wouldn't have trusted him with the shit had I ever suspected he would go about and do the shit he did. My mistake, I just hope no one else makes the same mistake. PoC is a very misleading character.
Get your shit together, get it ALL together, and put it in your backpack. All your shit, so it's together. Take it somewhere, ya know? Take it to the store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum, I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
Get your shit together. -
2017-09-01 at 9:09 PM UTC
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2017-09-01 at 9:12 PM UTC
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2017-09-01 at 9:12 PM UTC
Originally posted by mashlehash One time I said his name on tinychat and he unfriended me on the facebook.
then i can only deduce from this information that §m£ÂgØL, or thomas, is still holding a candle for hydro. like really deep down, which could be so far that he gets on with his day to day life without even realizing it. but the fact he didn't even bat an eyelid when hydro did it, that means something. that shows he still cares.
lol.
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2017-09-01 at 9:13 PM UTC
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2017-09-01 at 9:18 PM UTC
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2017-09-01 at 9:22 PM UTCyeah smash it mash, fucking smash it up smash, mash, smash it, mash it, blurghghgh
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2017-09-01 at 9:22 PM UTCHey everyone! §m£ÂgØL has a vintage Coca-Cola bottle!
Ultimate PI masta here. -
2017-09-01 at 9:27 PM UTCI think I'm going to masturbate to hydro's misery and then cry afterwards because you guys dox'd me and my bottles.
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2017-09-01 at 9:33 PM UTCI usually hate on "gibberish" rap but this song has a rhythm and beat that just relaxes me and makes me feel like I'm "winning" while
driving down the highway :
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2017-09-01 at 9:35 PM UTC
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2017-09-01 at 9:40 PM UTCEh
Originally posted by mashlehash One time I said his name on tinychat and he unfriended me on the facebook.
Lol. He saw the commonly missed 'first sign.' The first sign someone with your PI is going to start using it against you in a malicious manner, crescendoing until their victim winds up dead, or worse.
It almost always starts with saying a person's name on a medium where handles and usernames are used rather than realzeez. NiS v FB.
Then maybe it's mentioning their full name and city of residency, maybe posting a few pictures that they never posted themselves.
After that it's the full P.I. release, shortly followed by ill-timed deliveries sent to victim's house - boxes of live wasps, feces encrusted produce and meat, animal heads with the spinal cord attached, etc.
Toward the end it usually always amounts to high-level blackmail or organizing a group to come to your residence irl and rape/torture/murder.
It ALWAYS starts with a first name. Your best bet if that happens to you is to wipe your entire hard drive and just kill yourself before someone else has a chance to do it for you. Although you may discontinue using the internet at that point, this doesn't mean that the escalating PI release won't still be taking place; you just won't be able to see it. Either way, it's a snowball effect and a matter of time before you're visited.
And on top of this, it's MASH we're talking about here. A guy like THAT, dropping your Earth-borne mother-given identity... your essence.. the label attached to everything and all that you are?! Mashehashle has bluish, near black blood, and a sinister presence lying directly beneath that jovial facade, one that will eat you alive from the inside out. A man that truly known no bounds, disregards all rules, and whose mind runs aggressively rampant. I'm just saying, next time you see him in tinychat, stare into his eyes, but not to long! but for a 10-20 seconds. Tell me you don't see what I see.