1944 LOCAL time.
Im posting this while under the effects of 70mg of vyvanse. These words have received minimal...almost no...visual proofreading, syntax or grammatical accuracy checks, spellchecking, or linear-flow coherence. There has been zero electronic proofreading...i didnt even check this sites built-in spell checker. I know there are mispelled words...my eye caught them but when it did my typing fingers were busy doing something else and like I already said, this isnt intended to be a published work of literary perfection. Im posting this as-typed, as a compilation of observations from my head along with notes taken throughout the morning and early afteroon that were originally entered on various electronics devices then typed and posted while currently sitting at PC. Again...with minimal proofreading.
This post is about the effects of vyvanse and has zero significance or purpose other than for me to be able to possibly reference it at a later time. Depending how the mood strikes me, at some point in the future I may or may not edit this into a final form that is more coherent. I may not, if for no other reason that to gauge my own typing/grammatical/syntax/vocabulary while under the influence of this pharmaceutical.
0645 52-bpm normal range of post-waking
1004 70mg consumed oral;
1004 68-bpm
1200 116-bpm (after about three hours working outside and a few minutes after lifting weights in a lightly-strenuous manner
respiration and blood pressure is much higher. Even now while 'resting' I feel the repiratory need that Id have
doing a light workout. I need to either fix my blood pressure monitor or get a new one.
1300 76-bpm (after sitting at a keyboard for exactly 60 minutes doing nothing more physically strenous than typing. Even with zero physically strenuous activity Im breathing through my mouth to keep up with
my oxygen needs)
1345 I grossly underestimated my calorie needs, even after the hundreds upon hundreds of grams of low- and high-glycemic carb loading (Ill do the math later but part of my consumption was a pound of spaghetti and two medium-sized yams IN ADDITION to my normal consumption) I did yesterday along with the massive amounts of usable-fat consumption over the last week. The previously mentioned 'chills' were the result of low-blood sugar. Just before I drank my protein drink, I started getting low-blood sugar tingles and the related finger twitchyness. The chills and low-blood sugar sensations subsided after my protein drink (2 eggs, 12 oz-ish milk, packet of powdered milk, 12oz-ish rice-drink.) Shortly (I dont have a specific period of time) after drinking that, I ate two chocolate bars (440 calories, 42g carbs) and drank some creatine drink (360 calories, 60g carbs) for a total of about 800 calories and 100g of high-glycemic carbs. shortly after that all the tingling was gone and didnt return. Sometimes I get a low-blood-sugar headache but I didnt get that this time. Ive gone days (58hours at least...maybe 90 hours at most...for accuracy it was probably closer to about 65 hours between solid food consumption, but I wont testify to any of that in court since I have no fucking clue) without eating anything solid where the only calories I consumed were in a bottle of some sort of gatorade-related drink the first 'day' then after that only nasty water with whatever nastiness in it not counting as caloric consumption in any way whatsoever) and Ive never had had low-blood-sugar chills/twitches like that.
1600 normally between 3pm and 4pm i get the heavy-eyed sensation of wanting to sleep if Im not doing something physically active. if Im on the computer typing, or sitting down eating or playing with my phone, i get a strong urge to sleep. If I go somewhere quiet and close my eyes...Ill sleep. Ive been relatively physically static for the last hour and dont have any heavy-eyed sensations or urge to sleep.
1645 while reading through my phones texting-conversation with someone I noticed I may be getting short in my demeanor with them. I dont feel any different emotionally than I did earlier, I still feel emotionally neutral, with no anger/happy/unhappy/up/down feeling. the jist of the conversation is a question and answer exchange where my perception of them is that theyre not providing the information they have in the timely manner they can...and should be...providing it. this specific person incites these feelings from me on a regular basis in our conversations but Im not sure if this is normal or the effect of the vyvanse. this specific conversation has been going on for several hours, with the same general content, but within the last 20 minutes or so I noticed I started using colorful, derogatory expletives in a less than cordial manner as well as wording my texts significantly more aggressively than I had been prior to that. Im also reading back through text exchanges from much earlier in the day with other people who arent annoying me and I notice my syntax/demeanor was unemotional and almost machine-like, such as how I would type a professional paper, very serious correspondence, or in a text-exchange with someone in a professional premise. That is... straight to the point of the reason for communicating with nothing else added, such as humor, expressions, small talk, anything hinting of emotion, and most especially the hard-core sarcasm and absurd stoicism I almost always include in my texts...even with some professionals I correspond with. I never use emoticons and fortunately that didnt change today. When others send me emoticons my replies are usually of ridiculous-humor bordering on obnoxious, with my intent being to express disgust at such ridiculousness while trying to avoid hurting their feelings. The emoticons people sent me today didnt get any replies or even acknowledgement...I ignored every single one that I saw...which I do occassionally, but not often. The most common reason is when theyre on my shit list or Im pissed off for one reason or another. The text replies from me to other people starting about 20 minutes ago, give or take, have started to include more semi-humor and non-aggressive curse words but none of the non-offensive colorful expletives I use on a regular basis.
In all the texts Ive noticed an uncharacteristic degree of aggression and demanding statements in a way i purposely avoid under normal circumstances. One example is I never use the term 'I want' when communicating with people yet I lost count of how many times I saw it in my texts today. When I havent taken vyvanse, and convey instructions that have some importance to an individual, I use factual, clear, and as simple as possible low-sylable terms that dont include emotion-related terminology...yet what Im reading looks like it was written by some kind of wanna-be dictator. Theres no major emotional baggage in anything I texted today, but I did see a few examples of 'or' when relating to consequences of actions. Thats something else I dont do, ever...add emotion into the equation in that type of situation/conversation. I dont want to include specific examples, but I sent someone the word 'obligatory'...and Im about 99.999% sure Ive never vocally said, much less texted, that word in my life.
1815 my body odor is very, very different. based on everything ive eaten over the last few days i should be smelling the spaghetti i ate yesterday but i smell absolutely no trace of the garlic, which is always the most obvious smell...but none of the other sauce spices that should be there. that is something i have no explanation for. i have a fairly good familiarity with how i smell based on what ive eaten, what im doing, and what ive done, but the way i smell now isnt from anything ive consumed over the last several days and im not doing anything physically that i havent done countless times before.
1915 my texts to people are starting to include my normal vocabury and colorful aphorisms along with my 'normal' texting mannerisms. a note, I havent typed, said, or thought in my head the word 'literally' all day, yet I use that word on a fairly frequent basis when talking/texting/thinking...now when Im typing texts to people it keeps popping into my head, wanting to be typed. emotionally Im getting the faint twinges of how I normally am...such as when things happen that would normally annoy me, i get annoyed. under normal circumstances things something annoying would cause me to react in some way...such as a response to a person verbally explaining my displeasure or if it was an inanimate object the response would be either a verbal curse or some sort of excessively physical interaction. earlier in the day things would happen that annoyed me yet had no effect whatsoever on my feelings, nor invoked any response. example: i was working in my yard with something that is supposed to hold water. things were happening that caused failures for it to reliably hold water repeatedlly. it was a cave-man simple situation that should have worked the way i intended it to work the first time but taking a wild guess from my memory from this morning, i would say that probably 6 o 7 times i had to completely re-engineer the thing. under non-vyvanse circumstances there would have been significant unpleasant physical interactions involved but i robotically did what i needed to do to make it function.
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general notes
My thought process is what I would ascribe to how the main character in 'limitless' described the effects of the drug he took. The physical sensation in my brain (brain? in my head, either way) is similar to what I get when Im concentrating on something complicated or absurdly annoying to my head, such as algebra. I abhore algebra. The only description I can give for how it feels is perhaps, and that is a very loosely used perhaps, 'pressure.' Its not painful or annoying...or anything. Its just there. Things I know from deep in my memory are coming out when I need them. Normally when I try that I get a 'tip of my tongue' sensation where I know that I know/knew what Im trying to pen but I cant pull it out. I know I have the recollection, it just takes effort to get it out. Example, I needed historic data for a paper Im writing and it was right there in my head when normally I have to concentrate, or even find something hard-copy to reference. The paper Im in the process of writing is coming along faster than normal and from basic proof reading of what Ive already written it looks good even before the proof-reading phase. Normally when I write extensively I have to write a handful of paragraphs along with a few bullet points then go do something unrelated to clear my head before coming back to continue. I can 'feel' in my head when it needs a break. When Im writing something that has no purpose or significance, such as a stupid-ass niggers-in-space post whos only purpose is to drain my head of stupid-ery, or reply to a phone text message of the simple trivialities of chit-chat, I get no in-brain sensation and have no though process involved. Its like I am literally not thinking...the shit just flows out. (to anyone that has replied to my previous posts saying my posts are like shit flowing out of an asshole you are virtually correct...there is little more mental or physical effort in my posts that what I would
expend taking a dump...and I do so for the same exact reason.) When Im writing something meaningful and significant that has an intended use, purpose, or audience whos perception of the writing is of concern, it takes me some time to write while I carefully maneuver words around to give the reader what I want them to have, aligning and orienting sentences and points to flow along with how I want the syntax to project, along with something as simple as picking and choosing the exact, precise word and its potentially percieved definition or meaning to whatever intellectual supra-genius...or fucking retard electric-socket licker that may be reading it. I have to concentrate and think with effort while doing this to the point I get physical sensations in my head. Under normal, non-pharmaceutically enhanced circumstances the most significant physical sensations come when Im reading entire sentence blocks of related information points and 'feeling' the entire thing. By 'feeling', considering there is no english word for what is going on in my head, what Im doing is seeing/observing/processing/manipulating/playing-with/ the entirety of the writing selection...from the smallest individual component of punctuation and spacing, to words used, other words that could be used, locations of the words and... ultimately, to moving the entirety of it all around not only in individual components and different groups, but how different ways of being amalgomated in its entirety to where the entire point of information and its configuration will be/could be perceived by reader. (<- normally Id chop that up into smaller pieces in proofreading but that makes too
much sense, to me, for what Im trying to convey right now while pharmaceutically-enhanced, so thats how it stays. Ive already modified it with smaller words so if its too incomprehensible go take some amphetamine and re-read it...then itll make sense. There was no other point in such specific detail other than for the benefit of anyone reading this.) In simplification, that previous run-on sentence described, in detail, the though process of what Im thinking that usually causes a physical-sensation inside my head to better associate the sensation I get while not taking vyvanse with the description I gave for the sensation I get after taking vyvanse.
There is a definite change in focus. Where normally Im doing A then get distracted to do B...then possibly C...then neglect/dont do A...typical ADHD. Now, I didnt start with A because I knew B had to be done first because it was getting hot (I had to do some work on the landscaping in my yard) but I need to do A before the sun gets to where Im blinded by it, but instead of doing B and forgetting A, (obviously right now Im typing this), Im working on B (landscaping), while in my head (landscaping is a zero-IQ or mental capacity requirement...its purely physcial) Im pondering the physical/mental effects of the vyvanse, pondering the project B upcoming, doing C, which is pondering and writing a paper, unrelated to anything relevant here, doing D, which is pondering and writing this post (real-time, im writing notes as they pop into my head onto my phone/tablet to transfer to my PC to proof-read and in the case of this post, to post. I normally do that sort of thing anyway...that is ill be doing something then something relevant to a different project comes into my head so I write it down on paper or type it into one of my electronic devices for future reference,) as well as taking short breaks to lift weights, taking 'actions' in several varied interpersonal relationship situations, thinking about rebuilding one of my toys and items I need to acquire to do so, pondering and researched another simple project that only took a few minutes that wasnt significant enough to consider giving its own designation letter; pondered, online-researched, and logged information on a future project that was slightly complex (ballistics/firearms related on a somewhat elaborate method to prepare empty brass cases to make them ready to be used in ultra-precision rounds), as well as using two different smart phones to communicate to multiple people on multiple topics of conversation. Other to-do things pop into my head but its like my head knows theyre irrelevant right now...or can be more appropriately dealt with later. In summary, Im doing more at once and have accomplished more in the last two hours than I normally do in an entire weekend day. While Im physically/mentally doing all these things, the thoughts in my head unrelated to what Im presently at-that-instant thinking about/doing 'move' to the side but are still there and I can 'feel' their presence. Its like theyre still being attended to by a different version of myself in my head. by 'attended to' I mean not letting them escape or be forgotten. Usually when I do such a thing if I havent written it down on a to-do list Ill forget it due to distraction until some future inopportune moment where its associated with the thought 'ah fukkit...ill do it someday that isnt now or any time soon.' Ive been skipping around from things Ive been doing while being able to return almost seamlessly to other things Ive been doing. As mentioned already, the norm when Im doing this skipping around is the shit I skip...gets left skipped, and doesnt get done. Right now at this moment I am typing two separate 'significant' pieces, one being the niggersin.space post for posterity, the other being something with a topic that is irrelevant, but be assured the audience will be a whole higher paygrade than anyone on this site, as well as typing to other people for various reasons on various electronics devices. I regularly do such multitasking...typing out blurbs in one window on a serious writing piece, then going to another window for a second serious piece when a significant thought strikes me, and on to other windows with other writings with complication levels ranging from simple to-do lists, to replies to somewhat complicated questions requiring some minor thought to answer, to sometimes responses required with a degree of complication requiring me to reference something physical or digital for a proper response, and ranging up to writing professional papers requiring 150% accuracy that had the potential to literally result in GBH/grievous bodily harm or death (side note...about 60% of the time when I intend to type GBH I subconsciously or accidently type GHB. I actually typed GBH here.) With this vyvanse, Im able to type longer without having to pause to concentrate on what is in front of me and compare it to what I want to be in front of me and with the instances I do have to stop to compose what Im doing into a form I most want it done in, there is less lag time involved and less perceived effort. (I described the process that goes on in my head when Im doing this earlier in
the post) Im able to jump from paragraph to paragraph that covers different points while keeping what Im thinking coherent, while not ruining the flow. Ill think of something unrelated to what Im specifically doing right-now...address and resolve it...then return seamlessly to what I had been doing. Right now my phones are all on silent and my cue to reply to someone texting me...or to answer a voice call...is when the screen lights up and I see it in my peripheral vision. Normally when Im multitasking the way I am now is there will be a significant period of time between when I receive a text from the other party and when I actually reply. This is due to me forgetting to check to see if I have recieved a reply when I didnt see the screen light up, or seeing it light up and thinking to myself Ill reply in a second...Im busy...then I forget to reply for a significant period of time because I have other things Im doing. Now, with the vyvanse effects, I havent missed a single text. My phones are all in the usual places, oriented the way they always are, and I see the screens light up right away and barely miss a beat when I reply to the multiple individuals texting me before going right back to typing/papershuffling/mouse-tossing.
ADHD apparently is gone. As mentioned earlier, Im multitasking out the ass right now...more successfully than I would be able to do if not pharmaceutically enhanced. That being said, its obvious Im busy.
Example 1 of no ADHD: I dropped something off my desk and it rolled across the tile floor, far out of reach, to where Id need to get up to retrieve it. normally I would stop everything Im doing just to pick it up and return it to its assigned space before I have a neurological breakdown. but... something in my head said 'no...it can wait. youll have to move all those papers, take everything off your lap, walk halfway across the room, then reorient everything back the way it was. fuck that.'
Example 2 of no ADHD: earlier I walked past the kitchen to go to the bathroom. There was something on the counter that shouldnt have been there. Normally Id stop what I was doing to return it to its home. Instead the little voice said 'no...get it later when you have to go to the kitchen anyway. going in there now is out of the way, its not going anywhere, it isnt bothering anyone, and if it sits there for the short period of time between now and the next time you need to get something to eat, it will not cause a global catastrophe.
relating to ADHD and the previous examples...work flow and cohesion seems clearer and makes more sense. Issues that pop into my head needing attention are being dealt with better than normal. My desk has folders and papers scattered on both sides of me, on the floor, I have several electronics devices Im using for various purposes, my drink is on top of something it shouldnt be on top of, its a disaster...and looks like a disaster...yet when something I need to reference pops into my head, or when I need to text someone, I know exactly which way to spin my chair and where to reach for. I had to take a piss earlier and the little voice said 'piss in the drink container...theres no time to go to the bathroom.' And I would have if I didnt want to piss in my drink. The only downside, as I already mentioned, is my coordination is fucked. Ill go to manipulate the screen or button on one of my electronics devices and ham-fist it. Its like my muscle memory is trying to do what its used to doing...and always does...but it cant, or wont. It took me forever (comparatively speaking) to plug in the micro-USB connector to my tablet.
Im typing as fast as I do when I take caffeine or ephedrine/caffeine/asprin and like with those drugs, dont make as many typing errors. Also...something I just noticed...normally when I type for more than a few paragraphs Ill keep one wrist resting, either on the keyboard if its large enough to hold it or if not on the desk below it. Ill rest either wrist...im not preferential, but its usally the left one while I maneuver my right hand to type numers, non-letter character, or manipulate the cursor control.) While typing informal writings such as internet forum posts and various forms of texting/messaging, Ill generally ignore capitalization and unnecessary punctuation and wont concern myself with it until Im going to make a more formal and professional submission. While typing this post and my pre-proofreading paper, along with
several texts/messages Ive sent, my not-paying-attention typing has me capitalizing and adding punctuation more along the lines of when Im doing proofreading.
Physical precision coordination seems to be off. I dropped the lids for a couple of different bottles I was drinking out of when I was trying to close them, then I almost closed my front door on my fingers. I never do that clumsy shit. Related to that, my PC cursor controller is a trackball that I have very exacting control over under normal circumstances, meaing I can flick the cursor from one side of the screen to the other virtually instantly with my thumb while still being able to cut-and-paste tiny graphics but now my precision cursor movement to different sentences or characters while proof reading to add punctuation or modify words is badly off. When I try to select a single character or item of punctuation Ill select two or more characters. When moving the cursor long distances across the screen the norm for me is to be able to get it to stop dead on the character I want it. Now there is a range of one or two characters unless Im conentrating. Selecting characters or entire blocks of text to highlight now results in large, unintended areas being selected. Normally when I take one hand off the keyboard away from the 'home' keys then, return it, there will be a sub-second pause while my index finger finds the little braille nub above the letter-J. Now when Im doing it there is virtually zero pause, as in my fingers almost automatically go back to where they need to be.
Physical strength is increased. I dont know about stamina and endurance since I dont have anything to do to test that. I have no interest in or intention of going running today. Today isnt a normal workout day so Im just lifting some weights to get a general feel for how the vyvance affects me phsycially. Barbell curls usually burn my arms out at around a certain number of reps but I didnt feel the normal burning-out sensation and was able to do several more reps. When I havent taken anything before working out, right after a set of, specifically those curls, I get a 'heavy' heart rate (higher BPM with a harder thumping feel) which almost always drops within a few minutes to almost normal. With vyvanse in my system, after that set my heart rate stayed 'heavy' for much, much longer. Even after waiting longer between sets than I usually do my heart rate is higher and the 'thumping' is harder. The veins in my forehead, neck, forearm, and bicep are sticking out more than they usually would post-set, but that has to have more to do with my increased BP and heart rate due to the vyvanse than it has to do with the exercise. My veins are sticking out similar to how they would with heavy-light or light-medium physical exertion. Several minutes after I lifted the weights was the first time I saw myself in the mirror post-vyvanse consumption so Im not sure what they looked like earlier in the day when they werent affected by exercise.
Yesterday was a heavier than usual chest day so my chest is already fatigued from that...or it should have been, however when doing dumbell presses, the weights were significantly easier to lift off their storage shelf and bring into position than usual. my first several reps were comparitively easy, so to speak, and I lifted the weights faster than usual. the last 2 or 3 reps where Im normally huffing and puffing to get them up were not as difficult as they were yesterday and I was able to keep more control over the weight, as in my forearms werent trying to give out the way they usually do in that situation, making the weights unstable. the set completion was in uncommonly good form...even for comparing to when the same muscles should be wholly rested. I added one rep to my the first 'control' set but it was just up and down...not the close-hand-together-at-end that i usually do...but that up-and-down was completely controlled with good form. it was even easier to release the weights at the end, where normally they land with a bit of an impact from my muscles being tired out. Afterwards my heart rate was the same as from the curling...it stayed harder and faster than it normally would, taking into consideration what I did. When I finish a set Ill wait for my heart to slow down to a certain point, which depends on what I did, before I do another set. With those dumbells it should only have been 3 or 4 minutes yet its about 10 minutes at
this point and my heartrate isnt what it would/should be after a regular set. I never check my heart rate with a watch when exercising as a means to determine when I should do the next set. I do it by feel and what Ive become familiar with on my own body. Its been about 10 minutes since I finished that set and my heart rate is 92bpm, which is in the high-normal range of what it should be for that level of exertion, but the force of the contractions is much, much stronger than what Im used to. My muscle performance on that specific exercise, with those specific conditions...such as being the day after a heavy workout, weight of the dumbells, and the set performed after a 'light-medium' day of physical outdoor activity...should be me lifting that weight for half the number of reps that I did, with the first few in good form, a few
more in mediocre form, and the last few being a major struggle with the possibility of losing control at some point and dropping the weight.
Just finished an ab exercise. heart rate 112bpm, which is normal, but i can hold my fingers on the skin above the artery Im using without applying any pressure and feel the pulse clearly. normally i have to apply some pressure to get a clear pulse. 10 minutes after the 112bpm measurement my heartrate is 92bpm. I did abs yesterday so theyre somewhat fatigued but the set I just did was done with the same number of reps that I normally do and with almost perfect form except for the last 2...and the 3rd to last iffy, but still much better than normal form for 3rd-to-last rep. normally theres some light swinging going on at some point starting about halfway through the set, then towards the end using other muscles to help get the weight to where it needs to go. if i hadnt taken vyvanse, and i tried to do this same exercise, in the same manner, a day after doing abs, i could have done the same number of reps but starting at about the 4th or 5th rep thered be some light swinging...a few reps after that forced swinging...then a few reps after that using other muscles to help persuade the weight to go where its supposed to go. failure would be normal, give or take 'normal.' doing abs right now was a bad idea. I dont know exactly how much Ive eaten and drank today...but I know everything Ive eaten since 9pm last night is still in me...and I only shit once this morning and that was my before-9pm meal. ive sweated a lot of the liquid out from working outside...but there still remains a fuckton of food in me right now and after that ab workout, my digestive tract isnt in the least bit happy about that. I had to unbuckle my belt and still feel like im going to shit/puke/burp/explode/implode.
Im feeling 'chills' in certain areas of my body that I have no idea what could mean.They remind me of low-blood sugar tingles I get when I go too long without eating but they only last for dozens-of seconds then disappear whereas when I have low-blood sugar they stay until I either ignore them and they go away on their own, or I flex the muscles theyre in and they fade out. When I flex my musles on these they turn into tingles like when a body part 'falls-asleep' then fade into a sense of localized warmth...then disappear other than phantom sensations from me concentrating too hard on the issue. Pre-muscle-flexing the chills somewhat also feel like the sensation of going from a hot environment into a cold one and the body getting confused. The main ones with the strongest sensation and most frequent occurence are in my left elbow up and down 6" to 8" and my left side lower lats. Minor ones are my left jaw muscle and glutes...but the glutes might have to do with me sitting on them.
Speaking of eating, I have zero appetite. Normally I am ALWAYS hungry. I can eat a 2,000 calorie meal then catch a smell of someone cooking something appetizing and be hungry again to the point I need to break from what Im doing to eat. Im essentially forcing myself to eat beacause I know/feel that I should be hungry. While working outside in the sun I drank about a half a gallon of gatorade between 9am and noon. Normally when Im in the hot sun Ill drink about 3/4 of a gallon of water between 8am and noon, along with about 16 ounces of something related to gatorade, but after taking the vyvanse Im trying to take in as many extra calories, micronutrients, and high-glycemic carbs as I can. Im not in the least bit hungry but Im about to force myself (1230) to take my lunch-time protein drink. I just looked at the remnants of a pizza that normally Id start salivating over the thought of eating. Zero interest at all.
My mood is neutral. Im not happy...unhappy...mad...anything. Im involved in a multi-faceted interpersonal relationship situation/s that would have most people shitting themselves with stress, and normally my emotional responses to anything stressful in this manner are along the lines of 'woopdee' but I have the deep-down sensation of how I 'should' be feeling and reacting but in this instance I feel no emotional response whatsoever with no desire or interest in acting (acting definition being) i allegedly should be and the best defintion of my feeling is nothing.
Im not getting any jitteryness or the zoomzoomzoom inclination I do when taking ephedrine/caffeine/asprin.
1615: not feeling any of the zoomzoomzoomgogogogogo of caffeine or caffeine/ephedrine/asprine, but if I sit down to type for more than a few minutes then get back up i feel as if I dont want to get up. somewhat like the feeling early in the morning right after waking up and the muscles dont want to move and everyone wants to go back to bed. it goes away within 8 or 10 steps. If I do anything physically static, such as sitting down typing, on caffeine or the CEA stack, my legs will want to bounce and whatever part of my body isnt physically moving will want to be moving. Also, unless Im physically/mentally focused my head and eyes will be looking around at everything. Im not getting any of those sensations or urges with the vyvanse. While sitting and typing I dont get any urgest to bounce my legs or dart around my field of vision to see everything.
An oddity is that I had an interaction with a stranger earlier where it didnt go as normal. Usually when Im talking to a stranger Ill react to them in the same mannerisms as they initially act towards me, as in if they act (as much as i despise the terms 'beta' , 'beta' , and such, this is the simplest terminology for me to use here) beta towards me...i respond as beta. if they try to act beta, ill out-beta them into a thumb-sucking coma. The individual was a delivery guy acting as beta and polite as conceivable but for some reason my response was excessively aggresive, borderline rude, and basically being a dick. He didnt seem offended, from what I could tell. I never act that way, even when Im in a bad mood so I have to blame the vyvanse for that.
Post last edited by infinityshock at 2017-07-17T00:04:38.304554+00:00
Post last edited by infinityshock at 2017-07-17T00:05:27.583257+00:00
